Post Edited (map lady) : 3/4/2008 2:08:40 PM (GMT-7)
Ugh, I waited all day and all I got was a call back from the nurses asking me more questions, 10 minutes before the doctor's office closes for the day. Now I have to wait till tomorrow to even have any idea what they want me to do
To top it off, I got a big long lecture today about how much work I've been missing. My boss doesn't believe my disease is real, so there I was getting glared at by him for like an hour while the thankfully friendly #2 man in charge of the whole place sat there and explained the HR policies to me about medical conditions and sick time and yadda yadda. They're very unhappy that I can't know ahead of time when I will have trouble getting out of bed in the morning and be late or that I can't tell days or weeks ahead of time when I will have to miss work from being too sick and tired to even get up at all. They said it is ok for now to just come in as often as I can and use up my sick time for whatever work I miss each day, but they would be happier if I can tell them ahead of time when I'm going to be late (how is that possible? lol) since it would not make it look like I am just blowing off work out of laziness.
I sat there and cried and told them I'm sorry for being sick and that I'm not sure when I'll be better and that I might even have to go to the hospital in a few weeks if things don't improve. Nevermind that I already told my boss that before he decided to complain to scary important people about my attendance, I had to sit there and cry and tell it all over again. I told them how I have to start medicines that might make me even sicker in other ways temporarily and I'm sorry for that, and begged them not to be mad at me if I get sick with the flu or other infections all the time from now on since all the medicines I'll be trying will make me much more likely to get sick from other peoples' germs and make me have difficulty recovering from being sick. They offered to provide me with gloves and masks and said they're willing to work with me about my health problems, but all the one guy did was frown constantly at me while my boss gave me the look of death the whole time, so I really get the feeling they will fire me when I run out of sick and vacation time
I am going to beg my doctor tomorrow to give me whatever super drug they can, no matter how bad it is, so that I can try and get better soon enough to maybe not lose my job. In the meantime, I'm going to go cry some more, helps relieve the frustration from all this.
Well, I finally heard back from the doctor on friday and he made me come in and go in a container for them, and tomorrow they are going to do a sigmoidoscopy (does not sound fun) to see if I have any abcesses and to see how bad my flare looks. I have no idea what's going to happen because the pus went away again. I am still eating all the candy so I guess it wasn't that. I hope I am not too sick, hopefully I will have good news to report tomorrow.
I also have to have my doctor write me a note about how I have an incurable disease and I will be sick for possibly months until they find the proper medication I need, etc etc because although Mr. Chief Operating Officer is somewhat sympathetic and doesn't want to have to give me the boot, I have to manage my schedule and such with my direct boss who doesn't believe my disease exists and does not want to allow me any schedule flexibility to accommodate all my doctor's visits and tests. I gave him a copy of my diagnosis report and the booklet about crohn's but he says "That kind of disease can't exist, they are just making it up so they can have an excuse to not fix you." I told the c.o.o. that there are other people at work who have the same illness and do not get treated like I do, and he said that I need to start bringing in doctor's notes for every little thing and then my boss can't say anything about my scheduling needs. I told him even if the boss can't do anything to discipline me because I am protected by doctor's notes that I am concerned he will still treat me badly because he expects me to suck it up and not go to the doctor. I can't not go to the doctor because I will literally die, and it seems like this guy wants me to shut up and die. C.o.o. said we'll have to see what happens and hopefully I won't have to go on disability due to being unreliable. Having doctor's appointments to try and not die from a debilitating disease makes you unreliable? That's the only work I ever really miss when I haven't been in the hospital.
I told them I was going to beg my doctor for an infusion drug in addition to pills so that I can get better sooner, that infusion drugs generally work in a few weeks instead of a few months, but that it would mean I would have to miss half a day of work every couple weeks, and my boss's immediate response was to shout "WELL THEN, make sure you schedule it OUTSIDE OF WORK!!!". You would think this man has never actually gone to a doctor! Doctors aren't open early or late or barely at all on weekends! I told him the doctors, all of them, are only open from 8 to 5. That's 1/2 hour per day they are open that I am not required to be at work, nowhere near enough time for my infusion. I told him they are open from 8 to noon on saturdays but the oncology center where they do infusions might not be open saturdays. He huffed really agitatedly and yelled "FINE, WHATEVER." and pretended I wasn't in the room anymore. This guy is such a creep, he literally treats me like dirt for being sick and thinks every sick person is a lazy faker who doesn't deserve to come to work. I kind of wonder if I am not able to stay in remission because I constantly walk around terrified that he's going to come yell at me for something and I either A) burst into tears whenever someone comments that I look sick [on friday it wasn't just "oh are you sick?" it was "oh my god, are you ok!?"] or B) feel like I am going to throw up whenever I see my boss because he literally glares at me like he wants to hurt me.