I think my friend with IBD is noncompliant...

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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 3/1/2008 7:43 AM (GMT -6)   
O'kay,so I know she is!! Long story kinda short...My friend Patty has chrohns,she's a Pediatrician,was very sick last year,because she was trying to "treat" herself,actually got "kicked out" of the GI practice that I go to,so she switches doctors,she's very thin,like 89 lbs,I saw her yesterday at the hospital (seeing one of my inpatients),and I think she has lost more weight,she kept saying "everything is fine",she thinks she has a fissure,she got a sitz bath and some cream,and she said if it's not better by Monday,she'll call her doctor,I don't know if she will or not.She is an EXCELLENT Pediatrician,I guess when they are the patient,.the tables are turned,heck,I'm like that as a RN. So,should I just call her next week to check on her?? What would you do?? Thanks :-)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 3/1/2008 8:39 AM (GMT -6)   

I know how you feel.  I, myself, tried to tell myself I was okay for so  long.  I continued to lose weight and had diarrhea and pain.  Everyone knew I wasn't okay, but the doctor kept running tests that kept coming back normal, so I "believed" him.  nono    Not good.  After a year of all of this, I was diagnosed with crohns and am finally feeling better. 

Anyways...as for your friend, I would say, be a good friend.  Try to get her to go to a doctor in a supportive way.  I'm sure it's hard as a doctor to be a patient.  I am a teacher and they say that "teaching teachers is the most difficult thing to do."  tongue    Check on her and see if there is anything you can do.  It is ultimately her decision in the end...she has to get the help she needs, but let her know that you are there for her!

Good luck and keep us posted!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1010
   Posted 3/1/2008 8:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I have been in patty's position before. Sometimes strength is our greatest weakness. The problem with "going it alone" and being stoic is that over time, it and the anxiety that comes with the isolation of handling things by yourself, can really distort your thinking. I found in the end that I was functioning on two levels -- intellectual and emotion. Intellectually I could fact check my symptoms and recognize that I was ill, but emotionally I just couldn't allow myself to feel that. It's big trouble.

Is your friendship strong enough to be honest? Can you tell her what you see and what you fear? Couch it in terms of your perceptions. I am seeing this behaviour, this sign, this symptom and I worry because ....?

I had managed more than two dozen obstructive episodes at home on my own in a two year period. After the fact I could relay factually to my health providers what I had experienced, without the emotions of course, and because my blood work remained relatively normal, there was no real alarm. I don't think they believed that these were real obstructive episodes because in their experience that kind of pain, vomiting etc. brings people into hospital.

My family felt impotent to intervene. They had to live with me and I'd just freeze them out if they expressed concern. It took my friend to confront me and express her fears for my life and her frustration with my reckless behavior to begin the process of waking up to my true situation. It took three years, two surgeries, counselling with a health psychologist and a lot of hard work, but it all began with that initial conversation.

I am thankful now, but wasn't really at the time. Our friendship was definitely the kind where she took the chance.

Sometimes being a good friend requires courage. Only you can figure out how to handle this. Best wishes and thanks for caring about a fellow crohnnie.

30+ years living with Crohn's.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/1/2008 10:22 AM (GMT -6)   

I agree with the ohers who have answered you here, if you feel you have a close personal and trusting relatonship with this friend ask if she would be comfortable talking about her Crohn's with you.

Listen to her and then encourage her in a kind and gentle way to seek help as you are worried about her.

I pray she will respond to you.

Take care

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 3932
   Posted 3/1/2008 10:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Doctors make the WORST patients. An old saw that happens to be very true!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2486
   Posted 3/1/2008 11:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I am a horrible patient sometimes...as a health professional you tend to think that nothing terribly bad is going to happen to you, and you're not supposed to be sick anyway.  So you just let it go, and let it go, until something disastrous happens.  I probably wouldn't have had to be in the hospital this last time if I had realized a few days earlier that I needed to do something about how crappy I was feeling.  I just didn't because I was "too busy" and thought it would just mend itself on its own, because things usually do.  Stupid, I know.  But this is how doctors think.  So reach out to your friend, and understand that it is very difficult for a doctor be a patient, and tell her it's okay to admit that things aren't roses all the time.  I wish her and you the best!
Co-moderator - IBS Forum

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 95
   Posted 3/1/2008 5:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Sometimes i feel as though my family and friends get tired of listening to me so i keep things to myself, I have a good friend that has learned to read between the lines and she will tell me I need to take care of me and slow down to do the right things. I sometimes get upset but when i think it through i realize that she is right and I then realize what a good friend she really is. My husband is just as wise to whats happening. So I have to say to be there for your friend and help in the ways you are able. She will thank you in the end for being you!!
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