homeschoolmom, please don't feel like you are a wimp. Because you aren't, you are living with a chronic and incurable disease that has some ugly side effects. I myself have lived with Crohns for over 32 years and just a couple of months ago started having alot of anxiety myself. Started on the Xanax and started seeing a therapist this past month too. Give it some time things will get better. And definetly keep talking to us, I would be lost without the support I get on this board.
You are right and I know that. Somehow over the last year I have arrived at this point. Since I was 12 years old I have dealt with this DD and have never felt sorry for myself (with the exception of a day here and there). Part of it may be that I have been having marriage problems. My husband has become very demanding...he has started to expect more for me than I am able to do. He is also very critical of my business (I am and Princess House Consultant and do this part-time). I have been doing this and love getting out with women, he is not happy because I don't make enough money to suit him. Does not understand that it's not just about the money, it's also about my sanity. I homeschool our son and didn't work (haha) until he was 12 yrs. old. I believe alot of my anxiety is coming from the situation at home. Also, my guts have started that rumbling again and I am terrified of being sick again.
When the Crohn's was active I would sit on the toliet and be throwing up in a trash can. The pain was horrible, and the lack of understanding from my husband was even worse. To this day he doesn't seem to get it. Gets annoyed when I can't go out and do something with him in the morning. He is overall a good man, I just think he has a hard time understanding. He says things like "oh, I forget you can't go out in the morning" or "Your tough, you can handle it" or, my personal favorite "you look so good, I forget you don't feel good".
I do need to make my list of what to be thankful for. I do need to stop focusing on the negative; and start focusing on what is good in my life. There is alot to be grateful for, I just have allowed myself to spiral into this negative, anxious person. I will take your advise and starting today will make that list, and conscious effort to stay positive.
I here stories like yours and realize I am very fortunate! I am glad you and your girls are out of that horrible situation! Thanks for your prayers, can always use them!
Love and prayers to you too,
Barb, My Gi never mentioned that there was something that could allieviate the D. Then again I never asked! I will ask now...thanks so much!
Mark, you are so right, I think I will hire Marie-Claire as my therapist too! :) You are all right about focusing on the things we can change....although some days that is harder than others. Guess I just have to focus harder; I sure hope my tired brain can do that . You are probably also right about my husband, but you would think that by now he would be a little more understanding. We meet when we were both 20 and I had already been diagnosed with UC 8 years earlier. He has been through it all with me. Well, lets put it this way, when he had too, but when he could avoid me he certainly did. Maybe he's as tired of it as me, but he won't talk about it. He truely is one of "thick headed men" .
Thanks to all of you for your advice, I really am grateful to have found this site. It feels good to have others in the same situation to vent to; it's just too bad there are so many of us going through it.