I'm losing it (vent) (ot)

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songstress
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 4/27/2008 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry but I really have no where else to vent and need to get this out. So I separated from my husband back in November, while separated he cheated onme. I decided to try again in early February. While taking a trip to Baltimore recently he started treating me like crap again, I got suspicious and looked at phone records. He never stopped talking to her. All the lies and promises for nothing! I am so sick and he leaves me/abandons me for some cokehead who (not that this matters whatsoever) doesnt even compare to half of me. Im better looking (no Im no gods gift) Im better everything and he is no brad pitt but god why does it HURT SOOO BAD. I am already sick and this stress and pain is too much to bear. I am hurting so bad and I wish I could stop thinking about it. And I know I shouldnt do this but that witch post their entire everyday activities on Myspace. Today she wrote....all that talk and he ended up with me.  Why ??? he was my husband and we have a child. I know this is off topic but it relates in that "how can I get control of my disease if I cant get control of these emotions?" can anyone give me advice on how to stop hurting? how to not want to send a million text messages about HOW he hurt me? how to stop this stressing...I feel so numb!

Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength

Diagnosed with severe Crohn's colitis in May 2005. I deal with daily arthritis ALL over my body, cystic acne, & fibromyaglia. Have taken Imuran, Remicade, TPN, Colozal, Entocort, Flagyl, PamineForte, Cipro, Dicyclomine, Prednisone, Asacol, Prevacid, and the list goes on. Currently on Remicade every 4wks, 20mg Pred, Asacol, 75mg Imuran, etc.


Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 4/27/2008 7:20 AM (GMT -7)   
So sorry you have to deal with this. I cant help with the cheating part but I do know what its like to have a very painful experience eat at you. The truth is, no matter how or what you do you can not change what has happened. You also can not change someone else. You only have control of one thing, and that is, what you do. Dont beat yourself up about what is past. Decide where your life needs to go and do what you need to do to get there. Will that be easy. No. You do one hour, one minute at a time. When bad thoughts come, you have to make yourself think of something productive. You deserve to be happy. Remind yourself of that ever time you need to. One more thing. Dont fall into the trap of thinking someone else can make you happy. You must make yourself happy, then you can look for someone to share that happiness with. Hope you can get beyond this stress because stress is something that crohnes does not deal well with. Feel free to vent here any time.
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


Pooie1981
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 274
   Posted 4/27/2008 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
The last thing you want to do is send him lots of texts... don't let him know how much you are still hurting... if you can move on.. or at least pretend to move on... go out with friends, etc... this will bother and/or make him think MORE than your texts.

And yes.. try not to stress and keep posting if you feel it helps...
Ulcerative Colitis Diagnosed May 2004
Sulfasalazine 500MG 4 times per day
Prednisone 5MG 3 per day for next 10 days
Daily Vitamin for Women and Folic Acid


songstress
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 4/27/2008 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   
thank u both...its hard I admit to not text him..but I wont, I wont because he doesnt deserve to know how much it hurts me. He doesnt deserve to know how much pain I feel. Plus I think someone like that doesnt have a heart to feel anyways. I need to focus on other things, true, its hard I admit..its hard but I will survive. I know God doesnt give u more than u can bear. I just wish he would let the sunshine on me a little more.

Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength

Diagnosed with severe Crohn's colitis in May 2005. I deal with daily arthritis ALL over my body, cystic acne, & fibromyaglia. Have taken Imuran, Remicade, TPN, Colozal, Entocort, Flagyl, PamineForte, Cipro, Dicyclomine, Prednisone, Asacol, Prevacid, and the list goes on. Currently on Remicade every 4wks, 20mg Pred, Asacol, 75mg Imuran, etc.


dunny2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 4/27/2008 8:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Songstress, I went through this several years ago. I've heard the promises, lived with verbal, and some physical abuse.
So I DO understand what's happening to you. The only advice I can offer, is that you've got to be strong enough to stay
away from this relationship, away from anything remotely linked to it. All that's doing is breaking your heart.

You say you're a better person than her. So now prove it, not to her or him, but to yourself. You are worth more. Self worth
and confidence takes a big beating, when you're cheated on. BUT please remember, it's his fault not your's. It has nothing
to do with how you look, how sick you are, it's him. Guaranteed, he'll cheat on this one two.

For awhile, while you heal (you will get better trust me) put yourself into your child, if you can, surround yourself with caring friends
or relations. Try to stay busy, so your thoughts dont wonder. Most of all believe in yourself!!

I divorced my ex 17 years ago, I've been remarried for 16 of them,to a man I can trust completely, and believe me he had a huge
brick wall to knock down with me, but trust does return slowly.

One more thing I was 40 when all this happened, so if I can do it, you can. Sweetie, I know it hurts, but it will get better, PLEASE
believe that. There's only one way left to go now and that's up .

I'll be thinking of you .....
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with pancreatitis

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts


songstress
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 4/27/2008 8:52 AM (GMT -7)   
oh Vicky thank u..thank u so much. I guess the worst part is that I married this man cuz I had been cheated on in the past and thought he WOULD NEVER do this to me...boy was I wrong and u are so right about the self esteem. I have none. I should, I have everything to be glad for except for this. Its hard to stay strong and put focus into everything else ....it seems when u go through pain like this, it drains ur energy and zaps ur thoughts into some other world of self loathing and anger. I dont want to be vengeful or hateful like him. I try to tell myself, she isnt winning any big prize but its my husband and I feel rejected and stomped on. I feel like we got together before I got sick and my illness among other things made me this boring sick person.
why can others move on so fast while we are left to sit in pain and memories and pick up the pieces, its not fair. I want to believe that what goes around comes around...but does it really for people like him? How come Im the one left with the stormclouds?

I hold out hope that my happiness will return and this will the best thing that has ever hapened to me. I sure hope so!

Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength

Diagnosed with severe Crohn's colitis in May 2005. I deal with daily arthritis ALL over my body, cystic acne, & fibromyaglia. Have taken Imuran, Remicade, TPN, Colozal, Entocort, Flagyl, PamineForte, Cipro, Dicyclomine, Prednisone, Asacol, Prevacid, and the list goes on. Currently on Remicade every 4wks, 20mg Pred, Asacol, 75mg Imuran, etc.


dunny2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 4/27/2008 9:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Good girl. your last sentence says it all.

I know it zaps your energy, because you're putting so much into thinking about "I wonder why, & why me).

You have so many diseases to cope with, that I admire that you are able to function at all. Having said that I don't
think that drove him away. When a relationship is strong it should stand the test of time & that includes illness. I
wasn't too sick when I met my present husband. So he has had to go through it with me. Yes it does put a strain
on it sometimes, but with get through it together.

Some people may appear to move on quicker than others, but do they really? I think we all need to go through
a grieving period, and thats what you need. Some good old fashion time out. I hope you find the people to help.

God bless hun.....
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with pancreatitis

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 4/27/2008 9:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Didn't have time to read all the messages but STOP LOOKING AT HER MYSPACE. She is trying to hurt you and only you can let her by looking. Do yourself a favor and DONT LOOK. Unfriend him if you have to. Make your page private so she can't look at it.
26 Year old married female law student.  Diagnosed w/ CD 3 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD.  I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid.  For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn.  I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13.  I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium.  Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night.  I alos take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.
 
 


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 4/27/2008 10:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I have to agree with what everyone else has said here. I want to assure you that you are not alone.
Forum Co-moderator
We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants)
Praise in public, chew in private.
Make sure your suffering has meaning....
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...


FallColors
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1220
   Posted 4/27/2008 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Songstress,

So many people have been through what you are going through! Please strive to put it into perspective. He choose to break his marriage vows. He choose to betray you. Any man who would do this is now not worth your time! You are free of him in every sense. Be happy you are free! Don't try to stay connected to such a toxic man. Trying to check up on him, comparing yourself with her, etc., is not worth your time or energy, even though the urge to do so is strong. Who cares what either of them says. Don't swim in such filth. You are so much better than that! Divorce him quickly for your sake and the sake of your child.

I hope you have friends and family who can help support you. Lean on them! You will get strong and be so much the better off! Really! I went through a different situation, but still painful. The experience ultimately gave me strength and street-smarts, and I am happy I have that. Although I wish there had been a different way to obtain it!

Take care of yourself!
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