Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 5/7/2008 7:58:21 PM (GMT-6)
In His Grip
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"
Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum
UCTD, Inflammatory Arthritis, Diverticulosis, (recent dx - Sjogrens, Crohn’s 4/08)
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We have the opposite problem here: my husband is the one who is going through all the feelings that you are going through, and he is also the patient. We are about the same age.
Our nightmare started over one year ago: the day of our 20th wedding anniversary (3/7/07) if you can imagine anything worse than that! It took until November to get a dx of crohn's, and we are still struggling to get the mix of meds that works. My hubby suffers excruciating pelvic pain, that is more bothersome than the crohn's actually. He does have an anal fistula, but it's the pain in pelvic area that gets him the most. He has had every test imaginable and they are all "normal". He is the most miserable "normal" person I know.
He is the one who is in depair many days and can't see any kind of future. I am the one who is always trying to be up-beat. We have 2 children, and he is a stay-at-home-Dad (we thank God for that--he never would have been able to keep a job this past year!
I don't really know what I am trying to say....
I come here and read every single day; I find such inspiration in the people's stories here!
Anyway, I hope that you soon find the peace that you need; and I hope that your husband soon begins to feel better.
It seems this post has really touched an emotional chord. I started to skim it last night, but I didn't really have a lot of time, I can't believe how big its gotten!
I did want to add that as someone who showed signs before I got married, but wasn't diagnosed until around our 3rd anniversary I always felt a bit guilty. Like I had trapped my husband into marriage to a sick woman. Then he started working with a girl who had CD and couldn't seem to find a boyfriend who would stick around. That got us talking and I finally asked the dreaded question, "Would you have married me if you had known that I had CD?"
The man can't lie to save his life, so he said "no, BUT, it would have been the biggest mistake of my life."
So, our life hasn't always been easy, but I know he's in it for the long haul and that no matter what we'll get through it. To this day, it probably is the sweetest thing he could ever have said to me.
PV, things will get better. Thats how this disease works, flares come and go and it just takes time. It is the rare CDer who doesn't get some relief and live a somewhat normal life inbetween flares. But, you need to do whatever you need to do to take care of you as well. Remember, you can't take care of others if you are run down. Please take care of yourself too!