Another mental aspect - things you want vs. what others want

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FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 5/7/2008 7:59 PM (GMT -7)   
I have noticed an interesting phenomenon.  When I want to do something, and just do it, I rarely get sick.  I will go way out into the country to take photographs, walk my dog for miles, go on a sailboat ride, etc.  I am fine.  But if someone asks me to go sailing with them my anxiety kicks into high gear and I start to worry about all the what ifs.  If I go, I inevitably end up sick.  I know when I go on self excursions there is less anticipatory anxiety and I am less worried because no one is there to see whatever happens.  That was the first thing my therapist helped me with.  I stopped caring what happened to me if I was alone.  Maybe the times I get sick alone vanish from my memory while the ones that resulted in embarassment stay engrained in my psyche?  Does anyone else have this problem?
 
It is hard to tell a friend that I am not sure if we can go hiking when the day before I hiked miles w/ just my dog.  It is really strange.  I am thinking about volunteering at a seal rescue and there is a day long training coming up.  I never worried what the bathrooms would be like there.  But, at my last job, as soon as I found out there was an all day training, I started freaking out about everyone in my class seeing how many times I got up to use the bathroom.  Why do I care so much in some situations and when I am doing something just for me I don't care at all?
 
Ideas?


26 Year old married female law student.  Diagnosed w/ CD 3 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD.  I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid.  For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn.  I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13.  I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium.  Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night.  I alos take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.
 
 


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 5/7/2008 8:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I am thinking maybe I have control issues. In the volunteer scenario I don't have to be there and can always just leave. At work I don't have that option. Maybe thats why?
26 Year old married female law student.  Diagnosed w/ CD 3 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD.  I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid.  For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn.  I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13.  I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium.  Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night.  I alos take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.
 
 


nursetiff
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 33
   Posted 5/7/2008 8:08 PM (GMT -7)   
I used to be that way ALL the time, especially when we would go out to eat somewhere that I wasn't familiar with the menu! But more and more I have the attitude of **** it, who cares what people think, yeah...i have diarrhea, so what??? I think being a nurse helps, because we are all so comfortable talking about gross things like poop everyday. But when it really comes down to it, do you really care what people think???? probably not!

diagnosed with Crohn's 2/2007. Small bowel resection 4/2007 d/t abcess, perforation.
Currently on Remicade, Pentasa 1000mg 3xday.


Crohn'snme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 734
   Posted 5/7/2008 8:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Totally understand where you are coming from. If I'm doing something and I'm in charge or alone, no one will know that I'm running to the restroom. If I volunteer or have a planned event people will know if I'm running to the restroom. We are all human I think it's a normal feeling to have anxiety over these type of situations. It's embarassing as much as it shouldn't be, it's not our fault?

broomhilda
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1488
   Posted 5/7/2008 8:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Fitzy- Hence my apprehension of jury duty! It's really ridiculous! I don't care who knows about my CD. When I do anything that requires self absorbed concentration that allows me that time of NOT thinking about going to the bathroom constantly....is the very time, most of the time that I am fine. But put me in a situation such as jury duty when someone else has control, i.e.; judge...I guarantee you I'll have a major flare. Yes, I'm a control freak and I intend on controlling this disease the rest of my life in any form or manner it requires....I'm also very stubborn and don't like things to "kick my butt"! Welcome to my castle!
Dx'd Jan'06, 1st Resection 7/06, Predinsone, Humira, Imuran, B12 injections, Nexium. Secondary conditions: Psorasis, Acne, Fatigue, Joint Pain, Lactose Intolerant, gallstones, fibroid cysts, peri-menopausal.


Bane
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 589
   Posted 5/7/2008 11:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I deal with this by making it known that I have Crohn's. Most people either just nod and pretend they know what Crohn's is or ask about it. I make sure they know its painful, to say the least. I take an almost confrontational attitude about it. kind of a "I have Crohn's. Deal with it or shut up." thing, i guess.
20, Male, diagnosed over Christmas Break of my Junior year in High School. BEST CHRISTMAS EVAR LOL

(not really)


Sarita
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2486
   Posted 5/8/2008 12:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Fitz, I admire your insight about yourself. That is awesome, and most people don't have it to the extent that you seem to. You rock my world even more now! Like that was even ever possible!
Co-moderator - IBS Forum

Please always remember to consult your medical professional regarding your medical questions; this forum is intended to provide patient-to-patient support. Although some of us have healthcare backgrounds, we cannot diagnose or treat patients on the board.


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 5/8/2008 10:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Bane - I deal the same way but that doesn't stop me from getting sick more often when I am at something I have to be at as opposed to something I decided to do on my own, even if it is with other people there.

Thanks Sarita! We are getting to the home stretch right? I have one last exam Monday but a batchelorette party for a very close friend on Saturday.
26 Year old married female law student.  Diagnosed w/ CD 3 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD.  I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid.  For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn.  I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13.  I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium.  Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night.  I alos take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.
 
 


pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 5/8/2008 10:59 AM (GMT -7)   
This has happend to me on occassion as well, it's as if your sixth sense kicks in letting you know (making you feel) as though when you decide you want to go do something then chances are things will go well, BUT when others put the idea/expectation on you then it's like a minature shock to your routine and a little panic sets in, kinda like fear of the unexpected or something...definitely a control thing even if it's not meant to be.

I used to often do things spontaneously, that's one of the aspects that frustrates me the most within myself, because CD has pretty much taken that from me...like it has for most of us.

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it!  LOL  :)


Chronicallyill
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 195
   Posted 5/8/2008 1:02 PM (GMT -7)   

I never thought other people felt like this. I always thought I was going insane with fear. Anytime I knew, a month or so in advance, I would start to get sick before I even got where we were going because the thought of traveling bothered me so much. Having to worry about bathrooms and food. I can barely eat anything, i have to many sensitivites making eating out a real hassle. I know there are ways around that, like packing a cooler, but I'm usually too tired to take the effort to do anything for myself.

 


Age:22/6"1'/138lb - Diagnosed: 2001 @ age 15 now 22
First time mom as of March 8th 2008
Past drugs: Pentasa, Flagyl, Budesonide, Prednisone, tons of Antibiotics, Didrocal
Past herbal remedies and vitamins:Probiotics, Omega 3&6, Prenatal vitamins, B12, Calcium, iron, vit C, vit D, vit E, Selenium, mineral drops
Current drugs: Valtrex, Warfarin, Prednisone :(, 6mp :( NOT WORKING
Problems:Fissure and Tags on rectum, blood clots, ChronicUTI's, Osteopenia, Ulcers in my decending Colon
No surgeries....yet. Gone through 5 G.I.'s
Procedures: 3 colonoscopies, 1 upper endoscopy, 2 barium swallows, 1 biopsy of the fissure and tag (chron's affected)


gumby44
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4101
   Posted 5/8/2008 2:36 PM (GMT -7)   
For me, I know that if I'm doing somethng alone, and change my plans because I'm ill, I'm not disappointing anyone, and like you, I do tend to be less sick when I'm on my own timetable.  there are things that I want to volunteer for, and I keep avoiding them, because I get so anxious about being sick.  I wish I had some good advice, but I just wanted to say that I'm right there with ya! good luck on exams!

49 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in small intestine and terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Also have IBS, and had Salmonella Dec. '07
currently taking Pentasa- 8 250mg pills per day, Cipro 1 week/month, Metamucil, probiotics


Crohn'snme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 734
   Posted 5/8/2008 8:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Stress is a huge issue here. I agree if I'm in control, I'm okay. If someone needs to rely on me, it's bad. What's with that? I think the fear of not being able to stand up and give people what they need is strong. Working for myself has helped in this matter.
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