Hi everyone..its always 911..I have not been on in a really long time, I have been very sick, and then I fell down my stairs and broke my foot and then 2 weeks after the 6 weeks on the crutches and the boot I fell down again and broke the other foot. I dont have much support so I was still driving and having to take care of myself and it has been real hard, no one in my family wants to lend a hand and I have no idea what happened to my friends.
If you dont mind I am crying so hard right now can I please just let this out? If you dont want to read it thats cool, some people dont want to be brought down, they have enough in their own lives. I get that and I am cool with it. Just skip over me. But I have to be one of the lonliest, depressed people out there.
I do what all my doctors advise me to do. Like go to a pain management doctor who I thought at first was going to work out real good until I met him face to face. Then I went back to him a couple times and then that was it. I was seeing him for taking the pain killer Dilaudid. I know I know.... Save your fingertips..I cant get off it either I know all about
it. My Crohns doctor didnt know what else to give me, honestly I beleive that, I have been sick for 24 years now with Crohns Disease and sometimes you just run out of options or you start all over again.
Well I thought I was going to be okay just this past week after seeing him again cause we decided to try a low dose of Fentanyl and then start to slowly come down off the dilaudid. (The pain management doctor I was seeing told me I needed to see an addictologist, and I told him he needed to see an additionologist, He was reporting me for taking to much dilaudid when he was adding up 4 mg pills when I was only taking 2 mg pills.) Yes I have such faith in the system right now. I'm sorry. Anyway the 50 mg of Fentanyl along with the Dilaudid brought me down from taking 2 in the am 2 in the afternoon 2 at dinner time and 2 at bedtime, it brought me down to taking the morning the dinner time and the late late bedtime, cause I noticed I don't go to bed till late and that brings on break through pain. So in one week I went from 8 pills a day to 6 pills a day. To some that may not seem like a lot but to me it was a start. So then he raised then fentanyl to 100 mg instead of 50 to see if I could come down more, I was doing alright but starting to feel a bit nauseous, but he upped it to 200 mg anyway, I thought that was a little dangerous along with the dilaudid but he said I should be taking less dilaudid since I am taking more fentanyl, not true entirely if you cant handle the big dose of fentanyl and I couldnt, so I called him and I had no more 50 mg patches left.
So he sent me to a couple of other kinds of doctors to rule out some other things, RA, Lupus, another pain specialist, a blood doctor cause of too much bruising, etc...
Well heres my question for ya'll... Who can give me the best info out there on Humira? This RA doctor I went to today wants to start me on that, the kind you inject yourself cause I have no more veins left, gone and I mean gone. What I did read in the info she gave me is that it can cause TB, lymphoma, infections, reduces your immune system way down, has dye in it which I am allergic to any dye that they try to use for an MRI, Cat Scan, or anything that requires IVP dye to be used. And of course there was more but I'm sure you know more than I do on some of this.
Plus I (sorry guys close your eyes, this is for the ladies) they want me to get a double mammogram. Now I know that is good but why have I been asking for that for the longest time when I was smaller but now that I am a 38DDD they want to try and test these bad dogs? They are going to be barking alright. And I am going to be crying.
My daughter and I have just moved into a condo which she seems like she never wants to be with me, she is always gone, I miss her so much, its been her and i for so long and now I am lost. I know that is selfish but now she is being so mean and saying such terrible hurtful mean things. Its sad. I can barely make the bills, we receive no help except my disability which took three years to get. I ask my family and they say no we dont have it. You woudnt believe me if I told you how much my sister makes. And she cant help at all she says. Oh boy, I better stop.
But PLEASE ANY INFO ON THIS HUMIRA positive or negative i need to have all my facts before I make a decision like that right? My gut is screaming nooooooooooo, cause I know how sensitive I am to all medicine. I do hope some of you are doing better than I am, and from the last that I can remember reading.
Please give a hand out so I can grab onto it, we all need to do that you know. Set up a time and a day and all be on at the same time and close our eyes and silently imagine we are all holding hands. Keeping each other together, new Crohnies, as well as the Veteran Crohnies........:)
Post edited only to make paragraphs for easier reading :)
Post Edited By Moderator (AlwaysRosie) : 5/15/2008 2:10:48 PM (GMT-6)