children and crohns

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becellea74
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 6/4/2008 3:26 AM (GMT -7)   
 Iam looking for advice my 7yr old son has had to put up with alot when it comes to my illnesses ,i think it has affected him in ways like he is petrified of doctors dentists and is very within himself to the point somtimes people must think he is rood,I dont want him growing up thinking this is his problam too. I get so frustrated when i want to take him places but i am to sick to go i want to be happy and run around with him but i cant most times,could my unhappyness and depression be rubbing of on him. mad

Crohn's 4 ever
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 207
   Posted 6/4/2008 6:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey there, I fully understand what you are going through. My daughter now 20, was 4 at the time when I was going through hell and back, in hospitals alot, for a week at a time, and was on the couch most of the time. She was a really good little girl, didnt get into things and played well by herself, being an only child she did remarkably well. However, years down the road, she told me she was scared, because she thought I was dying. At 2 years old, my step father and grandmother both died in hospitals and she previously visited them both. I didnt think she rememebered at that young age, but she did. Now is she is 20 and has told me her life was partially paralized because she lived the disease with me. I never knew how much it affected her, now she asks once in a while how I am, but I think she is still worried I still may not be well even though I tell her I am fine. She wants to go go go and I think it is cause she was limited as a child, but she never blamed me for her childhood. I cant imagine what kids think, has to be a nightmare. Good luck, hang in there.

RedAdmin
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2003
Total Posts : 1017
   Posted 6/4/2008 6:37 AM (GMT -7)   
I know that it has been recommended that my daughter go to a therapist. They need to talk to someone other than a family member to be able to get out their feelings and they do not want to put more on you, but they need a safe place to talk. If you cannot get a therapist then sometimes a good pastor would be an answer. They need a safe place to say how scared they are. My daughter is dealing with 2 parents that are not well. So long as I keep doing well she has one of us to hold on to. But I know she is terrified one of us will die. I also know that she does not want to talk to either of us about her feelings because she sees us being strong and wants to be strong too.

My pedi did tell us to stop protecting her so much and to be as honest as we could be. Regarding my husband - who is the sicker of the two of us - she said to tell my daughter things like - daddy is doing as well as he can today. But to stop trying to hide it because it scares her more because she can imagine more than what is really happening and that is worse. So she does better now and we are a little more open with her about him. Me we just make fun of the passing of gas.

Good luck. We are always here to listen.
Red (Lee Ann)
 Happy Bunny 
      When life gives you lemons, squirt juice in your enemy's eyes.


Crohn's 4 ever
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 207
   Posted 6/4/2008 9:11 AM (GMT -7)   
RedAdmin said...
I know that it has been recommended that my daughter go to a therapist. They need to talk to someone other than a family member to be able to get out their feelings and they do not want to put more on you, but they need a safe place to talk. If you cannot get a therapist then sometimes a good pastor would be an answer. They need a safe place to say how scared they are. My daughter is dealing with 2 parents that are not well. So long as I keep doing well she has one of us to hold on to. But I know she is terrified one of us will die. I also know that she does not want to talk to either of us about her feelings because she sees us being strong and wants to be strong too.

My pedi did tell us to stop protecting her so much and to be as honest as we could be. Regarding my husband - who is the sicker of the two of us - she said to tell my daughter things like - daddy is doing as well as he can today. But to stop trying to hide it because it scares her more because she can imagine more than what is really happening and that is worse. So she does better now and we are a little more open with her about him. Me we just make fun of the passing of gas.

Good luck. We are always here to listen.
 
 

 I read your comment on both of your illness's, do both of you have crohns"   and if yes, are you not afraid she my have a higher risk of Crohns as well?
Hugs to you all.
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