my mom is dying and I'm in a flare!

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
30 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

gumby44
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4095
   Posted 7/23/2008 9:24 PM (GMT -7)   
My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer a couple of years ago. She did ok, but now it has metasized to her brain. She is in the hospital in Chicago area, and she has to decide whether to have surgery to remove the tumor, which will buy her more time, or let it go and begin hospice. Her ability to speak is impaired but I know she would not want to prolong things if she is going to suffer. I want to get on a plane tomorrow, but I'm not doing too well. I have been severely constipated and passing tons and tons of mucous and what looks like tissue. I have taken laxatives the past couple of days with little success. I don't think I have a blockage...no nausea and I have had a little stool, but I'm pretty miserable. I don't want to go if I will be sick and a burden, but I know she could really use my help. My Dad is 83 and he sounds overwhelmed. I don't know if I really want advice...I will see if I get worse or better tomorrow and then decide, but I could use advice on the constipation and maybe some hugs!
49 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in small intestine and terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Also have IBS, and had Salmonella Dec. '07
currently taking Pentasa- 4 500mg pills per day, Metamucil and colace for constipation


jacenta
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 47
   Posted 7/23/2008 9:31 PM (GMT -7)   
oh gumby i so feel for you! lots of hugs love!!!!!
god bless!!!!

LuckyStar01
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 54
   Posted 7/23/2008 9:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry about your Mom.

Maybe you will be do better tomorrow. Lets hope. I know the mucous stuff is terrible isn't it?

My thoughts are with you! Isn't there anything the Dr's can give you to stablilize you a bit better so you can go?

Best wishes I will be thinking about you.

lilturbo
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 298
   Posted 7/23/2008 9:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Gumby,

I will definitely keep you and your family in prayer. I think you should go, though I do understand how hard it can be traveling while sick. I know you are completely miserable being constipated but I think it will be harder on you and your fam by you not going. Just take everything you think you will need and things to make you as comfy as possible. You just don't want to have any regrets. Good Luck and please keep us informed! God Bless!

-Emma
turboemma.blogspot.com/


Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 7/23/2008 10:02 PM (GMT -7)   
I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. I hope you are doing better tomorrow... and are able to go be with your mom... I think if you were to decide not to go you may regret it later.

Am praying for you dear one, and your mom and dad. God be with you during this trying time... we often feel when things are at their worst that HE has abandoned us , but if we quiet our thoughts and spirits for a few minutes we can usually feel HIS loving Graces all around us... Maybe , once you get to your mom and are able to hold her in your arms... the two of you will give each other strength!

Loving thoughts and many prayers,
mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis
 
 


Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 7/23/2008 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
My hopes and prayers are with you and your family now and in the days to come..
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


smile1967
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 7/23/2008 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Gumby, I am so sorry about your mom. I really hope you can find the strength to travel, as the others said I wouldn't want you to regret anything.
I am thinking of you and your family.

Hugs,
Shelley
  • 41 yr old farmwife!! and mom of boys 11 and 9
  • resection surgery Feb. 2008
  • Pentasa, Entocort (when needed), citalopram,probiotic
 


closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 7/23/2008 10:14 PM (GMT -7)   
don't have anything to add...just wanted to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. *hugs*
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Too many meds to list!


pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 7/23/2008 10:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Gumby (((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Unfortunately I know exactly what you're going through...3 yrs ago this month on the 29th I lost my beloved father, he was in the hospital very sick with leukemia only I had no idea he would pass so suddenly and I was still pretty sick and did not have my van (which I bought right after so I could tend to his business and make it for his funeral) I bought the van so I could put one of those port-o-pots/camping toilets, in the back, it has come in very handy and although it's now become my security blanket at the same time it helped ease up my anxiety I developed...I couldn't bring myself to see my dad in the hospital before he died (even though I didn't know he was going to die) but I have felt the guilt ever since, thinking now that it would have been worth me soiling my pants a thousand times on the way to the hospital to see him alive one last time...anyways, sorry I'm rambling (still hurts immensely which I'll never get over), just wanted you to know I completely understand what you're going through right now and I want to offer you, your mom and your entire family my very best wishes for you all and to please find comfort in at least knowing your mom will no longer be suffering, it's what gets me through each day that I think about my dad, no more suffering.

again (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it!  LOL  :)


Jen77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2688
   Posted 7/23/2008 11:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so very sorry. (((HUGS))) I know I became quite ill with my first what I consider real flare, when my Grandma died. We were very close. Then my Mom moved out of state like a month later. Big events like that really shake up our health. So I just wanted to tell you to please take care of yourself too. If you get on the plane even, make sure and take care of you.

Wishing your family all the best, and your Mom is in my thoughts and prayers.
~Jennifer
 
Diagnosed with Crohn's Disease 2/06 after sever GI bleed. Has been suffering since 1998. History of rectal fistula and gallbladder removal. Currently taking Prednisone: tapering down from 10 mg again, Asacol, Questran, Toprol XL (for high blood pressure).


gumby44
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4095
   Posted 7/23/2008 11:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for all of the encouragement and support. I do feel I need to be there. My first suspicion that my mom wasn't thinking well was when she stopped asking me how I feel......I can't imagine my life without her! I'll let you know how it goes.
49 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in small intestine and terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Also have IBS, and had Salmonella Dec. '07
currently taking Pentasa- 4 500mg pills per day, Metamucil and colace for constipation


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 7/24/2008 12:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh, gumby. Here are even more hugs. What a horrible situation you're in.

I've been through this situation myself and have just gone through a series of grief support groups, and one common theme from the discussions there was how much harder it is to cope with the grieving process if you can't be there for the last stages of the person's life. I wish the very best for your mother and I truly hope that the end is further away than you think, but I think that, if the worst happens, you will be pleased that you were there, with your family.

*However*, you can only do what you're physically capable of doing. My mother's oncologist gave me some very good advice, and I'll share it with you: you cannot predict when someone will die, and you must not, *must* not, blame yourself if you cannot be there. Your family will know how unwell you are and how desperate you are to be there -- but your mother will not want you to put yourself in danger to get there. If you can't get there, please don't feel that you've let yourself, your family or your mother down. You've loved her your entire life; nothing you do in these final stages can change that.

I wonder if this whole situation might be easier for you if the decision can be taken out of your hands. Is there any way you could get in touch with your gi, explain the situation, and ask for an assessment of whether you're able to travel? Then, if he gives you the all-clear, you could discuss strategies to cope with your illness while you're away from home. And, if he says you can't travel, you'll know that it was a medical decision, and not something you should feel guilty about.

I'm so sorry, gumby. This sort of situation is a chronically-ill person's nightmare, and I'm so sad that you have to experience it.

*hug*

Ivy.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


randynoguts
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6049
   Posted 7/24/2008 1:19 AM (GMT -7)   
good thoughts coming your way!
randynoguts 



     http://www.geocities.com/randynogutsweb/


Julie1014
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 1245
   Posted 7/24/2008 2:31 AM (GMT -7)   
(((Gumby))) Sending big hugs and prayers your way.
Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (Pancolitis) 10/25/05
New Diagnosis of Crohn's March 2006
Asacol 3 pills three times a day
Remicade 10mg/kg every 4 weeks
Prednisone 12mg a day
Imuran just decreased to 50mg (because of Shingles)
Miralax as needed, Cortisone enemas as needed
Prevacid 30mg
Paxil 40mg daily (for Panic disorder)
Xanax .5mg as needed (for anxiety attacks)
 
 
 
 
 


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 7/24/2008 5:46 AM (GMT -7)   
(((((((((((((( Gumby + Mom + Dad )))))))))))))))

Hugs, prayers, and . . .

Blessings!

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum

UCTD, Inflammatory Arthritis, Diverticulosis, (recent dx - Sjogrens, Crohn’s 4/08)

Clickable Links:  Lupus Resources    Lupous.Org   Lupus Criteria (4 of 11)   Lupus Chapter Locator


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 7/24/2008 5:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I think Ivy's suggestion about talking to your doctor is great. Also, ask for an anti-anxiety med to aid in your travels. Obviously you will be anxious about your health if you do go and the anti-anxiety makes it more bareable. Also, it will lesson the normal stress one experiences during air travel. You will also want to call the airline directly to book. Tell them it is a medical emergency, family emergency, etc. Sometimes they will give discounts and they will get you on the soonest flight out. I have no experience with constipation but I would say look on the bright side, at least you won't have D in flight. But I have survived many a flight with D and I bet you could survive a flight with C too. When I am trying to debate going to work I usually tell myself I can be in pain and miserable at home or be in pain and miserable at work and get paid for it. Well if you are going to be in pain at home you might as well be in pain in a hotel room near your mom, right? To get through the flight I suggest getting some of those instant heating pads they sell for menstral cramps and use one of those on your belly. You could also wear a pad or an adult diaper to catch any mucus that you can't control. Tell the airline to seat you near the bathroom and then that is one less worry. I bet you can do this and will feel a lot better once you get there than you will at home. And if you don't feel better when you get there just take care of yourself in your hotel room. You were worried about being a burden. I don't think you would be a burden if you had your own place at all.
26 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


Sugarmarie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1205
   Posted 7/24/2008 6:27 AM (GMT -7)   
God bless
Confucius say : He who goes to bed with itchy butt wakes up with stinky finger.

Words of wisdom: Never trust a fart

:) Sugarmarie A.K.A. Poopy Pants :)


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 7/24/2008 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Gumby I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I pray you can find a way to go be with her. As for the C, have you tried Miralax or maybe even one of the C-scope preps to get things moving? I use stool softners daily when I have C to get things moving again.

Good luck and know you and your family are in my prayers.
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 7/24/2008 9:15 AM (GMT -7)   
gumby44 said...
I can't imagine my life without her!
I felt the same way when I lost my Dad. it has been hard but I am making it. He would not want me to stop living cause he is gone.
 
My suggestions is go to your GI and ask for what ever you need to get you to Chicago. be with your Mom. I did not get to be with my Dad when he died and I sure wish I could have been.
you would have the chance to be there with her and you can both help each other.
 
((((Big Hugs)))) I live in the Burbs of Chicago so let me know if you need to call someone.... I will be glad to talk with you.
 
Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 Started Humira June 2008 (have been on other cd meds)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Diagnosed w/ General Anxiety Disorder in 2005- Effexor and now new med Clonazepam starting 7/18/08

 


bentwistle
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 330
   Posted 7/24/2008 5:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Gumby, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I just wanted to let you know your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I just lost my mom in December, and I really miss her, but I also know she's not suffering any more. I was able to be there with her at the end, and I know in my heart that it was her time. I hope you too can make the journey to be there with your mom, but the advise that Ivy and others gave is very good if it turns out you can't be. Your mother knows you love her and would be there if you could. Speak to your doctor, to see if you're well enough to travel.

<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>

Bev

LBJ
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 7/24/2008 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry your going through all this. I hope you feel well enough to go see your mom. But please don't beat yourself up if you don't make it there!! She know you love her!
I lost my mom 7 years ago and still miss her. I was right there with her, she had a massive heart attack. My brother wasn't able
to be there as he lives in another state. But my mom knew that and understood that. They just know...
((((Hugs)))
Living with Crohn's Disease since Jan./2000 but had a few years prior
I'm a true Crohnie with IBS and Arthrities too
 
Meds I have tried:  Too many to list- LOL
Meds currently on:  Prednisone 20mg tapering
                           Methotrexate injections once a week 25mg
                           Folic Acid 5mg once a week
                           Wellbutrin
No Surgeries
 


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 7/24/2008 6:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Maybe a short course of pred. would help. I do know of someone who had the surgery and has done good. Of course your Mom is probably much older. Sure hope things settle down some for you so you can at least be there. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,and still alive.lol gail


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 7/25/2008 6:55 AM (GMT -7)   
How are you today? Have you spoken with your doc? Are you heading out or staying put?
26 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


Miss UK
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 128
   Posted 7/25/2008 9:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry too, you sound incredibly brave! lots of hugs from me

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 7/25/2008 2:47 PM (GMT -7)   
((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))
1. Call your doc (get whatever it takes to get you thru) (I do want to say you do need to get healthy enough to travel...)
2. Go see your Mom
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants) 
Make sure your suffering has meaning...-?
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 7/25/2008 3:55:15 PM (GMT-6)

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
30 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 03, 2016 12:51 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,182 posts in 300,998 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151161 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Geef.
238 Guest(s), 15 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
imagardener2, Matt_eire89, Tick41, Starlight*, Paxton, Todd1963, Huddie, DennisinNY, maria2016, jrpsf, Traveler, Blu's Mama, Tim Tam, k07, julymorning


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer