Rough day - need some hugs!

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FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 8/8/2008 2:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Today I had my MPRE which is a standardized professional responsibility exam for soon to be lawyers.  Its only a 2 hour test that begins at 12:30.  I figured I would have no problem with it but just to be sure I emailed the board to make sure bathroom breaks were allowed.  Although the clock would not be stopped they assured me that I would be allowed to use the restroom.  For that reason I didn't request accommodations.  To do so would be a long process with doctors forms and forms from disability services at school, etc. 
 
So I had a kind of stressful morning.  It is very stormy here and 2 of the roads to get to and from my house were flooded.  Some other roads were closed.  I worked the morning (and reviewed some).  As the exam approached I got a little nervous and a little poopy.  I took some hyosciamine and went to my exam.  I also had caffeinated tea in the morning which was probably a bad idea.  I thought the test was at a dumb time because it was right at lunch time.  I didn't want to eat right before but I also feel sick if I let myself get too hungry.  I would have been allowed food or water if I applied to be accommodated. So after I pull in I know Im going to have to poop so I pop an immodium.  I get to where the exam is and it is in a medium sized classroom in a random building on campus but completely on the other side of the floor from the bathroom.  I can hold it long enough to get there but that is just more time that I am out of the exam.  I start to feel my anxiety rise.
 
When I see the classroom the door is in the front and the seats go to the back of the room.  Since I worked I was in high heels.  I was worried about being in a seat where I would have to climb over people or make a scene to leave. I knew that we weren't allowed to pick seats and that they were assigned but I thought they would be assigned on the spot.  So I told the proctors that I use the restroom frequently and would prefer a front aisle seat.  They say "sorry they are already assigned, what's your name." I tell them and go figure.  I have the seat furthest in the back of the room, against the wall.  Awesome.  I ask if it can be moved.  Nope.  So I verify that I can leave to use the restroom.  They say yes but please try to keep your heels quiet when you leave.  Walk on your tip toes.  Yeah, right ok.  You would think since I contacted the agency to assure that I would be able to use the bathroom they would assign me an easy out seat.  No that would be too smart.
 
So anxiety creeps higher.  I am generally not one to care what others think of me.  But at the same time I don't want to disturb other people's exams.  And I was feeling so icky.  It is one thing to need a bathroom break or two.  Another thing to need 3 in 10 minutes or something like that. So the proctors were evil.  It is a timed exam and people seated on the opposite wall couldn't see the clock yet they refused to move it.
 
They pass out the exam and start having us fill in the basic name, date of birth, etc.  But they are going SO SLOW.  Everyone write your name... look up when you are done... don't skip ahead, blah blah blah.  So I really couldn't get up then because either everyone would have to wait for me or I would fall behind on the obvious instructions.  We get through the first 5 things to fill in and I HAVE TO GO.  So I just say fudge it, and I get up and walk out.  Didn't ask, didn't tell, just left.  When I came back they were apparently waiting for me.  Grand.  I made it through the rest of the instructions.  Finally we got the exam.  I just didn't know how I was going to do it.
 
I told myself to just go through it super quick and answer everything and then if I have time go through more carefully.  I ended up having to get up again about 20 minutes into the exam.  The proctor scowled at me and said "tip toes" I said "im trying" clink clink clink, I ended up taking my shoes off and running lol.  I ended up finishing the exam with almost an hour to spare but it was just so hard to concentrate at first when I was trying not to poop my pants. I got naseaus too.  Then my stomach started making these awful noises.  A cross between hunger and pending diarrhea.  We were in such close quarters.  I know the people in front of and behind me must have heard it.  And I see these people everyday when school is in session.
 
Its not like me to care much but this was just too much to handle.  I have been doing so well, why am I mess when it counts?
 
And my husband has been really sick with either IBS or a bug.  So even though he understands what its like he is having trouble being sympathetic because he has been working and feeling worse than me all week.  I had promised him I would clean the house tonight because he has friends coming tomorrow.  I am just not up to it.  He has done most of the cleaning which makes me feel worse because really he is sicker than me.
 
Oh well... and so it goes.  I'll let you know if I passed in 5 weeks or so.
 
 
26 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 8/8/2008 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Fitzy, you made the best out of a bad situation. It is all you can ever ask from someone, including yourself.


Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants) 
Make sure your suffering has meaning...-?
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 8/8/2008 3:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi When you gotta go you gotta go . I know the feeling of having to depend on the poop to stay put but sometimes the more we think about it the worse it gets. I bet the Imodium saved your butt so to speak. Cheer up you made it threw. Way to go sure hoping you know your stuff and pass with flying colors. Did you find it hard? lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,and still alive.lol gail


ImAud
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 8/8/2008 3:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Aww..that is such a sucky thing u had to go through! I feel ur pain tho! I will be taking my GREs in a few weeks, and then my psych GREs so i hope i get my CD under control before then...im sure u passed though! Feel better :)
21 year old Female
*\o/* active cheerleader/cheer coach, love working out, and a full time college student *\o/*
Diagnosed with CD August 2008
On Prednisone (for a month), Asacol, cansa (for 2 weeks), starting Remicade in 5 weeks


SydneyJo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1354
   Posted 8/8/2008 6:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Fitzy,
You should be really proud of yourself! Plus you survived the whole ordeal and I bet you pass with flying colours. Way to go! Jo

FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 8/8/2008 6:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks guys! Funny thing was, I just kept thinking... my healingwell crew is going to LOVE this one. Even my classmates (who know how much I go just from being in the same class as me all year) were shocked that I was put in the back, and had to stay there. At least I knew everyone felt bad for me as opposed to being annoyed with me. I'm sure I was very red when I came back and they had waited for me. Honestly though, you all are what got me through. I just kept thinking of all of you who totally understand and know what its like. I pretended you were all my classmates. Telling me to take deep breaths. Make the panic go away lol. Thanks guys!
26 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


LBJ
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 8/8/2008 6:59 PM (GMT -7)   
(((Hugs))) I can't imagine being in that situation but glad you made it through!! I'm sure you did just fine too!
Living with Crohn's Disease since Jan./2000 but had a few years prior
I'm a true Crohnie with IBS and Arthrities too
 
Meds I have tried:  Too many to list- LOL
Meds currently on:  Prednisone 15mg tapering
                           Methotrexate injections once a week 25mg
                           Folic Acid 5mg once a week
                           Wellbutrin twice a day
No Surgeries
 


broomhilda
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1488
   Posted 8/8/2008 8:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Pat yourself on the back! You made it through! I'll pray that you passed for the next 5 weeks with a flying "A", pun intended! After all you usually have D's right?! I think you are awesome to attempt such a career in the first place...I've chosen the "safe mode" employment for now.
Dx'd Jan'06, 1st Resection 7/06, Humira, Imuran, B12 injections, Nexium, Lexapro, Glucosamine, Multi-Vitamin, Ultracet Secondary conditions: Psorasis, Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Lactose Intolerant, gallstones, peri-menopausal.


Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 8/8/2008 11:04 PM (GMT -7)   
I went through something similar when I had to write my Provincial Registered Nursing exams.... It 's awful... but you got through it Fitz... and you are going to pass with flying colors. And don't worry about the house work.... if people are coming to your house to see your house... then they're not worth it... friends.. especially your friends should understand that you only have so many spoons in one day! Getting through that exam used up all your spoons. I'd try finding that spoon story here somewhere, sometime ago... print it, frame it.. and place it somewhere where everyone who comes through your house can't miss it.... or better still... make copies and distribute them as everyone comes in!!!!! Sorry, Outa spoons! Or post it on your door... no one enters before reading the spoon story. Luv Ya
Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.
 
 


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 8/9/2008 8:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Aw thanks. I was out of spoons yesterday. I'm not worried about the friends but they are people my husband hasn't seen in a long time and I understand just wanting the place to look nice. But he really has done almost all of the cleaning and asks me very nicely "do you think you can just clean your bathroom?" or "could you just finish whats left of the dishes?" etc. I went to bed around 12:30 and just woke up at 11:30. I think I recharged some. Too bad I slept through the only sun we have had all week.
26 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


randynoguts
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6049
   Posted 8/9/2008 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   
hmmm? being in a room full of lawyers and would-be lawyers made you nervous? go figure... but good for you anyway!
randynoguts 



     http://www.geocities.com/randynogutsweb/


bentwistle
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 330
   Posted 8/9/2008 2:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I know exactly how you felt! I had a similar experience a month ago and you described it to a tee! I hope you did really well on the test - I'll be anxious to hear!

You should be very proud of yourself for suceeding this far! You've used your spoons VERY well. And once you become a lawyer you can afford to lease a few spoons in the guise of a maid -lol.

As for the seating arrangement - shame on the organizers...if you went through the effort to email for rules on washroom access, obviously you need to go frequently! - you'd think they'd have placed you close to the door (I sometimes question the brains and/or motivations of some of the test organizers)

Bev

livinwithcrohns
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 8/9/2008 3:49 PM (GMT -7)   

Glad you made it through it. I agree, shame on the orgaizers for not being more understanding. I think if they knew what it was like to know you have to go NOW, they would be a little more understanding. I have had that same experience when taking the excet tests for teaching certifications.

 


living with CD since 1989
38 years old, too many meds too list
two surgeries with re-sections
 


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 8/9/2008 5:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh, Fitzy. *hug* I do agree with Jo, though - you should be proud of yourself for being brave enough to put yourself in that situation, and for coming through it.

I hope you feel better soon.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 8/10/2008 9:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Bent - I figured out in retrospect that we were seating alphabetically. In the future I will ask more specifically about what I need or actually file for accommodations.
26 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


bentwistle
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 330
   Posted 8/11/2008 3:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Too bad your name didn't start with an "A" . But I still feel if you took the initiative to contact them, they should have made some accomodations! I hate having to jump through hoops and have to apply for special treatment. My company is the same way. You have to request special accomodations before the test and then you write it separately. That's OK, but I hate having to label myself disabled or requiring special arrangements. I just want to write a test and be able to go to the washroom when needed. The last test I wrote they made over 150 of us use one bathroom. If you had to go, you had to proceed before the test...yeah right! The lineup was 2 hours long!! I was so worried about having an accident, I could hardly concentrate. The monitor said that I should have applied for accomodations. She tells me this as I'm in the exam room. Too late!!

I'll know better next time. I'm just afraid I'll be screened out of competitions if they get wind of a chronic disease! Should you confess to a problem or not? Especially for external competitions.

inflamed
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1340
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Fitzy, don't worry. I am positive you passed the MPRE. Don't feel bad about leaving or your heels making noise. You finished an hour early and many others did too. The distraction wouldn't make a difference. It really is nuts how difficult they make it to get accommodations. I guess it just shows that even if you don't need the accommodations it is worth getting them just for peace of mind and a reduction of stress.

Don't worry too much about the cleaning. Do only what you can, and just let your husband know that you appreciate all he's done while not feeling well. You've both got a lot going on now, so cut yourself some slack.
Currently in remission!


closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:43 PM (GMT -7)   
*hugs* just caught this thread now. sorry you had such a rough time. like many of the others I believe you passed with flying colors. you did your best...that's all you can do. my boyfriend usually does most of the cleaning too because I feel so sick all the time. he works and goes to school full time so I definitely know the guilt that goes along with it. I'm sure your hubby understands though.
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!

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