Wow... I can relate. Next Monday is my CT and the gallons (or so it seems) of stuff is horrid. Last time it went right through me also! It was horrible!
Anyway, about the Cimzia... All of the drugs beyond the ASA-5 types are pretty scary. But, the disease is scary too. So, weighing the odds and quality of life is what is important. You can try Cimzia -- if it doesn't work, or feel worth it, you can stop Cimzia.
I am actually considering taking a "drug holiday" from Tysabri. Maybe try Cimzia. it's all bad. But, we have to live our lives and the disease will prevent that if we don't keep it in check. Steroids, over time, are worse then the other immune modulators (or so I believe and have been told by a few doctors).
Maybe you can just take one step at a time and see how it goes. If Cimzia helps you, I bet you will settle into the idea of being on it. It's pretty amazing what having your life returned to you will allow you to accept... Best of luck.
--40 year old female, dx as UC in '04 (1st symptoms in '03), switched to Crohn's in '05, 1 fistula, crohn's colitis, limited to large intestine
--rejected (reaction/didn't work): Asacol, AZA, 6-MP, MTX, Remicade, Humira, prednisone
--methylpred - finally off 6/15/08, tried Prochymal in Phase III study (can't wait til it's approved!)
--started Tysabri 3/21/08
--single mom to 10-yr-old girl