I gotta reply because I think about the same things, and I think my best friend (opposite sex) is starting to drift away on purpose because she doesn't like seeing me in pain and really doesn't understand why 'they' just can't take it out and 'cure' me. Since she was my girlfriend in the past, and I still love her dearly and would love to date again and possibly more, I think this disease of ours is getting in the way, unless I completely control it on my own and don't talk about it much.
I empathize with your dilemma and wants and needs, micha. I wish you the best and hope you find the one you love and will accept all of you, as is.
P.S. - location? I live in Phoenix, Arizona.