Getting married in 3 weeks...need survival tips

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kam#7
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 10/6/2008 7:59 PM (GMT -7)   
I am getting married to the love of my life in less than 3 weeks - Yipppeeee

Unfortunately, even good stress is stress and I have been flaring like crazy. We moved into a house in April and ever since then, I have been dealing with this dd.

At any rate, I should point out that I am the "anti-bridzilla"....I am soooooo not into the whole wedding planning thing. I literally just picked out flowers a few days ago - and it took me about 10 minutes. I am one of those women who is thrillled about the marriage - not the wedding. If I was not the youngest of 7 and my finace was not an only child - both from irish catholic families, we would have eloped.

My question for all of you is....what did you do to calm yourself in the days leading up to the wedding? And, what did you do on the day of the wedding to ensure that health was not an issue?

I have been joking with my fiance that his bride might need to wear a diaper!

I have this fear that I will get sick on the day of the wedding and not make it through the ceremony. I know, I know I am being irrational, BUT I am one of those type A personalites that are prone to panick attacks and bring on fears that are not based in reality.

The good news is that my AA sponsor and my doc approved taking Ativan to get me though the next few weeks and the wedding day....just knowing that I have the pills brings me relief.

Sorry for the rambling - I am just nervous and I could use some reassuring words :-)
35 year old female - Diagnosed w/Crohn's 2002 - Surgery 2004

Currently taking: Pentasa, Entocort, Imuran, Immodium, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Seroquel


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 10/6/2008 8:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok. I am here bearing reassurrance. I had the SAME worries as you leading up to my wedding. Not nervous about marriage, nervous about getting through a Catholic ceremony, on the altar, for an hour, etc. First, I picked really short reading and songs to kind of speed things up a bit. Second, I got up early, ate just a little something. Pooped some while at the hairdressers.  I actually had to have her stop doing my hair so I could go. Then I popped back some immodium. After I got home and started getting ready I stopped drinking anything. With my panic attacks i have to pee really bad too. So, per my male bridesmaid, I was put on liquid restriction and could only suck on an occasional ice chip to deal with mouth dryness. Now here is where the story gets strange -

I had voiced my fears to my coworkers and one guy was like look, trust me, you will be so wrapped up in the day you will forget all about your stomach. Now this really ticked me off. Crohns is a disease and not in my head you jerk... have you ever had a stomach flu? Could you forget it no matter how hard you tried? But here is the weird thing, he was right. I still had my nervous panicky feeling in the limo riding to the church. We got there early and had to sit for about 10 minutes in the limo. I started getting nervous wondering how I would make it through with my giant dress on that would make using the bathroom a HUGE ordeal. But as soon as I got out of that car and walked into the church I honest to God forgot about my stomach until after the ceremony, after the reception, and after the limo ride to the hotel!! I would never have believed in a million years that it could be possible but I did, and I am going to wager to bet that once that ceremony starts you too will feel like a million bucks.

Now as far as dealing with the anticipatory anxiety. Most of my friends and family and husbands friends and family new I was newly diagnosed. That helped a bit because if I bolted from the altar they would know why. I spoke about it with my priest and we had contingency plans. If I got to a part in the ceremony where I needed a break I would just walk to the bathroom off to the side as if it was part of the ceremony and the organist/singer would do a song until I got back. You should speak with your crew and see if you could arrange this safety net too. If you love your bridesmaid enough maybe she could join you in your pooping session to make sure you get everything put back together right and keep it out of the toilet. I never needed the backup plan but it felt so good to know it was there.

Seriously, I am a girl that pees at least twice an hour and at that point was pooping 5 times a day. After my immodium I didn't poop again and I think I honestly peed once between the time I got the dress on and the time the dress came off. I wish you the same luck I had and trust me, I didn't think it was possible.


26 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


Lauren027
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/6/2008 10:09 PM (GMT -7)   

Congrats on the wedding!! I have been there too.  I got married at 23 (5 years ago) and it was 3 months after my symptoms started and no one really knew what I was going through as far as family and friends.  I too had to stop 3 times on the drive to the church because of the stress getting to my stomach.  One thing that helped was touring the church or wedding site ahead of time and finding a private bathroom if possible.  I found one and we labeled it for the bride and everyone thought it was just where I was slipping the dress on so it was embarrassing or anything, but it was good to have.  I know stress is a trigger, but once you start walking down the isle so much adrenaline kicks in that my stomach was just fine.  I made it though wonderfully.  I had a code word with my made of honor when I needed help to the bathroom at the reception, and although I had to sit down a few times I never needed to use it. My husband was go great about the whole ordeal that it reminded me even more why I picked him.  I don't know if you can take narcotics or even if you would want to on that day, but because of the constipating element they help me out a lot getting though important events and I have a prescription, but I know many can not take them.  Good luck on your big day, and I have faith that that adrenaline will kick in for you and get you though it with your mind on your man, not on your stomach turn .


HabsHockeyFan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 3130
   Posted 10/7/2008 5:23 AM (GMT -7)   

Kam congratulations on the coming wonderful event!  I got married almost 4 years ago.  Like you, I was worried about bathroom trips and sickness during the day.  Like Fitzy said, I just prepared as much as I could, then went with what happened during the day.  Like you, I cared about the marriage, not the wedding so everything was pretty simple (hey we were 38 and 40 the year we got married)---just make the rest of the day simple for yourself.

1) I wore thigh highs instead of pantyhose so if I needed to run to the potty, it would be less of a project.  I also picked a dress style that was not too bulky in the bathroom (too late for that now, but remember that people will help you with your dress, they love that stuff!).  2) Ask for help and let people help!  Ask someone to be responsible for the little things that day...I had someone else in charge of getting the programs in into the church etc 3) eat small meals all day so you keep your energy up, but don't have too big a gutful if you need to go.  I asked the waitress for our table to save me a plate of mashed potatoes for later in case I was hungry again--she microwaved me a plate around 10pm so I could keep going.  4) Don't drink at the reception---I avoided anything after the toast just to make sure even though I know I usually handle 1 drink well.  5) Smile all day...it makes you feel better

Non CD wedding advice - 1) look at everyone as you walk up the aisle!  It was so nice to see everyone smiling and I enjoyed them enjoying the day. 2) enjoy the "bubble" - after I took my Dad's arm, I went into this bubble that I had no control anymore and everything will be as it will be.  ENJOY THE DAY!!!!!


Dx'd '90 (emergency rupture), symptoms ignored long before that, '03 fistulas and bad flagyl reactions, B12 weekly, Pentasa [until I surrender to the bigger meds]
I'm riding on the escalator of life....


CrohnieYogi
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 367
   Posted 10/7/2008 8:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Congratulations!! I would say get a massage or two and take a gentle yoga class. These two things help me clear my head and keep the stress from getting to me as bad.

Also, posting here to get things off your chest would probably be a big help. Don't worry about posting too often--that's why we're here!!

Good luck!

CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 10/7/2008 10:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I recently remairried and went through a spell of active disease leading up to it. I found taking about 10 minutes a day to just mediate and let negative thoughts pass through and out helped me relax and let go of the stress. If that didn't work, I had a back up of Xanax to take the edge off. LOL!
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
 
Randy
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/
Dx'd with Crohn's at age 12. Symptoms since age 5, RLS, Depression, Anxiety, and down right feel yucky some days.
Learning to live with this Disease rather than be its victim after 36 years.


kam#7
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 10/8/2008 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for all of the wonderful tips - it never ceases to amaze me how creative we can be when dealing with this ridiculous disease!

I will take your advice and keep on posting to get me through this stressful (yet happy) time.

Thanks again - I LOVE this site
35 year old female - Diagnosed w/Crohn's 2002 - Surgery 2004

Currently taking: Pentasa, Entocort, Imuran, Immodium, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Seroquel


gardenlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 3103
   Posted 10/11/2008 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Yay! Another anti-bridezilla!

Definitely talk to the doc about some ativan (or similar). God knows I went through a few clonopin.

I'm pretty much the queen of list making, and that helped, I thought. Especially in the last couple weeks. it kept me from getting overwhelmed, because I had things broken into bite size chunks. I took a few sheets of tractor feed paper and wrote up everything that had to be done -- wedding related or otherwise -- and figured out where I could fit wedding stuff in and stuff without over doing it. It kept me from having days where I ran like a crazy idiot for fifteen hours every so often. I stuck the whole thing to the front door with a magnet so that Kerry could see it too. We had some cleaning up and cleaning out to do since we were going to have people staying with us, which was not a job I had any intention of tackling by myself.

I had things go wrong, and most of them weren't earth shattering. Mostly, I just worked on rolling with the stuff that popped up, making sure I asked myself: "is this really critical, or will it be a really funny story a few weeks from now?" Most things went into the funny story category.

Don't be afraid to delegate! I got a lot of practice in this category, since it isn't something I always do well. So, yeah. Call up friends and family and put them to work.

Good luck! Keep us posted! cool
"Let me light my lamp,"
Says the star,
"And never debate
If it will help to remove the darkness."
-- Indian poet, Rabindranath Tagore


randynoguts
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6050
   Posted 10/12/2008 12:27 AM (GMT -7)   
i relaxed in the hospital... i had a blockage..i got out 2 days before, threw up all night before. my wifes cousin was staying with us and thought we were crazy for going through with it. they all went to the wedding place and i went later in the day. we had the ceremony, i was yellow and white and weaving , we stayed for the reception for a couple hours, (picture about 70 mailmen and women doing conga lines while inhaling helium 3 days after xmas! C2 you should appreciate that! , then the next day i went back to the hospital and had surgery a couple days later. see everything went fine so dont worry!
randynoguts 



     http://www.geocities.com/randynogutsweb/


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 10/12/2008 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
My advice is to enjoy it and live happily ever after. Very Best Wishes for a good life together. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,and still alive.lol gail


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 10/12/2008 6:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Geez Randy - not so great of a honeymoon there!
27 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


eva124
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 246
   Posted 10/13/2008 1:00 AM (GMT -7)   
i agree with fitzy's co worker,try not to think bout it,coz any time i worry bout pooping etc i usually end up hafing to go lol its annoying as hell
dx 17 aug 2007
21 yrs old
13 dec 2007 resection/temp illeostomy 14 feb 2008 temp illeostomy reversed 
150mg azamun
3000mg pentasa

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