I am a nervous wreck right now and can't sleep. I know I am new here but over the last week all of my biggest supports in my life, my husband and my parents have turned their back on me or at least that is how it feels to me and right now the only people that I think would understand me is you all.
I signed up to run a 1/2 marathon in January to raise money for Crohn's Disease. Besides being selfish for wanting to find a cure I also knew I needed to do this for myself because if I didn't than I had let the disease win and it was either find an outlet like this to deal with my feelings or go on anti-depression medicine and starting seeing a therapist. I love working out and know I can manage my emotions if I set a goal like this one. I have been trying to hold it together for 2.5 years and mentally I just need to do this for myself. I was so excited about
doing this and finally meeting other people in my area with CD and UC and have people around me that truelly know what I go through every day. But no one close to me seems to understand.
My parents are against it because they are worried about
the stress it will cause (my doctor is even encouraging it) and my husband is worried about
the stress as well over raising the money. I have told my best friends and they have complete apprehension about
it and me raising the money. My husband has never given up on me and I think that is what has upset me the most is not having his support. I have to raise $3600 which my heart sunk when I heard that number because my husband and I already gave a large donation in the spring to CCFA and I hate pressuring people for money.
Against all my rational thoughts I signed up to raise that much because in my heart I feel that I need to do this for myself. I have raised $400 so far and have been planing fund raising ideas all week. I told my husband about
them and he basically told me that I am not being real with the goal and that he is sorry that the economy has turned and that it is not my fault but that I basically need to give up.
I am still determined to do this, I don't know how I am going to do it but I am going to run the race and raise the money if I have to die trying. That is why I have come to all of you, I just need to hear someone tell me that they understand this struggle in my head with the disease and that I am not crazy for having to do this for myself. I constantly think about
other people and for once I need to do things my own way. If anyone can give me any type of encouragement, fund raising ideas, inspirational quotes, you name it, I need it right now.
Thank you for listening,
To support my 1/2 Marathon run to raise money for Crohn's Disease, please go to:1/2 Marathon Fund Raising