do you feel that your doctor neglects you?

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ivy6
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Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/17/2008 2:17 AM (GMT -7)   
This is a really hard post for me to write. I don't want to reveal too many specifics in case anyone associated with my real-life medical care sees this and feels hurt, so please excuse the vagueness.

Still, does anybody else feel that their doctor neglects them? I am polite but assertive in my dealings with the medical world, but I am tired of having to deal with their unpredictable (and occasionally foul) moods, of my phone calls not being returned; of my requests - sometimes urgent - for help being ignored.

My doctors all say how much they appreciate the fact that I'm aware of the pressure that they're under and that I try not to hassle them too much. However, I am starting to feel that *they* take advantage of my politeness and keep putting me off or ignoring me, thinking that I'll continue to be kind and understanding (and give them chocolate) no matter how they treat me.

I keep wondering, do they treat their other patients this way, or is it just me that they choose to dump on, simply because they feel reasonably secure in our medical relationship?

I have been on the verge of writing this post for a while, but the final straw came this afternoon when I discovered that my GI has gone away until November, even though he asked me to speak with him today and despite the fact that his secretary passed him a message before his departure saying that I was deteriorating, finding it hard to manage, and needing advice.

I really don't know what else I could have done. I couldn't have been any more graphic or specific with his secretary, and she *did* say he'd call...

Anyway, I'd appreciate knowing that it's not just me, and that they treat everyone badly...

Ivy, frustrated, fed up and sad
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Post Edited (ivy6) : 10/17/2008 3:28:46 AM (GMT-6)


teddybearweiser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 3042
   Posted 10/17/2008 2:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ivy,
I think maybe its time to find a new doctor. I would find a doctor with better bedside manners. So one whom will listen to you and whom cares.

teddybear
Hi, I am teddybearweiser, I am a male.
I was diagnosed with crohns disease when i was admitted to the hospital

in 1992, in Jan of 1993 I was back in the hospital for surgery for my crohns. I had part of my right colon resectioned with ilecolonstomy.

My GI doctor has me on Asacol, Dicyclomine,Imuran,Celebrex and Remicade. B-12 injection once a month.
Also diagnosed with Osteoarthritis and Rheumatoid Arthritis


eva124
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 246
   Posted 10/17/2008 2:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I hafnt experienced this yet coz when i was real sick i use to see my gi weekly and when he went over seas i did not got o the docs even thou i was real sick,i think if ur unhappy wth ur GI change if u can
dx 17 aug 2007
21 yrs old
13 dec 2007 resection/temp illeostomy 14 feb 2008 temp illeostomy reversed 
150mg azamun
3000mg pentasa


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/17/2008 2:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Nope; I can't change. I'm in the country; there aren't many docs to choose from. And, believe me, he is better than the alternatives... by light years.

And it's not just him. It's the big-city experts who are doing this to me, too --- and they're supposedly the best in the state, and amongst the top docs in the nation.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/17/2008 2:38 AM (GMT -7)   
ps. And just to clarify (and make it harder) I am actually very fond of this doc. He's a lovely man... but his moods can be mercurial, and *that's* what makes it hard.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


Miss UK
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 128
   Posted 10/17/2008 2:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi ivy6 yes I know exactly how you feel and have often thought myself is it because I'm too polite and don't want to trouble them.  I've been in tears before at the constant promises of ringing me back to hear nothing.  It's not nice when you are suffering I really hope they sort it out for you!

ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/17/2008 2:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, Miss UK. I'm glad to know it's not just me.

The power dynamics in the doctor-patient relationship drive me mad. If *we* turn up for an appt in a foul mood or - heaven forbid - late or not at all, they make us suffer the consequences. It seems to me that there are very few consequences for them, no matter how they behave. Weird - shouldn't the consequences be shared?

I.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


Texan with Crohn's
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 10/17/2008 4:03 AM (GMT -7)   
ivy -

Sorry that you go through this. Me, I don't take it. I start off all polite, but when they (the doc) starts not returning my calls or treats me like a number, I get very very sharp tongued. I am not sure if this is because I worked around attorneys for so many years or what, but I just feel that if any other profession treated their clients like these specialist doctors, then there wouldn't be any clients. I have said that so many times. We pay good money for these specialists and expect a level of care that includes promptness in returning calls, some level of sympathy and understanding rather than a coldness and we also expect them (for the money they are paid) to remember who we are and the specifics of our disease. Hence, I cannot seem to keep a GI doctor. I simply do not tolerate someone speaking "down" to me or being treated like a number. I've chewed up three and spit them all out! Thank the lord for my Primary Care Physician. He is truly one of a kind. I think they broke the mold when they made him and his twin brother (both doctors).

I need to find another new GI, but I do not wish to start all over with "You probably have UC"... it's always that way.... always. I can say, hey, look at all the scans done while I was hospitalized - see where the inflammation is, see the notes where it says CROHN'S. Call someone over at that hosptial and have them look at them if you don't believe the notes. And so on... and so on...

So Ivy, sorry to rant, btw, I understand your frustration. Mine has left me without treatment because I am not as kind as you are. When I don't get a call back, I start calling the doc's cell - fools for calling my cell phone to begin with. Of course I'm going to save that number!!!

Ivy -
If you want me to call your doc and chew him out, just say the word.... :) Just say the word.
-Les

gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 10/17/2008 4:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ivy I have never talked to my GI on the phone I have left a message and his secretary has provided the information I needed . Perhaps your GI is a bit frustrated because of the no money available to you for your treatment (Humira). It can stop them in there tracks too I would think if he wants you on something and there is no finances for you. They can only do so much too. Not sure how your meds are paid for so cain't go into help with that. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,and still alive.lol gail


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 10/17/2008 6:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Ivy6 I really like my GI too. He always spends whatever amount of time with me as needed. But recently I got very upset with him. He had been on vacation, so I waited until he was back to refill my much needed Crohns meds. These prescriptions no longer had any refills, so the pharmacy had to get his approval to refill them. I waited 5 "business" days before I went to pick up my prescriptions. Neither had been approved or filled yet. I went up to his office (same building) and complained to his nurse, she said he told me to just wait in the pharmacy. I was livid that medications I need to keep my Crohns in check still had not been filled. I went to the membership services dept and filed a complaint against him. I didn't want to do it, but felt it was the right decision this time. I have a chronic and incurable disease that needs these medications to keep it check. Ever since the complaint my GI is now much more attentive to my needs. He even called me with some test results recently, something he never did before.

Is there someone you can complained to? If not, I agree with Texas, its time to stop being nice and demand that you be given the care you deserve and need.

God Bless,
Gail *Nanners*
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 10/17/2008 6:39 AM (GMT -7)   
I also have to respectfully disagree with gachrons, I do not think you should accept your doctor treating you in a rude manner just because your insurance won't approve your medication. You have no control over that, and he shouldn't take his frustrations out on you for ANY reason.

Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 10/17/2008 6:39 AM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((Ivy))))))))))
It is probably why I have had 7 GI's.

Give me a bit to come up with a good script for you, because he is transfering some emotion on to you.


Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 10/17/2008 8:21:10 AM (GMT-6)


Erik45
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 149
   Posted 10/17/2008 7:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Get rid of the A hole or tell him to tell to quit using you to get out his frustrations out on. They get paid the the big bucks to be professional. I had one like that, he use to blame me for my attacks and get real moody with me. I got rid of him real quick the new guy i got now is great he jokes around with and always tell me what new in the Crohn's world. It was so bad with the first GI i had "quote" i'm only giving you remicade when you get a crohn's attack. That was the last straw i went to my family doctor and told him what he said and that i refused to see him again. He set me up with this new GI and he's been really great so far..
Crohns for 13 years
1 surgery so far
2 times in hospital for blockages
MEDS:
Remicade
Imuran
B12 Injections


spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 10/17/2008 8:30 AM (GMT -7)   
My last GI doctor has always been a bit cold, but I stuck with him because it's hard to find a GI doctor that will take my insurance. One time when I needed a Pentasa refill, he didn't fill it for a month. I called, the pharmacy called and faxed, and I even paid a visit to his office. His staff said they kept telling him to sign it, but that he hadn't done it. Luckily, my dad also takes Pentasa and shared some with me. Otherwise, who knows what would have happened if I had gone a month without meds. I still stuck with him though. This last year, he had gotten particularly neglectful. He would have me come in almost every month, but would hardly say a word to me. He mostly just read his notes and typed on the computer. One time, he wasn't in the office at my appointment time and so I saw his assistant. She was very nice, but mostly said I should save my questions for the next time I saw the doctor. If I didn't have insurance, I'd be seriously PO'd about spending money for an appointment I didn't really get. As the months went on, my GI said less and less with each appointment. I can't remember the last time he did anything like feel around on my abdomen or do any sort of physical exam. When I was waiting to get approved for Humira, he said to call his office before I started taking it. I called and left more than one message, but then never received a callback, so I started taking the med anyway. The final straw came this last summer. I was in the ER, and the ER doctor called him. He was very rude, refused to tell the ER doctor anything about my case history, said he wouldn't treat me, and then hung up on the ER doctor. The ER people were quite shocked at how awful he was. I wasn't totally surprised though. He has a huge turnover of both reception and nursing staff at his office, so I've always kind of figured he's a hard man to work for. I decided it was time to get a new doc. I've had to wait 3 months since I'm a new patient, but will soon be seeing my new GI. It's a longer drive, but I'm in hopes it will be worth it. I checked out her bio on the internet, and she seems to be a very qualified and caring person (lots of humanitarian projects in her past).

I miss my doctors from my old city. There were 7 or 8 GI's in the office (if my main doctor wasn't available, one of the others would see me). Most of them were really good doctors. I could also expect the nurse to return my phone calls shortly after leaving a message. Too bad all offices aren't like that one.

gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 10/17/2008 10:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hold on here Nanners I did not say anything about Ivy's Dr. should be rude to her I am saying that money talks and if a Dr. only had to write a perscription out that would get filled it makes things easier. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,and still alive.lol gail


Jen77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2691
   Posted 10/17/2008 12:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes, this sounds a lot like what I experienced with my last GI. I still don't have a new one btw. I plan on finding one, but in no hurry. Seems like a lot of them where I live is just like this. I'd rather just see my primary who is so much more attentive, and half the time more knowledgable on Crohn's anyway.

It is frustating, because to me this is a serious condition to have, and we should have a good specialist to help us with it.

With my last GI it could take weeks, if not months to see him. If it's something more serious and urgent? Go to the ER. Oh that's wonderful advice, considering most things with Crohn's really shouldn't wait weeks to months anyway! They'd hardly ever call back, without me calling several times to badger them about it. I could go on and on!! So no you are for sure not alone!
~Jennifer
 
Diagnosed with Crohn's Disease 2/06 after sever GI bleed. Has been suffering since 1998. History of rectal fistula and gallbladder removal. Taking Asacol, Questran, Toprol XL (for high blood pressure). Tapered off prednisone a month ago!


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 10/17/2008 12:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I respectfully apologize gachrons I must have read your post wrong:)
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


CrohnieToo
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 9448
   Posted 10/17/2008 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Keep in mind that in some cases the lack of response to your calls and messages could well be the "desk dragons" and not the doctor. Some of these "desk dragons" get really possessive and protective of "their" doctor.
Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.


bektold
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 456
   Posted 10/17/2008 2:17 PM (GMT -7)   

I'm looking to change my medical team (GI and Rheumatologist), partially because of their recent treatment.  They both said they would support me on my disability claim- one of them didn't and the other took three weeks, with daily phone calls, to get the letter done.

I suspect that part of the problem is that they just don't know what to do with me.  They increased my Imuran and I didn't get any better.  They added Remicade and I only got marginally better.  The Rheumatologist wanted to switch me off of Imuran to methotrexate, and at that point the GI  basically handed over all of my care to her because he's never prescribed it and doesn't know anything about it.  Of course, she knows about treating joints but nothing about my guts.  Thank God for Healing Well, because if it weren't for y'all I wouldn't have known to stop taking mesalamine when I started the methotrexate.  I was taking Pentasa and Canasa, and neither doctor knew about the possible interaction.

Imuran and Remicade seem to be about the limit of my GI's knowledge of treating Crohn's.  The methotrexate has helped with somethings and made others worse, so overall I'm not feeling any better.  He's fantastic with call-backs.  In fact, he seems to prefer that to office visits, which made it easier for me to get medical advice when I was working and my boss was harrassing me about taking off for doctor's appointments.  But it doesn't matter how prompt the return call is if the answer is a shrug and "just keep doing what you're doing."  I refuse to accept that this is as good as it's gonna get.  I just need to find doctors who agree with me and can help me figure out a way to get better.

SydneyJo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1354
   Posted 10/17/2008 4:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Everytime I need to visit my gastro I wonder what mood she will be in this time. We started out well, even enquirering after each others kids and family, but since asking her to help with disability forms her attitude towards me has changed (even though she did help me). This also coincided with my rejection of meds she offered, so I cant really say which changed her attitude towards me. She also tells me I am her worst patient - as in never having this DD under control, and I guess that makes her feel hopeless in treating me. Could that be it Ivy, that you are such an extreme Crohn's case that you make your Dr feel inadequate. Not trying to make excuses for him, but he may feel hopeless at treating you, it may be easier to just put you in his 'too hard basket' on occasions. Just a thought, anyway. I know you really like your Gastro, as I did, so it is upsetting when they just 'fob' you off.
Jo

ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/17/2008 4:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, guys. I'm glad it's not just me.

I was lying in bed last night, stewing, when I remembered that the nurse who helps my city doctors has an answering machine and no desk dragon. I'm going to ring her tomorrow (Sunday) and leave a message saying that I have NOBODY else to call on and need advice / help. That way, she'll get the message first thing on Monday morning and she won't be able to fob me off and tell me that she's busy.

I.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/17/2008 4:57 PM (GMT -7)   
ps. Sorry, Jo, I didn't see your post.

Even if they are frustrated, it isn't good enough. This is where their communication skills need to improve. They need to have the courage and courtesy to say "I don't know how to help you", or "I won't be able to call you today; phone someone else for help" instead of leaving the patient dangling. They leave us reliant on them, yet don't have the courtesy to give us other options.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


SydneyJo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1354
   Posted 10/17/2008 5:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes, you are right about that. Any employee in any other job would have to be courteous regardless of how they are feeling, I know I have to. Doctors should be held accountable too.
Jo - who will be late for work soon lol

Sarita
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2486
   Posted 10/17/2008 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   
I think if they treated us a little better while we're in medical school, all patients would be better off. I'm only a second-year med student and am already jaded and horrified! By medicine in general, by my colleagues, by my patients (especially the manipulative ones), by my professors, etc. No wonder so many people are dissatisfied with their docs...I'm dissatisfied with MYSELF!
Co-moderator - IBS Forum

Please always remember to consult your medical professional regarding your medical questions; this forum is intended to provide patient-to-patient support. Although some of us have healthcare backgrounds, we cannot diagnose or treat patients on the board.


munchkin81
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 10/18/2008 4:57 PM (GMT -7)   
I totally get how that feels.  My doctor didn't return my phone calls for over a month.  Actually, it was his nurse.  I was getting so depressed and upset thinking that it was me, and they were avoiding me for a reason.  I just felt so hopeless.  Well, finally got a hold of the doctor last week and it turns out they were having "problems" with phone calls being returned and it was being taken care of.  He was very apologetic.  He had no idea that I had even been trying to call, and that the nurse never called with my test results.  It's just so easy to take it personally, but they have their problems too...not that it makes it any better.  I hope things get easier.
Munchkin 81
27 year old female.  DX June 2007.
abscess Nov. 2006 - drain and surgery
Resection 11/07
Resection 4/08
on Remicade
 

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