So my doctor says...

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1811
   Posted 10/24/2008 12:42 PM (GMT -6)   
I had to take my kids with me (4yrs & 2 yrs) to my appointment because I couldn't get a babysitter. They were sitting in the chair while I was on the examining table and my 2 year old starts to thump the cabinets with his shoe. It's NOT like a banging drum, but definitely a bit distracting (I like my kids to be seen and not heard in those situations) so I say, "Excuse me" to the doc and then tell my 2 year old monkey to please stop doing that.

Doc turns to my kid and says, "Do you want me to come to your house and kick your toys? Don't kick my cabinets."
My jaw drops. I KNOW children at the doc's office are LESS than desireable, but honestly, was that kind of response warranted? I'm trying to decide whether or not I should be offended. :)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 734
   Posted 10/24/2008 12:45 PM (GMT -6)   
No don't be offended. There are bigger issues I'm sure. We all say things that don't come out right. I'm sure no offense was intended. Some people aren't as kid friendly as they should be, but they are still a good person. I know Crohn's can make us a little bit more offensive. SMILES

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 734
   Posted 10/24/2008 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   
I would not want someone to talk that way to my kids, but maybe the doc was having a bad day. That's not the worst behavior that could come from a 2 yr old - the kid was probably bored and just being a kid.

The doc should have realized you were taking care of the situation though. It wasn't like you did not say something to your child and was just letting in continue.
"We can't beat this disease, YET, but we can't let it beat us!"

"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 245
   Posted 10/24/2008 2:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Whilst I understand what the doctor is saying, he needs to keep in mind that this is a very young child in prehaps the most boring enviroment that he could every be in. I think if all the child was doing was rocking his foot against the unit, the doctor is bang out of order. Sorry, I am really protective of my wee fella, and if anyone said that to them, I would not hold my tounge. Well done you for not having a go.

Miss UK
Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 128
   Posted 10/24/2008 4:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I could understand him saying something if you didn't so a bit off of him when you had already sorted it out.  I think your children did well if thats all that happened I also would like my 2 year old to be seen and not heard but it would never work that way for me haha

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 246
   Posted 10/24/2008 7:48 PM (GMT -6)   
least he ddint say "would you like me to kick you?" i agree if hes not very good wit kids then maybe he didnt relise that wat he was saying snded a bit off also if his tone was nasty then that wld be wrong but if he sed kinda nicly then i wldnt be to offended
dx 17 aug 2007
21 yrs old
13 dec 2007 resection/temp illeostomy 14 feb 2008 temp illeostomy reversed 
150mg azamun
3000mg pentasa

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 10/24/2008 8:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I think it all depends on the tone. I think kids often listen to people better that are not their parents and the idea of someone kicking his toys might be a good analogy. But for such a young child I think it is inappropriate and could make him fear the doctor. You might want to read the UC board or post there b/c a lady there recently had her GI reprimand her kid for being fidgity while she was at the docs too. She was also very offended.
27 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 10/24/2008 8:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Devil's Advocate:
Perhaps the Dr thought he was re-inforcing the Mother's demand to her child AND becoming "the bad guy" to the kid, instead of the mother? I have done that, however I also let the parents know that I'll be the 'bad guy' before I do it.

Example: I was in a grocery store where the grandma in front of me was telling young grand daughter she could not have the little dolly she had picked up and carried around the store. Grandma reiterated several times that she had already purchased something for the little girl and she was not getting her that doll, put it back on the shelf right now. The little girl just kept holding the doll and whining as she began to cry.
I told the grandma I would be the bad guy. I knelt down and held my hand out to the girl and asked her to give me the doll. She did and I handed it to the cashier. The girl cried louder and I turned to the grandma and apologized for making her grandchild cry and she told me it didn't matter, the grandaughter was gonna cry and be mad no matter how it happened.
My thoughts; at least the grandma could now blame ME and try to difuse her grandaughter's 'mad' so it wouldn't be directed at her.
I have the ability of single-minded determination and accurate project focu....Hey, look, a cat!
Crohn's and UC are pretty darn crappy, but if you can't laugh at yourself, you'll cry. 
I'd much rather laugh.
2001 Dx'd with UC.  No remission.  5/2008 surgery, removal of 6" of left side colon.  Dx changed to Crohn's.  Remission for 8-9wks after surgery, symptoms returning after resuming 6MP.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2670
   Posted 10/24/2008 8:29 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree that it depends on the tone. I could easily get offended if that was said in a mean spirited way. You were addressing the issue, he really didn't need to say anything more.
Diagnosed with Crohn's Disease 2/06 after sever GI bleed. Has been suffering since 1998. History of rectal fistula and gallbladder removal. Taking Asacol, Questran, Toprol XL (for high blood pressure). Tapered off prednisone a month ago!

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13362
   Posted 10/24/2008 11:52 PM (GMT -6)   
I wouldn't have been offended. I look at it as he was backing you up and we all know in most instances that the little ones will listen alot better to someone else over their own parents. My 3 yr old grand son is living proof of Yes, I have told him on more than one occassion that I do not tear his toys up and he is not going to come here and tear things up just for the fun of it. I feel bad for you that you could not get a sitter, in that instance I would have probably rescheduled my appt for when I could get one.

I keep my grandbaby alot for my daughter-in-law, I even keep him so she can go buy groceries because he is a holy terror in the store with her and it does not matter what kind of a store it is either. I on the other hand can take him to any kind of store and I get no flack out of him. My poor dil is just floored that I can do these things with Hugs, Susie

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