in a funk, and don't know what to do

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kimmy2
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 10/27/2008 4:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I've been in such a funk and I just can't seem to shake it!  I find I can't even post because I feel I have nothing to offer.  I joined the forum not to long ago and really enjoyed posting and reading here, but since I got out of the hospital 2 weeks ago I just can't get a grip.  I take Cymbalta for depression, but it just doesn't seem to be working.  When I got out of the hospital I was doing some better, but again I am having trouble with pain and d.  I was in the hospital for intestinal paralysis, and had a colonoscopy where they said my Crohn's activity looked pretty good (thanks to Cimzia).  I just don't feel right.  I am going through a divorce after 19 years of marriage, but actually felt better after leaving my BAD marriage.  Thankfully I have my two teenage boys, and the kids in my 3rd grade class.  I put on a brace face every day and smile, counting the minutes until I can be home, disappearing into my room.  Does anyone have any ideas on breaking this "funk"?  I try to stay positive, but can't beat the doom and gloom!
 
Thanks for listening,
kimmy cry
diagnosed CD '03 after suffering for 10 yrs.
 
re-section surgery '05, Chronic Pancreas problems, joint and muscle issues (from Remicade)
 
meds been on-Asacol, Pentasa, Lialda, Remicade, Humira, 6-MP, Methotrexate, Rowasa, Prednisone, to many pain meds to list
 
Currently on-Cimzia, Cymbalta, and Klonopin(RLS)


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 10/27/2008 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kimmy sounds like things are a bit hard for you now and I must say you are a busy person. Perhaps it's the new med Cymbalta sometimes I think the meds work backwards. Talking about things might help so glad your opening up. Put on some good tunes, buy something personal for yourself, get a new book. Just give yourself little rewards and start appreciate how much love and support you have given your teens. Love yourself first. You will have more time now to concentrate on the good. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,and still alive.lol gail


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 10/27/2008 4:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Kimmy,
First of all feel free to vent here! There is no shame in doing therapy for this darn disease. (therapy due to medical condition is very very common) Life is rough sometimes anyway and being sick just kinda makes it a harder. I am not feeling really congnitive right now, but please take care of yourself.
Hugs,
Navy


Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...


kimmy2
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 10/27/2008 7:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I think I'm going to check out the depression forum, and see if they have some ideas on what I can do. I find myself full of such doubt about eveything. I posted 3 hours ago and thought I would have more than 2 people respond and I automatically start questioning my self worth. (crazy huh) I just feel so overwhelmed and alone. I think stupid stuff that's irrational like how many folks answer my post and know it is part of dealing with disease/depression, but that's how down I feel now! I have so many medical bills and am now the "breadwinner" for my family, so I can't rationalize another bill for a counselor. I do need some help though.
diagnosed CD '03 after suffering for 10 yrs.
 
re-section surgery '05, Chronic Pancreas problems, joint and muscle issues (from Remicade)
 
meds been on-Asacol, Pentasa, Lialda, Remicade, Humira, 6-MP, Methotrexate, Rowasa, Prednisone, to many pain meds to list
 
Currently on-Cimzia, Cymbalta, and Klonopin(RLS)


pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 10/27/2008 7:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Been there, as you know it totally sucks...I found exercising regularly helped bring me right out of it, and it helped with the anxiety and my over all health as well, I sleep so well at night compared to before, I have loads of energy compared to before exercising as well...it's tough at first but it sure didn't take long to reap the benefits...even 30 minutes/day of exercise can make a world of difference and the variety out there is good. There are many forms of yoga, there's aquasizing, and many more.

Feel better soon, it must be hard for your teenagers, I have 2 teens as well, one was old enough to already move out, I just have my soon to be 16 yr old and my hubby at home now (and of course my sweetheart of a cat that can't seem to get enough of my attention, honestly I think she has helped me a lot mentally as well the last 3 yrs since we got her).

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it! LOL :)


kimberlayn
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 239
   Posted 10/27/2008 9:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I have a friend who swears by tanning. I'm too fair, would turn into a lobster rather quickly, but she goes when she needs a pick-me-up. She has been on several antidepressants and has UC. I've told her how her risk for skin cancer goes up and wrinkles and all that but she justs laughs me off! She says the warmth of the rays, especially when its getting colder out, just makes her feel warm and cozy and happy. It's hard to argue with that, makes me want to go! Me, I go swimming at the local gym. I love feeling like a dolphin gliding through the water. It takes a lot of energy and willpower to get there sometimes, but its definitely worth it once I do it! And $5 for a bouquet of flowers from the grocery store, put them next to the tv or on a table next to your recliner or in the bathroom! Flowers can help brighten the day!
diagnosed w/Crohn's 11/06. 34f with 2 boys, a lovable dog, and a wonderful husband. 150 mg Imuran, bentyl, entocort, vicodin as needed, metoprolol for orthostatic hypotension and heart palpitations. Bowel resection 9/07. Active disease back, darn it 8/08. 11 year old son with IBS-C, on Bentyl.


eva124
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 246
   Posted 10/28/2008 5:16 AM (GMT -7)   
hmmm welcome to my day,glad im not he only hu feels dwn most of the time lol,i agree with exercise,also i think just being in the sun helps,also i find taking time out to pamper your self is good like taking a long shower etc,had the worse day due to me starting prednisone,scares me how much it affects me, roid rage!!!!also my cat helps alot too hes a funny thing so i enjoy watching his antics
dx 17 aug 2007
21 yrs old
13 dec 2007 resection/temp illeostomy 14 feb 2008 temp illeostomy reversed 
150mg azamun
3000mg pentasa


Crybaybee
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 10/28/2008 6:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I know what you mean. It's hard not to get overwhelmed with all of the what ifs? and thinking about how crappy the next day might be when you haven't even gotten over the present one. I do the same thing. I just want to go to bed and never get out. I'm currently trying to work through it which is why I joined the Crohn's Support Group. I'm pretty much a nervous wreck after leaving the hospital last week. Just when you think you can deal with Crohn's, something happens that reminds you how terrible it really can get.

How long have you been taking Cymbalta? I probably need to get on something. I have let my quality of life go to the crapper. (No pun intended... well, maybe a little)

SydneyJo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1354
   Posted 10/28/2008 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Kimmy,
I know what you mean too. Each day I wake up I think - ok what's it gonna throw at me today! Throughout the day I can go from good to bad in the blink of an eye - no warnings, just hit rock bottom fast.
I find doing yoga and walking very therapeutic, some people here like to swim etc, I guess some form of physical activity that your body can cope with may be therapeutic for you.
I had a day a few weeks back were I thought to myself - ok, I dont have my health, I dont have wealth, what have I got going for me, than I realised I am surrounded by love, the love from my family and friends and made myself feel guilty for thinking I had nothing - silly really. We all go through stages where we have had enough, know that you keep good company there. If ever you need support you know by coming here that you have come to the right place. Hope you are feeling in good spirits soon Kimmy, keep us posted.
Jo :)

ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/28/2008 4:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I've been holding off posting off this thread because I feel that anything I post would sound trite, but all I can offer is some advice that was given me by a psychologist a few years ago: "fake it until you make it".

If nothing gives you joy at the moment, then it might help you to try to remember something that used to give you joy, and try to do it for five minutes. You might find that you get just a little, fleeting moment of happiness, and realise that yes, it is possible to still feel happy. I don't know about you, but sometimes I get so low and numb that I start to worry that I'm "broken" and will never be able to feel anything again, so even a tiny moment of happiness can be encouraging.

If you are too ill to do something that once gave you joy, then you might like to try to think of something you've always been curious about and look it up on Google or in a book or encyclopaedia, or ring somebody and ask them about it. At least, then, you'll know that you've learnt something today!

If you can do that for a few days straight, then you might start to feel strong enough to add another little challenge to your day. It might feel like a great big act, totally fake, but at least you can know that you are trying to take baby steps towards regaining your happiness... and fake performances can become real if you maintain them long enough.

You are very welcome to join us in the pacting thread, if you think that will help you. I started the pacting tradition because I was in a similar place to you, and my gp said that I *had* to start rebuilding my life because I was heading for depression otherwise. For a long time my pacts were just small things, like "sit outside and blow bubbles" because that's all I could manage. It took a while for me to start feeling happier, but all those little baby steps mounted up over time, and I'm in a much better place than I was earlier this year.

I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now. We do understand, and I think we all know that there are no easy answers.

Hang in there.

Ivy.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


Crohn'snme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 734
   Posted 10/28/2008 4:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, I too take Cymbalta. I know when I missed a couple pills, I felt totally out of whack. Since this is new for you, I think you should immediately call your doctor. Cymbalta isn't for everyone and it could be it's not working properly for you. Please, please call your doctor explain how your feeling and get seen. Let me know what they say and how your feeling. PLEASE CALL! Best wishes.

kimmy2
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 10/28/2008 9:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all for the good ideas. I am feeling a little better on the funk-o-meter as I call it. I have an appointment on the 7th with my GI, and I plan on getting my moneys worth. I have my list, starting with the depression all the way to sleep problems. Oh yeah, and my GI issues as well. I bucked up and went to my good friends house this evening ( sorry I missed the chat room). They gave me a place to escape to and just talk without having to put on my "brave face". I begged off the car pool for swim practice and just went over to get away and vent! I appreciate everyone here and hope to feel more like myself soon and start posting more. I've started a journal to try and feel more in control of my body and where my treatment needs to head. I've put it right by my computer so I'll write in it before I log on everyday. I plan on taking it with me to drs. appt., so he can maybe see a little of what I've been going through. Sometimes it's really hard to explain to someone who hasn't been there. I'm thankful to have found this forum, because people here seem to get it!

Thanks again!
Love to all,
kimmy
diagnosed CD '03 after suffering for 10 yrs.
 
re-section surgery '05, Chronic Pancreas problems, joint and muscle issues (from Remicade)
 
meds been on-Asacol, Pentasa, Lialda, Remicade, Humira, 6-MP, Methotrexate, Rowasa, Prednisone, to many pain meds to list
 
Currently on-Cimzia, Cymbalta, and Klonopin(RLS)


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/29/2008 1:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Journalling is a *great* idea, Kimmy! You said that you were ging to start writing so you could get control of your body and where your treatment needs to head - I'm curious now. It sounds like more than a daily thoughts journal - will you tell us more about the sorts of things you put in there? It sounds like you've thought of a really good therapeutic tool.

*hug*

Ivy.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


kimmy2
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 10/29/2008 12:15 PM (GMT -7)   
When I started on Cimzia I received a notebook from UCB Pharma. In this notebook it has calenders with stickers to note everytime you go to the bathroom, dr's appt, sad faces for bad days, and a journal in the back. In this journal I now keep in the bathroom I write my feelings and exactly what is happening. I don't leave anything out, and plan on giving this to my dr when I see him on the 7th. At this point I have no shame! My best friend suffers with motility issues mostly of the uper GI tract and she's the one that told me how she journals. Her journal was the only way she was able to get disability after years of trying, because her issues don't have a specific name per se. She sent the government all her journals with all the times she threw up and how her life was unmanageable. She was finally able to get the help she had needed. I started 2 days ago and hope to keep up with writing in it. I now feel a sense of impowerment that I'm not going to let this disease win, I'm the new sherrif in town!!!

Thanks ivy,

kimmy


diagnosed CD '03 after suffering for 10 yrs.
 
re-section surgery '05, Chronic Pancreas problems, joint and muscle issues (from Remicade)
 
meds been on-Asacol, Pentasa, Lialda, Remicade, Humira, 6-MP, Methotrexate, Rowasa, Prednisone, to many pain meds to list
 
Currently on-Cimzia, Cymbalta, and Klonopin(RLS)

Post Edited (kimmy2) : 10/29/2008 1:18:18 PM (GMT-6)


spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 10/29/2008 12:38 PM (GMT -7)   
It also helps to have a good distraction. Mine is video games. Even if you don't like the type of games home consoles have, I'd highly recommend a Nintendo DS to anyone. It has something for everyone (I recently had to buy my mom her own DS because she was always playing mine) and it is also good to take to doctor appointments to pass the time in the waiting room.

A good mystery novel or another immersive genre (maybe a trashy romance?)is another good distraction.

I also get my daily laugh at http://icanhascheezburger.com/. There's always a few pictures that make me laugh.

Without distractions, I'd go crazy. Especially when crohn's has you stuck in bed.

Jen77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2691
   Posted 10/29/2008 1:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Funny that spookyhurst brought up video games! I was just going to say, a good distraction helps. I've been like that too lately, in a funk. My Mom bought me a subscription to the Toontown game online. Her and my son actually have been playing for a few months, and she thought maybe it would be good for me. Get my mind off things, and have some fun.
 
It really has helped. We also have a DS and a Wii. Good books, music, anything that may interest you helps. Takes the time away that I used to use for worrying, being anxious about my health, or being down. As long as I keep busy I've noticed a great improvement in my moods, and even energy levels, and I don't focus so much on this crappy body of mine!
~Jennifer
 
Diagnosed with Crohn's Disease 2/06 after sever GI bleed. Has been suffering since 1998. History of rectal fistula and gallbladder removal. Taking Asacol, Questran, Toprol XL (for high blood pressure). Tapered off prednisone a month ago!


TeacherBetsy
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 10/29/2008 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I really like the journal idea, Kimmy! Sometimes I've felt that I don't tell my GI doctor enough... maybe it would help to write it all down and take it to the check-ups. I hope this helps you feel better!

RoxieXander
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/29/2008 5:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Play some of the online games out there now with people that are from ALL over the country.
Get to meet others and play games, that keeps your mind off your health.
I tried Cymblata and it helped, but the side effects were too much, so I went back to Celexa and feel better in that area now. Stuggle with my Crohns a LOT and looks like an Ileostomy is my ONLY answer if I want to live with less pain and less meds. Also getting back to eat a lot of things Crohns won't allow now.

SydneyJo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1354
   Posted 10/29/2008 6:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Kimmy,
The journal is a great idea - I might have to use that one myself :)
Glad to see you in better spirits too :)
Jo
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