Short-Term Disability and going out to dinner?

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Julie1014
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 1245
   Posted 11/22/2008 3:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Good morning!  I have a question for all of you.  I have been out of work for a little over a month, and am getting short-term disability through work.  I'm having trouble with fatigue, joint/muscle pains, etc. which make it difficult just to make it through the day.  I was recently diagnosed with Fibro.  My days out consist of going grocery shopping, stopping at the library, etc.  After that, I'm exhausted.  Now, my question......
 
A friend has asked me out to dinner tonight.  I would love to go.  However, part of me is hesitant to "dressup," put on makeup, do my hair, and look half-way decent for fear that someone may see me and think, "she doesn't look sick."  Or, "boy, she's well enough to go out to dinner."
 
I don't know if this post makes any sense.  I feel horrible, I don't want to jeapordize my short-term disability.  But, at the same time, I am going bonkers in this house and would love to get out and have a nice dinner with my friend.
 
What would you do?  Any suggestions/feedback would be greatly appreciated.  Blessings, Julie
Diagnosed with Crohn's March 2006, Fibromyalgia November 2008
Asacol 3 times a day, Remicade 10mg/kg every 4 weeks, Prednisone 12 mg, Miralax as needed, Prevacid 30mg, Vit B12, Slow-FE (Iron), Hydrocortisone enemas as needed
Imuran stopped 9/8/08 (possible Pancreatitis)
Paxil 40mg daily (for Panic disorder)
Xanax .5mg as needed (for anxiety attacks)
 
 
 
 
 


MTLGUY40
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 11/22/2008 4:44 AM (GMT -7)   

LET YOUR LIFE CONTROL YOUR ILLNESS AND NOT YOUR ILLNESS YOUR LIFE

 

Go out and forget what anyone says!


Bible
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 188
   Posted 11/22/2008 5:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Excactly. If you feel like going-GO. It's no one's business- (I have found That is the hardest part about this disease, is I may not look sick-BUT I sure can be and not look it.) Go have fun-:)

FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 11/22/2008 7:18 AM (GMT -7)   
As long as you were honest on the part about the things you CAN do than you should be ok. You can always go to some hole in the wall place were you wouldn't expect to run into anyone. And if you did and felt you HAD to say something - just say, Short Term Disability isn't forever, my doc wants me to start working on short excursions.
27 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


kimberlayn
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 239
   Posted 11/22/2008 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
3 weeks after a resection I went out to a steakhouse with my husband, all dolled up. My boss' daughter in law was there and waved hello. When I stopped into the office a couple days later for paperwork, my boss said she was glad to hear I was able to get up and out. I think most people understand that going out to dinner to sit for a few hours and talk is far different from putting in a full day at work. Go and enjoy it, have some fun, and don't worry. If you run into the boss say you wanted to try the real world again for a short time, and you can't wait until you can be back!
diagnosed w/Crohn's 11/06. 34f with 2 boys, a lovable dog, and a wonderful husband. 150 mg Imuran, bentyl, entocort, vicodin as needed, Humira, metoprolol for orthostatic hypotension and heart palpitations. Bowel resection 9/07. Active disease back, darn it 8/08. 11 year old son with IBS-C, on Bentyl.


LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 11/22/2008 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   
It really isn't anyone's business. You have the medical records to prove what is going on in your body, and if you are ill enough to qualify for that disability, there isn't much anyone can say without making themselves out to be an inconsiderate dolt.
Go out and enjoy yourself. You know you would regret it if you looked back on the past year and saw yourself denying those small pleasures for fear of what ignorant people thought.
You've suffered enough already to be depriving yourself of the small things like this that come along.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone(down to 10 mg), pentasa, bentyl as needed, prilosec, tandem plus, humira, and good probiotics
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.
http://weblog.xanga.com/harlequin_garret


Joie1
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 376
   Posted 11/22/2008 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Honey, to HELL with what they have to say. Enjoy yourself.
27/f/CD. 4 CD related surgeries: 2 resections, 2 JP drains, 3 NG tubes, many absesses (including the one my most recent surgery scraped off my ovary) and fistulas.
Currently trying to figure out hip and knee joint pain.
Have lost in these surgeries: appendix, 8 in. intestine, R fallopian tube, gallbladder, 10 in. intestine
Dx'd: February 2007.
Pentasa (and much mental screaming)


Julie1014
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 1245
   Posted 11/22/2008 11:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all! I feel so "cooped up" in this house, and the idea of going out with a friend to eat a nice meal makes my day. Sometimes it's the simple things in life that make us happy. When we're always sick, it's nice to catch a "good" moment. Sometimes I worry too much about what others think, and not enough about myself. Blessings, julie
Diagnosed with Crohn's March 2006, Fibromyalgia November 2008
Asacol 3 times a day, Remicade 10mg/kg every 4 weeks, Prednisone 12 mg, Miralax as needed, Prevacid 30mg, Vit B12, Slow-FE (Iron), Hydrocortisone enemas as needed
Imuran stopped 9/8/08 (possible Pancreatitis)
Paxil 40mg daily (for Panic disorder)
Xanax .5mg as needed (for anxiety attacks)
 
 
 
 
 


bektold
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 456
   Posted 11/22/2008 11:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm on disability at the moment, and I struggle with the same feelings.  I live within a couple of miles of my boss and my office.  I'm constantly paranoid that I'm going to run into him somewhere, even though it's never happened in the two years I've worked for the company.  But you can't sit around staring at four walls forever.  Some socializing is healthy.  I just keep reminding myself of that when I go out.

SydneyJo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1354
   Posted 11/22/2008 10:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Julie,
You deserve a nice meal and good company, dont let what other people think of you ruin a nice night out. Have a great time :)
Jo

Julie1014
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 1245
   Posted 11/23/2008 3:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all so much for the replies. Unfortunately, my friend had to back out at the last minute, lol! So, I stayed home and watched a god movie. Anyone here want to go out to dinner??!!:-) Blessings, Julie
Diagnosed with Crohn's March 2006, Fibromyalgia November 2008
Asacol 3 times a day, Remicade 10mg/kg every 4 weeks, Prednisone 12 mg, Miralax as needed, Prevacid 30mg, Vit B12, Slow-FE (Iron), Hydrocortisone enemas as needed
Imuran stopped 9/8/08 (possible Pancreatitis)
Paxil 40mg daily (for Panic disorder)
Xanax .5mg as needed (for anxiety attacks)
 
 
 
 
 


Roni
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 2480
   Posted 11/23/2008 10:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Our pain is on the inside. I almost always wear make-up when I go out shopping etc. It has nothing to do with how often I go to the bathroom, how I feel inside, how much pain I have, etc. I prefer to look good rather than look sick, plain and simple. Why do I have to look sick just because I am sick?

No one can cut you off disability because you went out to dinner and dressed nicely. Now if you were to join a soccer team and start jumping all over the place and running everywhere but claimed your tummy hurts all the time and you have diarrhea, well that might be another story... lol.

Best wishes.
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