I am tired of being called a pill addict

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Bible
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 188
   Posted 11/30/2008 6:24 AM (GMT -7)   
I have had Crohns since I was 15 years old and I am now soon to be 36.  I have recently been prescribed something for my pain.  I really don't want to take them-but, actually, the meds have kept me from having to run to the ER   My husband keeps my meds and disperses them when he sees fit. Hoiwever, I know that he is just concerned of me running out too soon-but everythime I ask I get to hear about what an addict I am I don't know what to do-  I am tired of getting these lectures.  Any advice is appreciated.

Zanne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3763
   Posted 11/30/2008 7:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Why does your husband have your pain meds? They are for your use, when you are in pain. He is not your doctor and it is not for him to determine when or if you are in enough pain to need medication. There is a difference between pain pill addiction and pain pill tolerance. I don't know enough about your situation to know if you have a pain pill tolerance but I would doubt that your doctor would just RX pain pills if you were an actual addict who hadn't sought treatment and didn't have a game plan in place.

Please speak to the prescribing doctor about this, it isn't right. No one should have access to your pain medication except you. In fact in some cases if they are controlled substances he could be in serious trouble for it.
Suzanne

CD 19 years offically, 29 unofficially. 3 resections '93, '95 '97
Symptoms constantly but all tests show only minor ulcerations. Currently having multiple episodes of gastritis with no known cause.


Prednisone, 6MP,Prevacid, B12 shots, Bentyl, Xifaxan.....


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 11/30/2008 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Very well said Zanne - time to lay down the law with hubby Bible and say that he has no right to control your meds. Are you in a controlling and or abusive relationship? If so you may need to seek help for that before standing up to him. There should be an abused womens advocacy group in your area - just google it. If you have a therapist that would also be a good start.
27 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/30/2008 7:50 AM (GMT -7)   

1. Who in the heck does he think he is calling you a pill addict?  Please let him know that he is dead wrong and evidently need to research crohns more.  How dare he in any way cause you pain.  I do not think you should have to live in pain. 

2. Why does your husband have you meds?  His possession of your meds is illegal.  

I am concerned that your health and wellbeing are at risk here. 
I agree with Fitzy and Zanne.
There looks like there are some inherent relationship issues here.
I know it takes time for those relationship issues to get figured out.
In the meantime I think the possession issue is key.  I wonder if he will continue to risk a drug charge?
Please know that it is not your fault and we want to help you get the help other there, if you want it.  


Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 11/30/2008 8:44:42 AM (GMT-7)


dunny2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 11/30/2008 9:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Bible, I seem to remember having this conversation before!! So you obviously didn't listen to all the advice that was given then!!

So, please for your own self worth, please listen to Navy. If you continue down this road, I would be very concerned about you're
well being....

Do you still think that your husband is using them for himself? I remember that's what you thought before.
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
B12 Shots bi-weekly

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...


Rider Fan
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1445
   Posted 11/30/2008 10:14 AM (GMT -7)   
That sounds messed up...
Dx'ed in 1999. No surgeries.

Current meds: 25mg Methotrexate. Udo's Choice Probiotics (30 billion).


Betaine, digestive enzymes, Candicin (oil of oregano capsules), Beta Sitosterol.

Tried SCD, didn't work, now avoiding gluten and dairy.


CrohnieToo
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 9448
   Posted 11/30/2008 10:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Its no one's fault but your own for tolerating this guy's control issues - or usage issues of his own whichever, whatever, it is.

Either way, Ann Landers always said people can't use you for a door mat unless you let them. No truer words were even spoken.

Stand up for yourself or get out of this relationship. Maybe your ID says it all - you're in a relationship w/one of those religious fanatic control freaks. Shades of Elmer Grantry, Jimmy Baker, James Jones, et al!!! That is NOT religion as God intended it.
 
YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS! 


Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Post Edited (CrohnieToo) : 11/30/2008 10:47:22 AM (GMT-7)


Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3459
   Posted 11/30/2008 10:40 AM (GMT -7)   

I don't usually post here.  This is an upsetting post.  I think you need to sit down and have a long talk with your husband.  Try to find out what he is thinking by monitoring your meds.  Why does he not trust you to monitor your own illness?  You have managed this disease for twenty years now.  You are a big girl and you know how to do this.  I think you need to address this problem before it affects your health.  You may need to talk to your doctor about this as well.  Does your husband go to your appointments?  If not, maybe you could tell him that if he is going to play doctor he needs to talk to the other doctors on your health care team.

You certainly don't need to deal with being called an addict each time you would like to manage your pain.  The stress that adds to your life can really exacerbate your disease.  I wish you the very best of luck with this.  Everyone of us needs to be loved and respected and those of us that have chronic disease have to guard that need vigilantly.  Please take very good care of yourself, you deserve it.


Gretchen       co-moderator MS board       diagnosed with MS July 2006
 
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.


Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3459
   Posted 11/30/2008 10:51 AM (GMT -7)   

Ok so more people were posting to this as I was.  If you suspect your husband is taking your pills, then get them locked up and don't allow him to know how to access them.  You can get a lock box with a key at any office supply or hardware store.  Lock them up and hide both the key and the box.  I would then go ahead and call your doctor and report your suspicions.  This needs to be documented so you can protect yourself. 

Again, I wish you the very best of luck with this.  You do not deserve to be treated this way.  Please see that this is wrong and open your eyes to it so you can make some assertive changes in your life.  This is YOUR health we are talking about here. 

 

CrohnieToo, how have I miss your signature!!??  Oh my gosh I am so going to steal that from you.  I almost peed myself when I read that.  I shouted it out to my husband and he laughed as well.  Let me know how much money I am going to have to pay you to use that. 


Gretchen       co-moderator MS board       diagnosed with MS July 2006
 
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.


MAG102886
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 674
   Posted 11/30/2008 11:38 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with most people here,why does your husband have your pain meds to begin with? I had a similar situation with my mother and my pain meds..until I asked her to read these forums and see just how painful this disease can actually be...and that I wasn't just making up the pain to "get high". When she read some of the posts on this site about how debilitating this disease can get she was literally in tears, and never questioned my motives with the pain killers again. Perhaps have your husband read some of the posts on these forums, sometimes people like my mother need to hear it from someone else before they "get it", not that anyone can actually understand the pain we go through unless they go through it themselves, its not just a tummy ache....I wish it was though! And if I were you I'd give my husband a swift kick in the butt and tell him to keep his hands off things that are not his. nono
Dianogsed with Crohns: At 16 years old. 22 years old now.
Surgeries:2 Bowel Resections, Gallbladder Removed.
Current Meds: Humira (bi-weekly), 5mg Pred (tapering), Nexium, B12 injections.
 

LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 11/30/2008 12:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Everyone already said it. Please, listen to them and either talk with your husband or tell him what's what. He has no right to be carrying those, and, as everyone said, it's ILLEGAL.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone(down to 10 mg), pentasa, bentyl as needed, prilosec, tandem plus, humira, and good probiotics
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.
http://weblog.xanga.com/harlequin_garret


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/30/2008 1:50 PM (GMT -7)   
I too remember this issue being brought up
I so hope that you WILL get the courage to tell hubby
THEY are not his meds
You are not a baby
I would also mention to your doc if you think something is happening with
your meds.....

Definitely as all have said this is ILLEGAL to do for him to have
your meds

Please do listen to the support and input this time and I know you can do this
We are all with you ,........LYN


 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
    CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            ~ FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE ~
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
..........LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/3/2008 5:28:22 PM (GMT-7)


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 11/30/2008 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Good grief, who does he think he is, Bible? You're not a child: you're perfectly capable of dispensing your own meds, when you need them.

I would have to disagree, though, with the people who are blaming you for your situation. Folks, let's not blame the victim here. We don't know Bible - we only read what she chooses to post here - and we can't know what her situation really is. I think it's reasonable to encourage her to get face-to-face support from someone who can get to know her properly, but I don't think it is fair to imply that it is her fault for remaining in a situation that we only suspect is controlling and / or abusive.

We don't know Bible; we don't know her husband, and it's impossible to really understand a relationship until we've been in it ourselves. Bible has come to us for support. Let's not be overly critical, please.

Ivy.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


CrohnieToo
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 9448
   Posted 11/30/2008 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Gretchen, I stole that sig from someone else - someone else who also wasn't able to credit the original owner of the quote. Go ahead, use it and enjoy! I have!
Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.


Zanne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3763
   Posted 11/30/2008 5:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I would just like to add that Yes we don't know where Bible is coming from or where her husband is coming from. My husband's mother is both a prescription drug addict and an alcoholic. So I am very sensitive to addition issues and in particular my husbands attitude to pain medication. That is one of the reasons that I insisted that my doctor send me to a pain clinic for my pain medication needs. That way we both know that things are monitored and I know that my pain needs are met. This might be something that could help ease your husbands mind, while still allowing you to have the peace of mind to know that when you need relief you will have it. Take him with you but discuss openly with the doctor what is going on so that the doctor can make it clear that him posessing your meds is NOT acceptable.

Please know that we are here for support and not for any form of judgment.
Suzanne

CD 19 years offically, 29 unofficially. 3 resections '93, '95 '97
Symptoms constantly but all tests show only minor ulcerations. Currently having multiple episodes of gastritis with no known cause.


Prednisone, 6MP,Prevacid, B12 shots, Bentyl, Xifaxan.....


LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 11/30/2008 6:45 PM (GMT -7)   
"Either way, Ann Landers always said people can't use you for a door mat unless you let them. No truer words were even spoken."
And many, many realistic people have always said 'easier said than done.'
Especially with someone you love. I agree with ivy...judging Bible won't help her. She asked for advice, not censure.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone(down to 10 mg), pentasa, bentyl as needed, prilosec, tandem plus, humira, and good probiotics
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.
http://weblog.xanga.com/harlequin_garret


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 11/30/2008 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
The first step is recognizing that you are in an unhealthy relationship - you have reached the first step and I hope you have the courage to stretch for step 2 and seek help in fixing the relationship or leaving the relationship.
27 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3459
   Posted 11/30/2008 8:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Bible,

Please know that we are upset but we are NOT judging you.  I am sure you love your husband.  That complicates this a lot.  We all care about you and want you to be able to manage your pain with the dignity you deserve.  Please let us know how you are doing.  I hope you can get this sorted out.  Take good care.


Gretchen       co-moderator MS board       diagnosed with MS July 2006
 
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.


Panayo
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 246
   Posted 11/30/2008 10:19 PM (GMT -7)   

Bible, and others..

     Mostly, I don't like to post too much because I'm so out of touch with the drugs, etc. that are used for Crohn's these days.

     But, I feel compelled to sort of let you get an idea of what the opposite end of the picture looks like.   My wife, Christina had spinal Stenosis for over thirty years.  When doctors saw her Xrays that showed quite a few of her vertabre had collasped and were resting on her nerves, they knew how much pain she had to be in.  A surgical solution was out of the question because there was no such thing as a new spine with all of the trimmings so they didn't mind giving her high octane pain pills.

     They started, when they became available, with 3 500/325 mgs a day of percocet.  This went on for about close to a year, when they and she decided she wasn't getting enough so they increased it to 5 percocets a day.

     Now, because I was a (good?) husband and knew how much she was hurting, I never told her when or how many to take, I was convinced how much she was hurting and felt it my duty and responsibility to make sure she had what she needed, and the doctors even the pain clinic doctors whenever they saw pictures of her spine would agree to the advance in number of pills.  (I asked her to go to the pain clinic so her regular doctor would have back-up if he needed it), but she had the same doctors through her ordeal, And the same group of doctors perscribed all of her pills.

     Later on, they decided, because of new procedures, they would try to do something to her spine so that she might be a little relieved of some of the pain and in the meantime she was required to wear a pace maker for her Heart.  And me being the really (wonderful husband?) that was going to see that my wonderful wife was going to get everything she needed for pain or any thing else she needed for her health.

     To make a long story short, my wife did have the surgery, a week later she died of heart failure.  That was three years ago.  The year she died with the help of her doctors, the surgeon, and me, the (wonder husband?)   The drug bill alone was over $44,000.00. please don't missunderstand, I never minded the expense.  I had become very successful, kids had all grown up, when whe was feeling good we traveled, we had a wonderful life together, she was my best friend, we cared for each other like mother-hens, when she died, we had been married 55 years.  She was one of the early dental hygienist in the state of Georgia since 1956 and she was also an Artist (over 100 of her paintings hang in my house today).

     As a point of addiction to drugs let me say this.  I don't care if you'r hurting or not, if you take Percocet or Oxycontin you'r going to get addicted.  And in my opinion, if you can control when you are going to take them, you don't really need them.  about six months before her surgery she was taking 10 (10x325)percocets a day and eight 20mgs of Oxycontin a day, all with doctors permission.

     Is Bibles husband such a bad guy,? I don't know.  Should I have been more like him,? I don't know.

     By the way Christina was 75 years old when she died, I'll be 81 in February, I've had severe Crohn's for going on 53 or 54 years now, nine surgeries including 6 major resections that cost me 60 percent of my intestines, and since I stopped listining to my doctors about twenty years ago, and decided then that I would do my own doctoring, I have not had another episode of Crohn's that I couldn't handle on my own.

     In all of the years I've had Crohn's there was only the time when I had a blockage and my wife was taking me to ER room when the doctor told me to go ahead and take one of her percocets and he would meet me at the Hospital.  That's the only pain pill that I ever took, he was strictly against pain pills and I knew why, that's why I never took but that one pill, on the way to the hospital.

     .  Respectfully


donnaeil
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1156
   Posted 11/30/2008 11:08 PM (GMT -7)   
You need to leave him period. I worry that if you lock up your pills he will escalate his controlling behavior. I do warn you though, abusers are often worse when you leave them.

Find a shelter, make reservations and move in. Even if all you have is the clothing on your back. I hope you do not have children.

Donnaeil

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 12/1/2008 7:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Panayo,
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife, but please please do not blame yourself. In all honesty it sounds like your wife died more from having a failing body (which while on the young side of the normal life expectancy is more years then either one of my parents will see), then from any drug. I mean was your wife incompetent in any way? Would she have even tolerated having her personal intergrity questioned? Would a loving husband even do so? In all honesty as compent adults we are in charge of our own health and well being, even our doctors are just merely consultants. No one else is responsible for our health. We are responsible for our own health. Your wife knew the risks and decided to do what is in her best interest and what might give her the best quality of life. This is a gamble we all take everyday.

Addiction can be treated, but it is something complete different then what we are talking about here. But please never assume that everyone is going to get addicted to oxy or per if they happen to take them for an extented period of time. When I broke my back (and several other things) a couple years ago and I took them. I was offered them for crohns, but decided against them and in fact do not take pain meds right now.  So I just blew your addiction theory out of the water.
________________________________________________________________________________
I think a fundimental issue is the problem with women (or any competent adult) being treated like they are not competent adults who do not know what is best for their own health. Or any person who is a competent adult, that is being treated like a child, there is inherent relationship problem if this carries on. Whether it is a husband, mother, or doctor, etc. it is an issue that needs to be addressed and corrected.  None of us who are competent adults would want our health and wellbeing to be someone else call.  In fact Panayo gave us a great example in himself.  Who in the world (if they are competent) would want their crohns (and overall health) care to be someone's call?


Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 12/1/2008 8:24:03 AM (GMT-7)


Zanne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3763
   Posted 12/1/2008 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Panayo, you are talking tolerance not addiction. Addiction you take the pain medication to get some form of high or when you don't need pain relief. Pain tolerance is that your body needs more medication to get the same level of relief. There is a huge difference. Bible's husband seems to want to control her access to her pain medication, also another issue altogether.

I know my body has a high tolerance to pain meds. It takes more medication to relieve my pain or to sedate me for tests. But I can go days or weeks with out taking anything and suffer no ill effects, I couldn't do that if I were addicted to pain medication.
Suzanne

CD 19 years offically, 29 unofficially. 3 resections '93, '95 '97
Symptoms constantly but all tests show only minor ulcerations. Currently having multiple episodes of gastritis with no known cause.


Prednisone, 6MP,Prevacid, B12 shots, Bentyl, Xifaxan.....


spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 12/1/2008 8:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Zanne said...

I know my body has a high tolerance to pain meds. It takes more medication to relieve my pain or to sedate me for tests. But I can go days or weeks with out taking anything and suffer no ill effects, I couldn't do that if I were addicted to pain medication.


I had my first dose of pain meds (morphine for an obstruction) when I was 27. For the next couple years, I had pain meds while in the hospital a couple more times, but not at home. Just those small amount made me really tolerant to pain meds. They really have to give me a lot to knock me out for colonoscopies, and when I had a bronchialscope to get some samples from my lungs (I had valley fever), they COULDN'T knock me out. They gave me as much as they could, and then went ahead and did it with me awake shocked. It's crazy how a person can build up a tolerance so fast.

A year ago (I was 32), I had severe pain from crohn's that just wouldn't go away. I was given at home pain meds (oxycodone) for the first time. I didn't want to run out of pills, so I took only 1/2 a pill at a time 3 times a day. I did this for about 3 or 4 months, and couldn't have got though the summer without them. My insurance finally approved entocort for me, and within a week the pain was gone. And I quit taking the pain meds, no problem. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who took pain pills and then easily stopped when they were no longer needed. You're not going to automatically get addicted. But I will say this...I could see how some (certainly not all) people could get addicted. When I took oxycodone, I would get a feeling of euphoria within 15 minutes to 1/2 an hour. It was a great feeling! Not enough to abuse the pills once the pain was gone, but great none the less.

LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 12/1/2008 8:44 AM (GMT -7)   
"I don't care if you'r hurting or not, if you take Percocet or Oxycontin you'r going to get addicted. And in my opinion, if you can control when you are going to take them, you don't really need them."
Panayo..I have to offer my condolences as I can't imagine how hard that was, and it sounds like you did everything you could.
But, I have to disagree on the above quote. I do control when I take them, and when I actually do I NEED them badly or I spend days crumpled over, not eating, and in tears from the pain. I might agree if the pain were so consistent in everyone, but some days it is there and some days it isn't..as I'm sure you well know..
Please understand I'm not trying to be rude, but it's hurtful to hear people say things like that sometimes because in others it really does have negative, judgmental implications.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone(down to 10 mg), pentasa, bentyl as needed, prilosec, tandem plus, humira, and good probiotics
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.
http://weblog.xanga.com/harlequin_garret


Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/1/2008 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
I hate to use this as an answer but it fits in this case. God made woman from the rib of Adam, not a bone from his foot. That is because man and woman are to be at each others side, your not to be under his foot. Hope this puts things in perspective....
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

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