Hi Navy how are you doing?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
27 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/3/2008 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Navy was wandering if you are doing OK and how are you feeling ? Have you been getting any better. Keeping my promise to you to look after you. Don't be a stranger and keep in touch. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 12/3/2008 7:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I am here, just having a minor melt down about the DNR on my Mom's hospital wrist bracelet. Just breathe...
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 12/3/2008 7:42 PM (GMT -7)   
(((Navy))) Have you been able to talk to her about it?

It's so hard when a parent chooses to let go. I had similar issues with my mother, who died last year. I know you won't be able to find much comfort now, but it might help you to know that, for me, when my mother did eventually die, it became a real comfort to know that she was ready to leave, and hadn't had her life snatched from her before she was ready.

That doesn't stop it from being hard on you, though. It's horrible being the person who is left behind.

Huge hugs.

Ivy.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 12/3/2008 7:43 PM (GMT -7)   
ps. And you're right, Navy, just keep breathing through it. There are some days when that's all you can do. *hug*
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


SydneyJo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1354
   Posted 12/3/2008 10:42 PM (GMT -7)   
((((NAVY))))

Texan with Crohn's
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 12/4/2008 4:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Navy -

:) {{BIG BIG BIG HUGS}}

DNR is tough. When mom was on life support and being moved over to the cabbage patch unit, I remembered the promise I made her that I wouldn't leave her on life support. I complied but it was too darn heart/gut wrenching, as I saw she was fighting to live. I recanted and she made it. It is a horrible horrible feeling watching, being right there and doing nothing, in compliance to your mother's wishes... I wrecked my truck four times during this time... FOUR! I understand what you are feeling... and I do not take it lightly.

If I remember correctly, your mom is pretty sick right? I am here -- we are here. Talk. BUT I also understand if you do not feel like talking. Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

-Leslie

gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/4/2008 5:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Navy I know it's hard and I am sure your Mom has thought about these days and if it were me or you I am sure that we would want the same. Seeing it though sure makes it more real.Letting go is a hard thing to do but suffering for long periods in time is hard. How are you doing with the bleeding has it slowed? You have your little niece to help with this ,I find knowing there are others to share life with helps us. Hope you can see her often. How are your Brothers holding up sometimes men have a tendency to hold things in. I know you will find the inner peace you need to get threw this, lots of love. gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 12/4/2008 7:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Part of it is I am wondering if she is giving up (she just nixed her palliative chemo yesterday) because she does not want to be a burden to us kids.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/4/2008 7:44 AM (GMT -7)   
((((MMMNAVY)))) you and your Mom are in my prayers..
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis. Currently my Crohns is in remission.


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/4/2008 10:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Navy did she say she didn't want to be a burden or is it that she finds the chemo hard. I know my Brother just couldn't take it because he felt it didn't help him . I take it she is able to talk with you. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 12/4/2008 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
yes, she is able to talk. She does a good job of not wanting to worry us.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/4/2008 1:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi She sounds very sweet. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


Texan with Crohn's
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 12/5/2008 5:01 AM (GMT -7)   
{{SIGH}} Moms...

My mom does that too. She's only got one lung and COPD and a nodule in her good lung... she's not out of the woods, but she plays everything off and pretends all is well in the world. You know what I do, MM? I pin her down and 20-question her until she gets so darn mad she talks. I don't do evasive when I see she's in pain or something is wrong. I badger and badger until she gets mad and then keep badgering. I know this sounds mean, but I get the answers I seek. If I didn't I wouldn't know a darn thing. Like your mother, I know she's trying not to worry us.

Heck, my father is the same way. He's got that darn aneurysm that's nearing the burst point and he won't talk about it at all. So.... I dismiss my mother from the room (he def. won't talk in font of her) and start in on him until I get answers.

I don't think that generation understands that it is maddening to us not to know what the heck is going on. I piss 'em off often, but at least I know what's going on.

MM -

get in there and don't let her shrug you off, if you really want to know what's going on inside her head. But that's your call. I promise you from experience that she won't stay mad for long... but she will be mad at first. :) I'm here if you need me.... anytime... anywhere, my friend.

-Leslie

gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/5/2008 5:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Good morning Navy so how's your schedule going this week ? Are you taking time off classes and getting any rest? I won't even mention eating.How much time are you putting in at the hospital? lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 12/5/2008 6:19 AM (GMT -7)   
trying to do classes and get to the hospital...no solid food...
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/5/2008 6:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sure hope you are on ensure or boost to help keep your body built up .Jello is probably in the fridge I bet. Doing creamed soups? lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 12/5/2008 4:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Navy, is there someone in your mother's palliative care team that you can talk to? There should be a support worker assigned to help carers: a psychologist or a counsellor or someone like that. They deal with this sort of stuff all the time and might be able to talk the issue through with both of you, separately.

Once the palliative care team is aware of what's troubling you and your mother, they may be able to help. For instance, if your mother is worrying about being a burden, they may be able to set her mind at ease or even provide a bit more in-home support so she can feel a little more independent. If pain is getting her down, they might be able to help her with pain management.

It sounds to me as if you both need someone to talk to. I hope the support is there for you.

Ivy.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


CrohnsPatient
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 314
   Posted 12/5/2008 4:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Navy your in my prayers everyday, your such a good person and I wish the best for you and your entire family, your always here for us, now its time for us to be here for you.

Very good advice Ivy, I always love reading your posts.

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 12/5/2008 5:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Unfortunately since my Mom went to the ER the hospice discharged her. ARGH...so we have to fight to get her benefits back. SO no palliative care time right now.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 12/5/2008 5:15 PM (GMT -7)   
You're joking. Navy, that's both ridiculous and cruel. I'm really, really sorry.

What about the hospital chaplain, then? Could you talk to him / her? Failing that, there might be a pastoral care person attached to your hospital, and failing that, even the nurse in charge of the ER or your mother's ward might be able to talk to you.

As far as I know, hospitals have to do some sort of mental health assessment before they'll assess a patient's instructions not to resuscitate, so *someone* there should have a reasonable understanding of why your mother has made this decision.

I.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


dunny2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 12/5/2008 6:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry Navy, I had no idea what you've been going through. My thoughts are with you honey.

Don't forget to take of yourself right now. Please try and talk to your Mom. I had no time to talk to mine. 2weeks following major
surgery for aggressive colon cancer, my mother started to have chest pain, while she was still in the hospital (she was due to go
home the next day). When it got so bad they asked me to leave the room. Five minutes later a doctor came to see me with regard
to DNR. He told me that my Mom had only got a few months left to live, and she would be in devastating pain. So I had to make the
decision for no heroics. She died, 15 minutes later. I still question my judgement, would she have made the same call? Lots of if's ands,
& buts. Perhaps your Mom is sparing you from this pain...Non the less my heart goes out to you and your mother.
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
B12 Shots bi-weekly

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...


ski bum
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 451
   Posted 12/5/2008 7:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry Navy. You sure have a lot to deal with. I hope your mom at least got some relief in the ER. Take care of yourself.
50 y/o F. CD dx'd Aug 05. Initially on Pentasa, then Imuran 125 mg. Started Humira (very reluctantly) on 10/24/07. Ileocolectomy 4/08. Back on Pentasa as maintenance.


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/6/2008 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Navy was thinking about you and your Mom this morning and was wandering if she has Sister's or Brother's.Just wandering if your have some Aunt's and Uncle's that would be visiting her. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


Texan with Crohn's
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 12/6/2008 12:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey there, sweetie. Stopped in just to say hi and see how you were doing. No time to read this afternoon... gotta go see the kiddo's orchestra performance. Will stop back in and catch up later.

-Leslie

gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/7/2008 2:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Navy check in when you get some time to yourself. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
27 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 11, 2016 1:18 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,736,238 posts in 301,363 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151453 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, LvGuy1.
158 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
bluelyme, Girlie, Nomar Lupron 4 Me, celebrate life


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer