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Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/11/2008 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm a crohnie , no bologna , doctors say their sure
after spelunking up my rear one hundred times or more
A new endeavor , it's forever , there is no cure they say
incontinent and flatulent until my dying day.
 
So it's been pills and tons of bills , I tell you it's been hard
but last year Uncle Sam sent me a new SSD card.
Now its confusion and infusions , the fun just never ends
and this year if I'm lucky I'll get , some boxes of Depends
 
The latest thing is joint pain, Sponda something is the call
now when I have to hurry , I can hardly move at all
I'm in a bind come hurry time , I tell you I can't take it
when rushing to the bathroom , most times I just don't make it
 
So this year when I make my list to send to Santa Clause
I'll keep it brief cause briefs I need, Oh Santa,,bring me drawers
a walking stick to make me quick , a brand new can of Glade
and rolls of paper towels to clean up the mess I've made
 
Oh Santa bring me patients for the doctor calls I make
for I always get nurse Ratchet , The worse pill I have to take
She's always rude and curt and crude , I hope you know the kind
it seems that every time I call theres a bee up her behind
 
I guess thats all I can recall , you'll do your best I'm sure
I don't suppose that in your bag, you just might find a cure
for I can take the pain you see , theres something worse my friend
Yes there's the chance I'll crap my pants each time that I break wind...
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


Margie11
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 467
   Posted 12/11/2008 5:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Sniper,
You've done it again great poem. You must have been inspired by Randy, cuz you really put your finger on the situation.
I talked to Santa and the local weatherman (Gary England-from the movie Twister) and they both told me they can't send you much of the snow from here in Oklahoma because it will interfere with Your Magic Gators. If you look to the west this morning, you may see some, but it will soon be gone, so look quickly! Our snow and sleet was gone as fast as it came. I hope it means you and your Gaters are planning a Christmas Eve stop right here. Hope to recieve many of the items listed in your post, and a new drug to help me move faster through the pain, so I to will make it to the throne on time. I hopr the sled is as well equiped as that office pic that Randy posted. VV will be thrilled that the you were nearly touched by the snow.
              Never go faster than your guardian angel can fly!                  
     Be Patient And Tough, Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You 
 
 Crohn's for life, symptoms included terrible joint and soft tissue pain, just met first cousin who suffers from Reactive Arthritis-explains sooo much. Great control on SCD (when I'm good) and I get by with a lotta help from my friends!
                                                Margie11


Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/11/2008 6:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Margie, we had some sleet about 3AM but not much. Just cold and wet. Not enough for me to borrow VV snow shovel. You guys watch out for the twisters . Speaking of that looks Like Randy may have a little twister in his belly . Maybe Santa will bring him an answer to that one. As for the poem , I dont know where that came from ,,just sort of started rolling around while I was trying to sleep. Fat chance of sleeping so I sat down and wrote it up. I hope people like it. There are just so many very serious post here lately and I dont have answers so I try to bring a smile or two. Not many people post back to my silly stuff so I dont know if it helps. Thank you for smiling for me.
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/11/2008 6:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sniper maybe you need to send the bee in your Bonnet..whoops hat, a rose. When something's gone sour it is best to sweeten it as fast as you can .Heard the snow was coming furthur south last night. So excited to know it's making it's rounds. I got the snow thrower in front of the TV and have threatened to put it under the tree. VV would be thinking I'am his kind of woman eh! Yes Randy has come across a strange phenomenom and I cain't for the life of me decide which way to go with his DX. Any thoughts.. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/11/2008 6:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Thankfully for Randy, I'm not a doctor but it sounds like part of his intestine is very close to the surface or trying to escape the confines of his body. I dont know what could be done for that but I am sure it needs to be addressed. Old VV would hit it with a snow shovel. Snowhare would pun it . C2 would sweep it away. Bull frog Ken would shoot it. Yep good thing there are real docotrs out there. As for nurse Ratchet, I have tried charm but if I sent flowers I think she would clip the roses and keep the thorns.
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


Margie11
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 467
   Posted 12/11/2008 6:49 AM (GMT -7)   
He needs to check it out, in case it is cardo-vascular issues.
              Never go faster than your guardian angel can fly!                  
     Be Patient And Tough, Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You 
 
 Crohn's for life, symptoms included terrible joint and soft tissue pain, just met first cousin who suffers from Reactive Arthritis-explains sooo much. Great control on SCD (when I'm good) and I get by with a lotta help from my friends!
                                                Margie11


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/11/2008 6:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sniper the same with my butt I got an escaping hemmie and I'am am laughing so hard I think the nuts are setting in or in my case out. Thank heavens I'am a woman cause I'd hate to have to spend my life sitting on them.lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/11/2008 7:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I love it Sniper. You always have a way with words. Thanks for sharing.
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis. Currently my Crohns is in remission.


mj8dokken
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 149
   Posted 12/11/2008 9:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Sniper, it's great that you have a sense of humor after all you've been through. Love the poem! (and the statement of Nurse Ratchett keeping the thorns-I know a few people like that myself)

Bad flare May '06 resulted in CD diagnosis
 
Asacol: 4800 mg/day; Entocort: 9mg/day; Metronidazol
Started seeing a Naturopath-Castor Oil Packs, Liquid B Complex, Floragen, Ribes Nigrum, Herbal GI, Chlorella
 
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain"


pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 12/11/2008 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the laugh sniper, as always it was entertaining which we can always use around here.

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it! LOL :)


browneyedgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 150
   Posted 12/11/2008 12:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Sniper, you are hilarious!

Hey everyone! We had TWO inches of snow here in New Orleans. Of course, now it's all melted but it was COOL while it lasted. I just hope we don't get what the snow brought last time (December 25, 2004). Hurricanes Katrina and Rita the following August......
Jennifer/34
CD since 10/2005
Entocort EC (9 mg)
 Imuran 100 mg once daily
 Lomotil as needed for cramps and D
B-12 supplement 1 mg daily
Women's Multivitamin
Biotin 1mg
Calcuim with Vitamin D 600 mgs
Pepcid AC OTC 1 daily
Synthroid (Thyroid)
New Orleans, La, US


catpower
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 192
   Posted 12/11/2008 12:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Great poem!
Diagnosed with Crohn's Disease; Meds: Entocort & Asacol; female in late 20s.


randynoguts
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6049
   Posted 12/11/2008 3:23 PM (GMT -7)   
great! what a mind...
randynoguts 



     http://www.geocities.com/randynogutsweb/


pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 12/11/2008 4:17 PM (GMT -7)   
browneyedgirl said...
Sniper, you are hilarious!

Hey everyone! We had TWO inches of snow here in New Orleans. Of course, now it's all melted but it was COOL while it lasted. I just hope we don't get what the snow brought last time (December 25, 2004). Hurricanes Katrina and Rita the following August......

You can have ur snow if you want...all it does is cause more accidents on the road...and otherwise because of having to drive slowly to get anywhere...I hate snow....and cold.
 
:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it! LOL :)


dunny2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 12/11/2008 5:04 PM (GMT -7)   
You did it again Sniper, brought a big old smile to my face. Thank you thank you !!!!
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
B12 Shots bi-weekly

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...


LBJ
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 12/11/2008 8:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Sniper that was great!
Living with Crohn's Disease since Jan./2000 but had a few years prior
I'm a true Crohnie with IBS and Arthrities too
 
Meds I have tried:  Too many to list- LOL
Meds currently on:  Methotrexate injections once a week 15mg
                           Folic Acid 1mg every day
                          
No Surgeries
 


teddybearweiser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 3042
   Posted 12/12/2008 2:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Really funny Sniper. Thanks

tbw
Hi, I am teddybearweiser, I am a male.
I was diagnosed with crohns disease when i was admitted to the hospital

in 1992, in Jan of 1993 I was back in the hospital for surgery for my crohns. I had part of my right colon resectioned with ilecolonstomy.

My GI doctor has me on Asacol, Dicyclomine,Imuran,Celebrex and Remicade. B-12 injection once a month.
Also diagnosed with Osteoarthritis and Rheumatoid Arthritis


auntkay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1199
   Posted 12/12/2008 4:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Sniper, even thru the pain you've brought a smile to my face!!!
Kay

Ne Ne
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Sniper, That was great I know how you feel. I'm trying to cover all the bases this year, say a little prayer , take to Santa ,rub a rabbets foot, maybe in spring I'll look for a four leaf clover, I'm just hoping they can help some of the things wrong. It make my day a little brighter when I read your stuff. You need to keep them all together a make a book.... I'd buy it . happy holidays.



Dawn turn yeah
49 Female
Dx June 07 Crohn's take asacol 2x3 a day ,lotrel for HBP , omeprezole for stomach , potassium , one a day crohn's & colitis therapy , calcium & Vit D , lomotil for lose stools , tramadol for pain , started humira in Feb 08 on 1 shot a week, vit-B 12 shots , crestor,
Dx Bipolar May 08


jamief
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 12/12/2008 8:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Awesome poetry Sniper! I hope Santa grants your christmas wish this year! :)

Happy holidays all!

Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/12/2008 9:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks guys, I do so like making you smile. I've been feeling poorly lately myself so this is how I make myself feel better. I cant put all this in a book because I write it on the spot and then I dont recall most of it in a few days. Maybe I need a ghost writer. When I croak and become a ghost, I'll write a book.
Brown eyed girl, the snow you got was ment for me. Old VietVet is trying to put a who doo on me but his aim is off. I warned him about playing with something he does't know about. One day he will have to change his sign on to VietToad or VietZombie..Maybe he will turn himself into something better looking.
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/12/2008 1:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Well Sniper what is going on that our poet is feeling poorly? Are you having new problems or just the same ones getting you down?lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/12/2008 7:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Ohhh Gail, just lots of things... My old gut has decided its not happy and I am having trouble calming it down because what I have to eat to do that makes my blood sugar go up and if I cant get that down by Jan. I will be on insulin. I dont want to be on insulin so I am sticking to the diabetes diet for now. Its a no win situation. I sometimes get discouraged. I worry about my wife too so its lots of things all at the same time. I know its not as bad as what some people are going through so I'll get better but I just dont bounce back as good as I once did. There is always one good thing about diabetes,,,I can off my self with chocolate cake.....
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/13/2008 6:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Well it seems it will be potty pie for you instead of cherry or apple .I used to make it for xmas eve but haven't the last two but it was a all time favorite. Are you on pred that your sugar is up? How is your lovely wife doing? I read on a post you said she was doing good so stop the worrying. Yes I was concerned about diabetetes at one time when on pred.. Perhaps smaller more frequent meals.Don't over stress yourself if you have to go on insulin then I guess you will but hoping that you can work it out.Perhaps more fish and chicken and mashed potatoes. I like ham too.Have you tried the diabectic board to get some eating tips maybe you can find some foods low enough to help .lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/13/2008 10:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Nope Gail, I am diabetic, no pred. I am doing the right diet for diabetes thats why I cant eat the starch that I want to for the old gut.
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

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