Mental state of mind after surgery

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keepinghope
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 1/3/2009 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all
 
My wife has severe crohn's. She is scheduled for preop this week. Did anyone find extreme mental problems before surgery, that changed after. She has gone 4 years on Pentasa. Lost upto 40 lbs leaving weighing 100lbs but her mind became very unstable as soon as diagnosis. I hope they can do something to help. Her pastor tried to talk her to get professional help but she does,nt see where she is ill mentally. I have always done the household duties,so she does not see where anything is different.
Any response would be appreciated shakehead

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/3/2009 6:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Many of us with this darn disease suffer with depression and/or anxiety and need anti-depressants. This disease affects your life so much, and can be so embarrassing with accidents, pain, feelings of isolation, no one really understanding what we live with. I believe if after the surgery your wife really gets relief from her symptoms, then yes her spirits will more than likely improve as her health improves. What is going on that you consider her unstable? That she doesn't want to get out bed, she isn't showering or caring for herself? Maybe what you are thinking of as unstable is just a woman very very ill, without the energy to do the usual necessities in life. This disease can literally kick your butt to where you can barely even walk. So please clarify a little. Good luck!

Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 1/3/2009 7:02 AM (GMT -7)   
While mental conditions due to medical illness (like depression and anxiety) can be much better once the patient feels better. In opposition others axis contitions can become more acute.  Those other axis disorders can definately need mental health intervention (like bp).  Convincing someone with bp to get professional help is usually difficult.  Does she have an official dx?  Because with this disease I think playing psych is a bad idea.  I would suggest something more like holistic care for her disease and that includes mental health care.


Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 1/3/2009 7:09:40 AM (GMT-7)


gachrons
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Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 1/3/2009 7:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Has your wife been on prednisone that certainly makes a person a little different mentally when on it. I found that when the body has lost alot of weight and is suffering from malnutrition it can be hard to make decisions and to focus on other things till the body starts repairing and the strength comes back.I was very fragile emotionally after my surgeries and it did get better with time and getting my body stronger. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


keepinghope
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 1/3/2009 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes my wife was on predisone,in the beginning for 3 months 4years ago, the effects were substantial weight gain,helluciation,hair growth, self esteem problems that had her involve in extra marital situation,disappearing from the house in evenings, coming home 4hours late from work, relationship problems with kids and I , Spending sprees that are none stop,creepy leg syndrome, sleep walking, sneeky, forgetful, I do 95% of laundry cooking and cleaning, I have felt so sorry for her seeing what she is going through, trying to do even more, she filed for a divorce and does,nt even co-operate with lawyers, Her son was married last summer and she would,nt be helpful at things for that either. Her doctors say she has to ask for help,hopefully before she loses all. She still goes to work every day but she has extreme difficulty associating and eatting, I felt the doctor should have requested she see a phyciatrist,councilling of some type long ago, she has not been guided very well in my thinking.

Post Edited (keepinghope) : 1/3/2009 7:44:02 AM (GMT-7)


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 1/3/2009 10:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sounds like you have had a go of dealing with your wife's illness and I know it can be hard onthe people close to us. I will say one thing though it should not lead to affairs unless there is a problem already existing .People with crohn's can feel isolated at times. Lack of eating could be from nasusea or meds and they can cause alot of sideeffects. I hope your wife will do better soon .How is her crohn's disease now?lol gali
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


Pommom
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 1/3/2009 10:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello keepinghope,
Thanks for posting. I can see where you're coming from. As I have more bad days than good days. My husband does more of the house duties then i do, also.I am hoping for the best for you and your wife. What a great name,,keepinghope. Please continue to do that.
Julie
 
Diagnosed  Crohn's, 1998..Gangrene Small Bowel,1998..Ostomy Take Down,1999..TPN for 5 1/2 months..Adhesion Removal,1999..Abdominal Hernia Repair,2000..Kidney Artery Bypass,2001..Diabetes,,Sleep Apnea,,Silent Heart Attack,,Blocked Kidney Artery after the Bypass..MEDS--Lomotil,Purinethol,Folic Acid, Fish Oil,Remicade,Levsin SL,Anamantle Cream,Cortifoam ,Ultram.and many more. 26 meds..

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 1/3/2009 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Keepinghope, I feel uncomfortable saying much more then seek professional help for the family. Because this effects your entire family.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
...I will find a way, or make one. -Philip Sidney 1554-1586
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...


keepinghope
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 1/3/2009 1:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all
Her crohn's right now is not good, she does not eat well, she get confused and tired very easy. She does not really communicate her feelings to me but I cann tell by reactions she has to things. She had tests 2 weeks ago now I see she has to be at another hospital at 7:30am this week. She has not told doctors or councillors her real feelings because she believes she can go through things on her own. I've tried telling her she is going to need the girls and I to get through it.

gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 1/3/2009 4:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi It is amazing sometimes the strength that we do have and has she had her B-12 checked as it can help with the tiredness at times vitamins are good too .Does she have a support group or do you, that can help. I know being here has been a great comfort to me and the info I have gotten is great. It is good of you to try to seek some help for her and understanding on your part is a very good thing.Hope she doea good on her medical appointment this week and if you are feeling alone keep in touch with us we will help if we can. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


keepinghope
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 1/3/2009 4:29 PM (GMT -7)   
No she is keeping everything to herself, she had an emotional affair with a male 17years younger that appears to have gone south after a one night stand I'm told. She goes off the handle for such things as me putting her clothes away or asking her to call if she is going to be late for supper knowing it would be ready. She told he I was not allowed to put a big screen in the basement I had already purchased. I spent 7 years finishing things in the home, now If the divorce is not stopped the house will be lost and she could possible end up living on her own if the kids decide to live with me

Post Edited (keepinghope) : 1/3/2009 4:34:09 PM (GMT-7)


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 1/3/2009 5:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Perhaps she wants a little space and that is why she flies off the handle at times. I don't know how old your children are but I would think that you are worried about there future as well .Not really much I can advise you about all this other then perhaps some councelling to talk things over if she has made up her mind to end the relationship then that is a difficult thing to change and I know you are probably feeling the stress. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


Pommom
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 1/3/2009 8:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Having surgery for the crohn's was a big eye opener.i see things more differently now.when i feel ok, i enjoy the time it lasts for as long as it lasts.when i dont feel so good, i can be irritable and even more lethargic. i am blessed to have a wonderful husband that is beside me through it all.i hope things get better for you both.
 
Diagnosed  Crohn's, 1998..Gangrene Small Bowel,1998..Ostomy Take Down,1999..TPN for 5 1/2 months..Adhesion Removal,1999..Abdominal Hernia Repair,2000..Kidney Artery Bypass,2001..Diabetes,,Sleep Apnea,,Silent Heart Attack,,Blocked Kidney Artery after the Bypass..MEDS--,Purinethol,Folic Acid, Fish Oil,Remicade,Bentyl,Anamantle Cream,Cortifoam ,Darvocet, Flexeril.and many more. 26 meds..

keepinghope
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 2/10/2009 12:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all
 
She has had her resection, but is still sick every day, it has been 5 days. Do doctors ask about state of mind or did you have to bring it up?
She has suffer 8 years plus. Her seretonin level has to be low. any assistance would help
 

sammies
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 493
   Posted 2/10/2009 3:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear keepinghope--I am not a counselor but it sounds to me that your wife is dealing with many, many more emotional, mental, and physical issues aside of the crohn's. The behaviors and actions you are describing certainly could be attributed to disease or medication but they are also symptomatic of other mental sufferings.

Especially, because your wife is not willing or able to get the help she needs (which is often the case) I hope you personally and your children are setting up the emotional, psychological, and legal assistance that you need. Certainly, I am not advocating the divorce or leaving your wife, for whom you obviously care a lot, but it does sound that you are in much need of some professional direction. I am sorry you and your family are going through this and pray that things will begin to straighten out and clear up, your wife will begin a healing process, and peace will come your way.
24+ years with Crohn's/colitis; fistulizing crohn's; pentasa; started humira 7/1/08;codeine for D; sometimes supplements: MSM, e, selenium, C, B complex, multi, iron; recent meds to get through til surgery include propranolol and xanax


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 2/10/2009 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Five days post surgery is more then likely going to be sick.
I think if this is something important to you then you are going to have to ask about it. Is she still in the hospital?
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 2/10/2009 3:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree with sammies about the fact that she may have something else going on mentally besides what's happening with Crohn's. Does she still hallucinate (and how often?).... She didn't let you put the TV in the basement... Did she say why... and did it not make any logical sense at all? *You said she had trouble 'associating'... I'm taking this to mean that she's not communicating very well and perhaps not making any sense* I'm no psychiatrist or anything... and I highly recommend... like the others... that you get her some kind of professional help... She can't go on like this... and the longer she goes on without help, the worse it is going to get...

This kind of thing raises red flags for me... because I have a mother with extreme mental illness....
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


keepinghope
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 2/10/2009 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Sammies
I tried talking to 2 of her doctors and they can do nothing unless she asks and she feels she has no problems. both doctors and her councilor admit she has a emotional problem which they feel may change after surgery due to her pain of 8 years hopefully will be gone. She wants to control everything in the house and what everyone does that lives in the house. Time will tell I have spend enough on lawyers already, I'm trying to protect my kids the best I can and provide a as normal life as possible.

keepinghope

onthecan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 318
   Posted 3/30/2009 7:43 AM (GMT -7)   
confused  I KNOW SOME WHAT ,WHAT SHE IS GOING THROUGH SOMRTIMES I GET SO DOWN AND ON THE PITY WAGON WITH QUESTIONS LIKE WHY ME MAYBE THEY MADE A MISTAKE MAYBE ITS SOMETHING ELSE,NOW I KNOW DIFFERENT I HAD MY DISEASE FOR 17 YEARS FOUND OUT WHEN I WAS 13 I AM 35 NOW I WAS SO SCARED AND SURGERY IS A WHOLE NEW BALL GAME YOU WORRY AM I GOING TO WAKE WITH A COLOSTOMY ON MY SIDE IS IT GONNA BE SO PAINFULL THAT I WONT BE ABLE TO GET UP BUT THAT IS WHY THEY HAVE PPP THE PAIN PUMPS. WHY DOESNT YOUR WIFE CHAT WITH ONE OF US ON LINE IT HELPED ME ALOT YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR ALL ALONE WHEN YOUR SICK AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS BUT WE DO WE HAVE BEEN THERE SO MANY TIMES,I STILL CRY EVERY TIME I GO TO THE OR cry FOR ANY SURGERY THERE ARE AMILLION THINGS THAT GO THROUGH YOUR MIND NOT ONE GOOD THING AND I THINK MORE SO FOR A WOMEN WE ARE SUPPOSE TO BE THE GLUE OF THE FAMILY THE HOMEMAKER THE COOKER THE HOUSE KEEPER THE EVERY THING AND WHEN WERE SICK WE DONT CARE ANY MORE I SHOULDNT SAY THAT I WOULD LOVE TO MAKE MY HUSBAND DINNER AND KEEP A CLEAN HOUSE WHICH I DO BUT WHEN I AM SICK ITS TO HARD I SAY HELP HER BE SUPPORTIVE IN ANYWAY AND FOR GODS SAKE DONT EVER SAY YOU UNDERSTAND CAUSE NO ONE DOES ONLY THE PEOPLE THAT ARE IN HER SHOES.PLEASE TELL YOUR WIFE SHE IS NOT ALONE THIS IS A GREAT SITE AND IF SHE DONT WANT TO TALK FOR EVERYONE TO SEE SHE CAN GO TO ANYONES WEBSITE THIS IS MINE jenniferbowser@easrlink.ca AND ON THIS SITE ITS ONTHECAN NO SPACES. I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON MRS.CONFUSED. YOUR BUDDY ON THE NET JENN. yeah


onthecan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 318
   Posted 3/31/2009 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
cool  Hey husband how is your wife doing today? This disease can bring you down if you let it easier said than done right try and keep her mind busy i mean take her somewhere were you used to go together years ago and see if that will bring back your wife we all get like this sometimes its hard frustrating and poison if you asked me but i talk alot to people like this that can relate to what i am talking about maybe someday your wife will join us here i hope so tongue . Please tell her that this is not the end of the road its just a little bump in the road and she might not realize right now but she has the strengh for this we all find it sometimes we search a litttle harder and there is bumps and pot holes every where but we learn to steer our cars right through them like they were jello. Best of luck to ya both tell your wife i am sending her hugs. Your bowel buddy Jenn. yeah
i love this site a friend found it for me.Another one would ccf crohnes and colitis foudataion


keepinghope
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 4/13/2009 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all. Mentally she is more calm but still thinks she can control everyone. The problem now is the lawyer says she has to stop divorce proceedings before the legal system time frame forces her into the court room. Which she is not going to accept and what is the pressure going to do for her crohn's. her doctors have said they can help but she has to ask. She has been waited on hand and foot. If she has to look after herself living on her own. Doctors response THATS HER CHOICE

onthecan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 318
   Posted 4/14/2009 3:16 PM (GMT -7)   
keepinghope said...
Hi all. Mentally she is more calm but still thinks she can control everyone. The problem now is the lawyer says she has to stop divorce proceedings before the legal system time frame forces her into the court room. Which she is not going to accept and what is the pressure going to do for her crohn's. her doctors have said they can help but she has to ask. She has been waited on hand and foot. If she has to look after herself living on her own. Doctors response THATS HER CHOICE
I am so sorry for what your going through has your wife planned on getting a divorce before she got sick is she blaming you for her getting sick i hope not sounds like you could use the support more than your wife things will work out for sure maybe not the way you want but the way they are suppose to and again i am so sorry keepinghope.Keep your eyes open and listen to everything she says keep on your toes bud that is all i can tell ya?Your buddy on the net Jenn yeah

Had Crohns 17 years had numerous bowel resections,fistulas,fissures,hemmies,kidney problems,fibro,arthritis,dignosed at 13 had GI feeding tube,nasal feeding tube,cental lines,ports,4 ruptured bowel emergency surgeries,TMJ,depression,current meds are Hydromorphone,30 ,Hydromophome,8 ,Ketoprofen,100 ,Trazadone,50 ,Lorazepam,10 ,Zopliclone,5 ,atriplyine,75 ,Losac,50 Tylenol Athritis ,B-12 injections ,Iron injections ,Gravol,75 Predisone,5mg ,Humira,40mg once a week.Still looking for the doctor with all the answers if you find him forward him to me please.P.S my bathroom is the nicest room in my house cause i spend so much time there,i am thinking about installing the computer and maybe a hot-dog stand.


keepinghope
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 4/15/2009 5:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jenn
The crohns came first, then 2 years later she filed for the divorce, BUT nobody knows when the affair started with him who was 17 years younger, the strange actions started as soon as she was diagnosed with crohn's helucinations, extensive weight gain creepy leg syndrome, unable to stay still in bed, body changes all after being put on predisone. But the doctor said it would not cause all this

broomhilda
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1488
   Posted 4/15/2009 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Keepinghope- You and your family are in my prayers. You are a hero! I was raised by a parent with a serious mental illness. If your wife will not seek help on her own, you NEED to get yourself and the children in family counseling ASAP! It took me until my 30's to get rid of all the baggage my mother's illness inflicted on me. Her influence whether intentional or not is setting a stage for your children's future and their ability to have "normal" relationships and healthy self esteem which will be vital to their success in their lives. Drop the housework for 2 days a week and take everyone to counseling...it is more important! If your financial situation makes you uncertain you can afford this please call your local hospital or mental health facility for any information regarding programs of financial assistance. As to her improving after surgery, she may have reduced pain and feel better physically and emotionally, however, she is NOT coping with this disease. It still is going to take months before her body is able to adjust from this "major' surgery. It sounds as if you still are very much in love with her or you wouldn't be here trying to save your family and your relationship. I know staying in this daily fight for her mental and physical health is draining you dry. If her doctors are not willing to address the situation more aggressively I would suggest you speak with the therapist about the laws in your state in getting her care without her consent. Unfortunately, it sounds as though the doctor's hands are tied because of the law there. If you choose to continue persueing mental health care for her be prepared to have to play patient advocate in directing that care. Ask yourself if you are willing to do this. If you are not prepared for this battle you are going to have to learn how to build an emotional sheild in order to deal with effectively with the unacceptable behavior she is inflicting on the family. Again, a therapist can give you the tools you need to address this situation. She is sick and it is her mental state of mind that is causing this behavior as you have already indicated. Having said all this...she may simply be trying to push you away from her because after all...when you married her YOU didn't sign up for this illness and she may feel so alone attempting to deal with the Crohns she feels you and the kids would be better off without her. Does this sound familar to any other Crohnnies here? Her self destructive behavior could also be a pre-cursor of severe depression in which she could become "of danger to herself" which may give you a legal avenue you need to get her help. Above all else you need to at least delay the divorce proceedings by any means necessary if the custody of the children are in question with her current mental state. God Bless You and Your Family and I Pray You Find Resolution and Peace Very Soon!
Dx'd Jan'06, 1st Resection 7/06, Humira, Imuran, B12 injections, Nexium, Lexapro, Nulev, Glucosamine, Multi-Vitamin, Calcium Citrate, Ultracet. Secondary conditions: Psorasis, Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Lactose Intolerant, gallstones, kidney stones & peri-menopausal.


onthecan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 318
   Posted 4/16/2009 6:44 AM (GMT -7)   
smilewinkgrin  Dear Keepinghope i am so sorry your going through all this i have never heard tell of any of those side effects from predisone,the rest less legs totally differnt thing it drives you crazy but she cant feel that bad to be running around that just makes my blood boil,how long have you been married and did she tell you about the other man or did you find out yourself she is using her crohns as an excuse for everything if you ask me and you are a good man for still being there your stronger than i am her actions to me is unexcepable totally i know your likely hoping the afffair will end and things will go back to normal and i am sure you still love her but you dont desire to be treated that way no one does for that matter.I hope she knows what she is doing throwing away her marriage for her own selfish pleasure i cant tell you or express how angry this makes me please dont think it was you ,she will likely tell you that it was all your fault cause she is looking for someone to blame and she wont take the resonsibilites herself,i cant imagine how hurt you must be i now i would be devestated if it happpened to me i beleive in marriage vows together through think and thin through the good and the bad what is her excuse.I am sorry i am likely making you feel worse than you already do but it just struck something in me so you keep your head up keepinghope and remember that this sint your fault or the fault of her crohns its all her fault she is a very selfish women i shouldnt judge her i know i dont even know her but actions speach louder than words she made her bed let her lie in it.Your Buddy Jenn.)))))))))))))HUGS((((((((((((( turn
Had Crohns 17 years had numerous bowel resections,fistulas,fissures,hemmies,kidney problems,fibro,arthritis,dignosed at 13 had GI feeding tube,nasal feeding tube,cental lines,ports,4 ruptured bowel emergency surgeries,TMJ,depression,current meds are Hydromorphone,30 ,Hydromophome,8 ,Ketoprofen,100 ,Trazadone,50 ,Lorazepam,10 ,Zopliclone,5 ,atriplyine,75 ,Losac,50 Tylenol Athritis ,B-12 injections ,Iron injections ,Gravol,75 Predisone,5mg ,Humira,40mg once a week.Still looking for the doctor with all the answers if you find him forward him to me please.P.S my bathroom is the nicest room in my house cause i spend so much time there,i am thinking about installing the computer and maybe a hot-dog stand.

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