Ummm Hi again-sorry just sad

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HabsHockeyFan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 3130
   Posted 1/15/2009 1:53 PM (GMT -7)   
It's been a while since I've posted.  I really only try to post when I am feeling good and things are doing well.  It's just not happening for me in the last few months.  My Cd is relatively calm actually.  I have a fissure and the big ole tags are still an issue.  No major gut pain though and not sprinting to the potty any more than usual.
My problem is I am so unbelievably down.  You would think that working from the house would be fantastic for a CD person.  Well, having my own bathroom is good, but it is soooooo lonely & empty feeling here.  And I am leaving the house less often.  When I do go out, I have to pretend I am having fun.  I hated the holidays, I hate my job, my resume was ignored since April last year, my husband is not helping, my Dad turned 80 this week and is talking about dying & the sadness about not haiving a child is still there.  Every time I feel like I am about to turn a corner, something else knocks me back.  I also found out that my big deficiency of D can cause depression.
 
Thanks for letting me dump.  It is so much cheaper than paying for a counselor.    I know what i have to do to fix this....just how to go about it hmmmmmm if only I could get a new job that would be the best way to move on.
Dx'd '90 (emergency rupture), symptoms ignored long before that, '03 fistulas and bad flagyl reactions, B12 weekly, Pentasa [until I surrender to the bigger meds]
I'm riding on the escalator of life....


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 1/15/2009 2:38 PM (GMT -7)   
(HUGS)! I have worked at home on some occassions and found it incredibly boring and lonely. I even posted about it! Try to make an effort to get out more. Can you make your own hours? Work for two then take a walk. Work for two then go for coffee. Work for two then phone a friend, etc. Hope it gets better!
27 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 1/15/2009 2:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry, I forgot this was the crohns board. Go for tea :)
27 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.


LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 1/15/2009 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Post whenever you need to yes? I'm so sorry you're feeling so down...it really is such a difficult feeling to shake. Is there anything you can do in breaks or after you're done with work just to get out like taking a walk, catching a film, or maybe joining a book/art club? Stained glass, silk printing, or water color are really great...any art in general is therapeutic and being out in a weekly group that you can do it with might help :)
I just hate that you're feeling that way..I hope you find something to help bring you happiness. And if you hate your job, keep at it sure, but definitely find a new one. There is no reason to spend years of your life doing something you don't enjoy! And I'm sure there are plenty of things you can do that you might enjoy better. Have you ever considered working as some sort of counselor or the like to help people in a similar situation? I feel like you have a lot to offer given what you've been through and are going through.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone 20 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, bentyl as needed, omeprazole in the morning, multivitamin, humira every other week, and good probiotics.
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.
Attempting a diet without refined sugars, high fat content, bleached or bromated flour, most dairy, red meat, and avoiding anything spicy like the plague. Also refuse to eat anything with trans fat or high fructose/corn syrup.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


FallColors
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1220
   Posted 1/15/2009 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I found out I was defiecient in vitamin D over the summer. I felt so sore, fatigued, and just down. I felt about 190 years old. Once I started getting supplements, it was just a matter of weeks before I started to feel better. Now I am fine -- best in a good long while! Just understanding that my soreness and depression was related to a deficieny helped me cope because I new it was going to get better. I really hope you start to feel better soon!!
Diagnosed early 2007 with rectal Crohn's.  Several peri-rectal abscesses and two fistulas with setons.  Allergic to Remicade and Humira.  Currently on 6MP.


pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 1/15/2009 9:14 PM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) Habs...seems like you're having a rash of crap going on all at the same time, better for it to be this way so the road ahead is nice and clear for happiness.

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it! LOL :)


Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 1/15/2009 9:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Habs you can get some D from sun light. You dont have to burn, just get a few minutes per day. There is a woods near my home. Its my refuge. I go there to revive my spirit. The sun is filtered by the trees but I still get enough to feel better. Its also a good place to face those decisions that are so troubling. Remember that you can always come here, not just when your doing well. We may not have the answers but we are here for you.
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


daisyrambler
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 126
   Posted 1/15/2009 10:09 PM (GMT -7)   
hugs hugs ... sorry you are sooo down ... this is a great place to dump .... and i think everyones has great ideas ... try to get out and have a be nice to habs day... someone suggested that i do that one day and it really really worked ... i did whatever i wanted to do ... i got in the car turned the music up real loud and drove to my mom and dads house ... hope things turn around for you

God bless and good luck
> 27 year old female < 
 
> Diagonsed with Crohns disease in 2000 <
 
> My Crohns is Crohn's Colitis ~ I have cd in my rectum, colon and all through my small intestine I was told today that on a scale from 1 to 4 mine is a 4 i about cried ..... I dont feel that sick : ( <
 
> Medication - pentasa(4000mg), imuran(100mg), prednisone(40mg for one more month then i get to tapper), potassium, vitamin C, multivitamin, and iron plus i will start humira in about a month <

In John 14:18 Jesus tells us ~ "I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you". He is always there for us even when we think noone else is. 


Driver37
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 93
   Posted 1/15/2009 10:14 PM (GMT -7)   
You're not alone. I've always wondered what the "mid-life blues" or "middle-aged crises" were all about. Well, I'm almost 40 now and it feels like my life is winding down. I live on the road in my truck, have no regular friends, no wife, no kids, and this chronic disease that will probably make growing old even worse. When I visit my parents I feel bad that I have not produced any grandchildren for them.

Recently I took a vacation to the southern coast and got a room and just jogged up and down the beach each day. I realized how amazing that was considering what's happening all around the world in other countries and how most people don't have that freedom or financial capability. I know it's pretty obvious, but for a moment it just really hit me and I felt very lucky. That fleeting moment was the highlight of my vacation. But fleeting it was. I've yet still to shake the quandary within my soul which prayer might alight, but my hunger will not fight.

wrbeachbum
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 47
   Posted 1/15/2009 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel the same way. You are not alone. This is not easy and I feel like it is controlling my life now. It IS lonely because as much as people say they understand they really don't. My marriage and almost all of my relationships have suffered - including my relationship with myself and my self esteem. So, this might not make you feel better, but please know that if you feel lonely, there is someone else out here feeling the same way. :)
Trying my best!


lamb61
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 1718
   Posted 1/16/2009 4:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Aw Habs, I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. I thought about you (your signon) the other day when I was watching a Penguins game. Strange how things pop into our heads. Anyway, vent all you want that's what we are here for. Even if it's just to pop in and say good morning, it might break up your day. Hang in there and don't be a stranger!
 


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 1/16/2009 4:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Habs Put on some tunes or maybe even video a few hockey games. Hope you get feeling cheerfull soon and remember we are here and visit more often. Winter here is a bit of a slump but at least I'am in out of the cold. Go to a hockey game or find something to get you out ,it might help to sort of make a few goals to strive towards. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/16/2009 10:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry Habs I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now.  Please know that we really do care and are here for you always.  Sending healing hugs your way!

Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 1/16/2009 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Habs...just checking in to see how you are. I hope you're feeling better!!
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone 20 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, bentyl as needed, omeprazole in the morning, multivitamin, humira every other week, and good probiotics.
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.
Attempting a diet without refined sugars, high fat content, bleached or bromated flour, most dairy, red meat, and avoiding anything spicy like the plague. Also refuse to eat anything with trans fat or high fructose/corn syrup.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."

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