silly post about colonoscopies

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daisyrambler
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 126
   Posted 1/20/2009 10:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during exams were quite humorous...A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) before or after their colonoscopies:
 
                   
  1.Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going  where no man has gone before!  
 
   2. Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

  3. Can you hear me NOW?'    

 
   4. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

  5. You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally  married.'


  6. Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

  7. You put your left hand in, you take your left  hand out...'

  8. Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

  9. If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'


 10. Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'


 11. You used to be an legislator, didn't you?'

 12. God, now I know why I am not gay.'

 13. How far up did you go? I now have a sore  throat.'  

   
   And the best one of all ..........
 
  14. Could you write a note for my wife that  my head isn't up there?
> 27 year old female < 
 > Diagonsed with Crohns disease in 2000 <
 
> In 2009 I was told my Crohns is Crohn's Colitis ~ they said the cd in my rectum, colon and all through my small intestine I was told that on a scale from 1 to 4 mine is a 4 i about cried ..... I dont feel that sick : ( <
 
 > Medication - pentasa(4000mg), imuran(100mg), prednisone(40mg for one more month then i get to tapper), potassium, vitamin C, multivitamin, and iron plus i will start humira in about a month <
 
> I thank the Lord for my amazing husband and wonderful family <


teddybearweiser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 3042
   Posted 1/21/2009 2:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi thanks really funny.
Hi, I am teddybearweiser, I am a male.
I was diagnosed with crohns disease when i was admitted to the hospital

in 1992, in Jan of 1993 I was back in the hospital for surgery for my crohns. I had part of my right colon resectioned with ilecolonstomy.

My GI doctor has me on Asacol, Dicyclomine,Imuran,Celebrex and Remicade. B-12 injection once a month.
Also diagnosed with Osteoarthritis and Rheumatoid Arthritis


cutie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 1/21/2009 6:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks!!! I had my laugh for today!!!
age 41,diagnosed with CD in 11/07, Rx Pentasa 4000mg and Remicade.


SydneyJo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1354
   Posted 1/21/2009 4:38 PM (GMT -7)   

sassy28
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 1/21/2009 7:24 PM (GMT -7)   
nice to find something funny about this crazy disease!

FallColors
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1220
   Posted 1/21/2009 8:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Very funny!! Thanks for that!!  turn
Diagnosed early 2007 with rectal Crohn's.  Several peri-rectal abscesses and two fistulas with setons.  Allergic to Remicade and Humira.  Currently on 6MP.


Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 1/22/2009 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL ,,, sometimes I think my docs head is up there. Odd think is , he always finds my wallet..
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


Margie11
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 467
   Posted 1/22/2009 9:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Love the priceless rambleing! yeah
              Never go faster than your guardian angel can fly!                  
     Be Patient And Tough, Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You 
 
 Crohn's for life, symptoms included terrible joint and soft tissue pain, just met first cousin who suffers from Reactive Arthritis-explains sooo much. Great control on SCD (when I'm good) and I get by with a lotta help from my friends!
                                                Margie11


cayer
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 1/27/2009 3:18 AM (GMT -7)   
All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain ,
"Because I run all the body's systems,
so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood ,
"Because I circulate oxygen all over
so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach,"
Because I process food and give
all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs ,
"because I carry the body wherever
it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes,
"Because I allow the body to see
where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the! rectum ,
"Because I'm responsible for
waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
And insulted him, so in a huff,
he shut down tight.

Within a few days,
the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated,
the legs got wobbly,
the eyes got watery,
and the blood Was toxic.
They all decided that the
rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

The ***hole is usually in charge !!
26yrs old Diagnosed in 2000 with Crohn's surgery for perianal abscess and fistulas
currently on Imuran 100mg
Worst pain equal to child labor was after eating home made Granola...i can still hear the screams.


caroline_r
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 1/27/2009 3:27 AM (GMT -7)   
loved it hehe!
21 yr. old with crohn colitis. First symptoms in June 2003, diagnosed in March 2004. Been in remission on mesalazine till June 2006 (actually till January) and then on steroids and Imuran. Currently taking Imuran and metronidazole (was taking ciprofloxacine for a month and then switched to metronidazole). No surgeries so far.


Shynz
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 37
   Posted 1/27/2009 8:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Lol thanx for sharing those!
19/f - Diagnosed with Crohn's for 5 years. ~ Waiting to backpack through Europe ~
Western Medication - Imuran & Entocourt
Natural Medication - Probiotics
L-Glutamine
Chinese Herbs for Inflammation
Acupuncture

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