QT. Totally unrelated subject from Crohns.

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dunny2
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 1/27/2009 6:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Anyone got any good advice for a seemingly untrainable potty user. My 31/2 year old grandson will have nothing to do
with the potty or big boys toilet. We've tried all the tricks like rewards with stickers, special toys, trying to aim at cheerios!!!
But, he's too attached to his diaper, almost like security blanket!!.... My son and daughter-in-law just don't know which way
to turn, and I'm out of all suggestions, and I feel such an idiot as I successfully trained my own 2 boys...
Any advice, I feel his parents are at their wits end, any thing that you might think would help...Thanks guys xxxx
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
B12 Shots bi-weekly

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...


broomhilda
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1488
   Posted 1/27/2009 7:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I have a story...I don't know if it will help. My youngest son was rather "afraid" of his stream and we couldn't get him to hold things down while sitting. We had him sit backwards on the toilet with his legs hanging off the sides. That worked up until he was 5 believe it or not. Then the problem was getting him to turn around! I asked him one day what he would do if someone accidently walked in on him in the school bathroom since he was a big boy now and heading to school in the fall. He immediately began turning around the right way and we didn't have any more problems! I have to admit the cheerios is pretty inventive...can't believe that one didn't work! Is he in any daycare? Could it be that they are not being totally supportive of his efforts or being chastised for any "accidents"? That could ruin anything you guys are trying to do at home. Good Luck!
Dx'd Jan'06, 1st Resection 7/06, Humira, Imuran, B12 injections, Nexium, Lexapro, Nulev, Glucosamine, Multi-Vitamin, Calcium Citrate, Ultracet. Secondary conditions: Psorasis, Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Lactose Intolerant, gallstones, kidney stones & peri-menopausal.


pb4
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Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 1/27/2009 9:13 PM (GMT -7)   
My kids were both easy to potty train, one boy and one girl, mind you watching me on the pot all day made it pretty easy to train them...maybe get him one of those cool potties, one that's decorative like a car or something...bottom line is they must stick with it and consistancy is important, eventually he will potty train, when he's good and ready.

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it! LOL :)


EMom
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 990
   Posted 1/27/2009 9:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Go subliminal!!! devil

Maybe you've tried this, but.... Have you gone to the store to let him pick out some "big boy pants" with a cartoon character on them that he really likes? If not, maybe try that. Bring them home and put them AWAY--but somewhere in HIS reach, like an end table drawer. Make a big deal about the fact that you are putting them away for later, when he's ready. Every time he takes them out and asks to open them up, simply say "Oh, let's put those away. Those are for when you go on the potty" or, "we have to save those for after you go on the potty". They will be right there under his nose and they just might get under his skin--if you know what I mean! If he shows no interest in them, set them out in plain sight so the conversation comes up every now and then. You essentially stop talking about potty training unless HE brings it up, and I think he'll bring it up because those pants are soooo cool and they are right there under his nose...so tempting... Just a thought.....

If that doesn't work I would ignore the situation completely and not push him. It really sounds like you've tried everything! Lots of boys are around age 4 when they finally get it, so I wouldn't be too concerned. wink
Mom to 16 year old son diagnosed in June, 2007.
Omega 3s, digestive enzymes, probiotics, vit. C, calcium w/D3, a good multivitamin and SCD legal yogurt
Started The Maker's Diet in Sept. '07. Incorporate Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD) recipes, too.


dunny2
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 1/28/2009 7:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much for your answers. Some we have tried, some we've not... EMom, you've made me feel better about the 4 thing.
I guess he's just not ready. BTW they bought him a real cool little boys toilet, he looked at it with complete distaste!!!
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
B12 Shots bi-weekly

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/28/2009 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I had three girls myself, but I tried potty training my oldest at 2 because that's what the "experts" said we were supposed to do. It was awful with the first daughter. With daughters 2 & 3, I just let them let me know when they were ready. Both of them were 3 before they were potty trained, and my youngest grandson was 4 before he got it.

I think EMom has some great suggestions. Especially with the big boy underwear. Sometimes you can let them wear them to feel how much more comfortable they are than diapers, and that might do the trick. My personal opinion is to just let them do it on their own schedule.

Good luck,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

kimberlayn
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 239
   Posted 1/28/2009 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
There is a book called 'Potty Training in 24 hours or Less'. Its a technique used with developmentally disabled adults where I work, and my pediatrician recommended it to me 12 years ago to train my son, turned out he is high-functioning asperger's syndrome, so he was very difficult to train. He just didn't care about it at all! It's intense, and it really takes about a week of training, but the bulk of it is done in 6 hours one day. Its not for everyone, but I think anyone could get some good info from it. I'm sorry I can't remember who wrote it. Usually potty training just takes time, but some parents are really going to have to teach their kids how to potty. Its not the kids fault, and its not parents fault, its just something the kids are not picking up on their own, like some kids can cut with scissors and others need to really be taught step by step! Good luck to you guys!!
diagnosed w/Crohn's 11/06. 34f with 2 boys, a lovable dog, and a wonderful husband. <S>150 mg Imuran</S>, bentyl, entocort, vicodin as needed, Humira, metoprolol for orthostatic hypotension and heart palpitations. Bowel resection 9/07. Active disease back, darn it 8/08. 11 year old son with IBS-C, on Bentyl.


cutie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 1/28/2009 10:21 AM (GMT -7)   
My daughter was 3 1/2 when she was finally trained. I had to take the diaper away. She got the idea after about a week of running around wetting herself, I couldn't fo too many places for that week but it worked.
age 41,diagnosed with CD in 11/07, Rx Pentasa 4000mg and Remicade.


BensMom
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 57
   Posted 1/28/2009 10:41 AM (GMT -7)   

Now, I haven't tried this myself, but two of my sisters-in-law did with great success.  You have the child in the house without any underwear or pants.  They don't like the wet feeling when they go to the bathroom and will soon learn to use the potty.

For my son we used the cool big boy underwear approach.  He just couldn't wait to wear them and we had no trouble.


Nancy
 
Son Ben, 14, diagnosed 3/06
Remicade, Asacol, Multi-vitamin


justjenjen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 518
   Posted 1/28/2009 1:12 PM (GMT -7)   
I think part of it is, does the child really have control? My child had control and I knew it. However, she had no interest whatsoever in learning to use the potty. Finally, I told her if she acted like a baby by not using the potty I would treat her like a baby. No grandma's house, no cousin's house, no park, nothing. Also, no food--babies only drink yucky old formula and then take a nap. This did not sound like fun to her so later that day when she needed to pee she used the potty. She was trained at that point. For some kids they do have a control issue but for others they just don't see the point. If they have control, you gotta find 'that thing' that they are willing to go in the potty for. That was my biggest challenge. I honestly didn't think threatening to take away playing at grandma's and chicken mc nuggets would work but it did. Of course, if the child doesn't have good control then sometimes just going every hour or so to try helps...and of course time. And every mom I know says boys take forever! I know of quite a few who were over the age of 4.

gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 1/28/2009 4:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi I trained mine at 20 months should be saying that she trained herself. I bought the training underware. I really didn't need them as the first time she went she was trained and never wet herself again. I also beleave when they are ready they will go .I had a toilet seat for kids and I do beleave in get rid of the diappers in the daytime. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


dunny2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 1/28/2009 4:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I think this is the big question right now, does he really have control. I took him to the bathroom the other day, he tried his hardest
to go, but nothing came, but as he stood back, several little drips came out that he didn't even notice. So, maybe, he just hasn't
connected yet...

His Mommy & daddy think they've done some thing wrong!!!
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
B12 Shots bi-weekly

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...


EMom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 990
   Posted 1/28/2009 5:22 PM (GMT -7)   
dunny2 said...
His Mommy & daddy think they've done some thing wrong!!!


Oh my goodness! For heaven's sake, tell them no! They haven't done anything wrong! Is he their first child by any chance? Often with first children, parents have such preconceived expectations of when they believe milestones should be reached. They also compare their child to all their friend's children who may have reached milestone "A" at an earlier age. I say IT'S HOGWASH! Please tell them to relax, to know they've done nothing wrong, and to enjoy their 3 1/2 yr. old little one. He won't be that age for much longer! He will potty train when he is ready!

This reminds me of when my daughter was a baby (my first). She was 9 1/2 months old and showing signs of walking. What did I do? Encouraged her to walk whenever I could. What do you read now? All studies say the longer the child crawls, the better their coordination (she is pretty clumsy today!) and even their intelligence!!!!! I was only concerned that my cute little girl would walk. Why was I in such a hurry?!?!?!?
Mom to 16 year old son diagnosed in June, 2007.
Omega 3s, digestive enzymes, probiotics, vit. C, calcium w/D3, a good multivitamin and SCD legal yogurt
Started The Maker's Diet in Sept. '07. Incorporate Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD) recipes, too.


vadreamer1
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 196
   Posted 1/28/2009 6:35 PM (GMT -7)   
How about peer pressure? Is there a cousin or sibling? Close friend who has a child a little older? My sister's son trained himself, when he noticed his sister was getting accolades.

dunny2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 1/28/2009 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
EMom, he's their first, and mom is due with their second little boy next week. Yeah you're right with people talking about milestones,
even my own sister keeps telling them he should be trained, and that he's just being a baby, and I'm sure there are many more that
I don't know about.
I've told them to forget about it for awhile, and lets look forward to this new baby. I'm sure Aidan (who is my sunshine) will get it in the
end. He's just too busy with other stuff right now, like being a terrible 3 year old (smile).
Thanks again everyone. I'm so pleased I asked you guys. At first I wondered if I should post this thread, seeing it's way off the beaten
course, but I'm so glad I did. I should have realized by now, that I can ask you guys anything xxx
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
B12 Shots bi-weekly

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 1/29/2009 5:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Several little drips is good stuff and tell him what a good boy he is that is encouraging,those few drops shows you that he is getting the idea point it out .. .Sometimes just putting the potty away for a couple of weeks is good and always encourage never put them down as I beleave encouragement no matter how small makes them feel good about themselves which leads to bigger things.Also some kids develop slow when it comes to peeing it is nature working ..lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


dunny2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 1/29/2009 7:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Gail xx
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
B12 Shots bi-weekly

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...


Chasity102304
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 165
   Posted 1/29/2009 12:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I have a 3 yr old daughter who was paritally potty trained just before her 3rd birthday. She would pee in the potty and didn't have any accidents during the day (including nap) for about 3 months. We kept a pull up on her at night just in case but I would say after a month she was waking up dry as well. The problem was that she would NOT poop in the potty. She has always struggled some when she had a bowel movement so I tried not to make a big deal about it. My mom even said when I was little I would hide when I had to go and that I didn't like people looking at me. My daughter was the same way. 2 weeks before her third b-day we had our second daughter. I was for sure that it was going to go down hill from there, but she continued to pee in the potty. I did take her to the dr when I noticed some traces of blood in her undies after she pooped because I was concerned since I have crohn's. He said what he thought was happening was that basically she was holding it for too long and then when she did go it hurt which caused her to continue to hold it the next time out of fear. She was holding it for so long that it was pulling/tearing at the tissue (reason for the blood) when it came out. He also said that with the new baby we should absolutely not say anything negative to her when she had an accident. We finally did get her going in the #2 in the potty with some help from mineral oil but it was a long 6 month process from start to finish. Our dr also said to not be concerned until she was over 5 and not potty trained..every kid is different and learn at their own pace.
 
I know as a parent it's hard to be patient. Especially if all the other kids (who are older or younger) around you are going in the potty and your kid isn't. I wondered myself if we were doing something wrong. With the second baby I know what to do -- and I'll let her tell me when she is ready. Some suggestions they might try are putting the potty in the living room or in his bedroom where he can sit on it whenever he wants, "bribing" him with something he is looking forward to (we used our family vacation to FL and seeing mickey mouse as a incentive), asking him if he has to go potty when you go potty so he can see you doing it, letting him pick out the big boy underwear as mentioned above and most of all, whatever they decide BE CONSISTANT!!
GOODLUCK !!
Fibromyalgia DX March 2003
Crohn's DX Jan 2006 (Symptoms since 96-Misdiagnosed as "female" problems-Major flare during pregnancy in 05 which lead to DX)
1st resection July 2007
Currently on Remicade/8 weeks


petittarte
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 1/29/2009 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
When he's ready he go in the potty. One of my nieces wouldn't go on the potty for anything. When she needed to go she would ask for a diaper and this kid would sit in a soiled diaper for hours if you let her. She couldn't wear a diaper to school(pre-K) and would hold it in until she got home sooner that go on the toilet. When she was ready she started going on the potty.
Jodi

Remicade and 6MP

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