i feel like my life is passing by

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isergodur
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 831
   Posted 3/17/2009 2:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I am on disability now i am not working and basically not doing anything except trying to get my health back and taking care of my two wonderful dogs.

Everyone around me is doing there thing and i feel like i am something that no one bothers about, i am just sick and can't really do anything.

My BF is wonderful but he is always working or at school and i can't even trust him for our dogs for one day (forgets to feed them or let them out)
My parents work all day like regular people and i and don't have many friends, i actually don't feel like having friends because i am always canceling on things because of my crohn's issues so i think most people would just give up on me :(

I just feel a little sad about this whole situation, it is overwhelming.

I know lots of people are worse off than me but sometimes it is hard to see it..

I just need to vent a little bit about this situation :)

This disease sucks i have been off perdison for six weeks and i am feeling worse every day now.. And my doc just wants to wait, and i understand that but it is hard when the only thing you are waiting for is to get worse :( I am just really having a bad day today and you are the only ones who understand how i am feeling cry

But to show you the lights in my life :) these are my dogs http://poodle.synthasite.com/ and here are some fun pics of them http://dimadiva.blogspot.com/2009/03/dima-og-charly-leika.html

Hope you are all having a better day than me ;)
24 year old female
Diagonsed with Crohns disease in December 2008..
Medication - Asacol, Remicade, Entocort


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 3/17/2009 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Your poodle is a big one mine is minature and white and still has his hair on him as he hates a hair cut.... nice showing... hope your life will get off to a brighter future I know there are days when I too have felt that life could have been more pleasant and with less worries..perhaps finding something at home that will fill your needs to be more productive..gardening or painting or something ..of course when you don't feel good nothing but resting seems to help.. I sometimes look at flowers or learn about birds on the net and sometimes alot lately play bejewled as it is important to be able to something even when energy is low ..lately I have been going for walks with my teen 2KM in today wow for me at my age.. keep on looking and I am sure you will come up with something to get you threw this hump.. how much longer before you get to see your DR. ? lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


patientspiders
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 733
   Posted 3/17/2009 3:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I hear ya, Ise. This disease can definitely get you down. But, you should never belittle what this disease puts you through... it's mind-storm to say the least. You've had a lot on your plate, especially since your diagnosis is still relatively fresh... things will get better. After a year+ of doom and gloom and getting worse and worse, I'm finally on something that seems to be working. You'll find your medical cocktail of choice and be back on your feet, just don't ever take a passengers seat. If things aren't going how you think they should, never hesitate to shop around for another doc or try something new. The only way to stay sane with this disease is to stay pro-active I think.

You've got a good head on your shoulders, Ise. You'll get through this! (((hugs)))
27f, dx'd CD July '05 after 6 fistula/abscess surgeries
Remicade '05 through '08, with no other maintenance meds
Noticing a real difference with a Gluten-Free diet.
Currently on:
Cimzia (loading doses 2-12-09)
Probiotics, Digestive Enzymes, and Prednisone


isergodur
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 831
   Posted 3/17/2009 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   
gachrons said...
Hi Your poodle is a big one mine is minature and white and still has his hair on him as he hates a hair cut.... nice showing... hope your life will get off to a brighter future I know there are days when I too have felt that life could have been more pleasant and with less worries..perhaps finding something at home that will fill your needs to be more productive..gardening or painting or something ..of course when you don't feel good nothing but resting seems to help.. I sometimes look at flowers or learn about birds on the net and sometimes alot lately play bejewled as it is important to be able to something even when energy is low ..lately I have been going for walks with my teen 2KM in today wow for me at my age.. keep on looking and I am sure you will come up with something to get you threw this hump.. how much longer before you get to see your DR. ? lol gail


I will hopefully meet my doc soon. I sent him an email to tell him how i am feeling hope he will contact me soon.
i have his cell phone number and email so if there is something really bad going on i can always contact him. Hope i will be feeling better soon
24 year old female
Diagonsed with Crohns disease in December 2008..
Medication - Asacol, Remicade, Entocort


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 3/17/2009 4:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi It is good your Dr. allows you to call him if you need to .Are you feeling worse or just tired of being sick? Things will get better and I know it takes time but there are things a person can do while resting although I know the disease claims alot of our thoughts when we are having them not so good days.. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,hemmies,and still alive.lol gail


mtgman
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1289
   Posted 3/17/2009 6:27 PM (GMT -7)   
sorry you're feeling this way! i've been having a pretty bad flare for 6 months now and i'm pretty down as well.
haven't gone out with friends, don't want to eat in restaurants, don't want to go on the boat etc...
we're all going to have the tough times to make it through...this site is great for putting a smile on my face though!
try to keep your chin up and I hope you start feeling better verry soon!!!!!!!!!

LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 3/17/2009 6:37 PM (GMT -7)   
God what a feeling...this disease really is the worst kind of thief. Is there anything you enjoy doing by yourself that doesn't take too much physically? I'll write, play guitar or piano, catch up on old books and films, etc. I thought about taking up sewing again and learning how to knit or paint smaller pictures. Maybe there are things of that sort you could do to occupy your mind and have something to show for your time as well? I know they're difficult anyway too...I just know it is a really bad feeling to be at home doing nothing while your significant other is out and about and living in the outside world without you..
I hope you start feeling better...I'll be thinking about you. I really wish all of us didn't live so far away so that we would have a group of people to stay at home with haha.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone 10 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, bentyl as needed, omeprazole in the morning, prenatal multivitamin, humira every other week, and Align probiotics given to me by my GI.
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 3/17/2009 8:30 PM (GMT -7)   
My heart goes out to you as i read your note. Those days are hard. I wanted to end it all a few times at the beginning, but that is a cop-out.
Most great people are great because they have endured their trials and come out positive. (Not sure if I am writing this to you our myself)
I have learned to quilt and sew more. I have learned to knit and everybody I know got a scarf this winter. I am moving on to hats but will change to baby blankets when it get warmer. Really I want to knit a sweater sometime soon. I have learned to use the internet and found lots of help and laughs here.
I'm not to that wonderful place where I am thankful for this disease or anything, but I sure don't want to be a bitter old bag. (I still am sometimes..)
I seem to get hooked up with someone who has something worse and then I can't even feel sorry for myself. There is definitely learning to be had. I read people who stay as positive as possible have happier lives. I hope that's true.
Vent and share all you want, love hearing from you. Hope the sun comes out soon and you feel better.

aoccc
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 455
   Posted 3/17/2009 8:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Know exactly how you feel. Then one day it hit me that I was gonna have to figure out ways around all the problems and issues no matter what I had to do. God will help you around the little things, you just gotta really want it
SCD since 01, remission since 01, occasional Arby's breaks :)


Miss J
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 3/17/2009 9:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi hun,

I know exactly how you feel.

I agree with a previous poster who suggested doing some sort of fun activity that isn't too physical. Do you have any hobbies- or even interests that you've never explored because you haven't had the time? Even though you feel icky, now is the time to research those interests! :-) Personally, I've resumed my old hobbies of web design and piano playing thanks to Crohn's.

As far as socializing, I totally know what you mean. I've found that inviting friends over, having everyone bring a dish or beverage so I don't have to cook, is great medicine and lifts my spirits considerably. Even forcing yourself to entertain for one Friday night a month will do wonders. Best of all, if you're not feeling well, you can take it easier than you could if you were out of the home since you're in your own element, with your own couch/recliner.

*hugs* Hang in there...as they say, "This too shall pass".

pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 3/17/2009 9:41 PM (GMT -7)   
isergodur, I know how you feel (why do you think I have over 10,000 posts/replies here at HW), I have to say for me, if it wasn't for exercising regularly I'd be a total mess...I have 2 kids and a hubby, one kid has already moved out and in a few more yrs the other likely will too, I'm okay with that, that's why I had my kids at a young age, but I know that once my last is gone there will be less for me to do...I'm okay with that too, because like I said, I exercise regularly and it's been not only a great mental therapy, it's been great for me physically as well and it takes up as much time in a day as I allow it...boy am I ever gonna be buff once that last kid leaves home LOL.

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it! LOL :)


spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 3/17/2009 10:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I completely understand! I'm 34 years old and live with my parents in a retirement community. Fun times...NOT! My day mostly consists of sleeping and surfing the internet. Rather boring. I'd rather be going to school or something, but I think that ship sailed a long time ago (my scholarships are long gone). At least I get along with my parents pretty well (I have a great mom!). And I have a nice dog and parrot. If I were cured tomorrow, I wouldn't even know how to go about living a normal life

spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 3/17/2009 10:27 PM (GMT -7)   
LMills said...
I really wish all of us didn't live so far away so that we would have a group of people to stay at home with haha.


Isn't that the truth smilewinkgrin! We could all sit around perfecting our Wii and Xbox skills! I finally got all the fruit in Animal Crossing and am now working to create the "perfect town".

EDIT: Thought I'd share a website that always gives me a laugh, the Fail Blog. LOLcats can be funny too.

http://failblog.org/
http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Post Edited (spookyhurst) : 3/17/2009 11:36:35 PM (GMT-6)


isergodur
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 831
   Posted 3/18/2009 2:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you guys you are the best :)

I do love to knit and i must say i am really good at it.

My dogs are my main hobby and i do take part in lot of activities regarding my dogs :) and i am getting two new ones next year..
I want to become a breeder and a dog show judge one day. Hopefully my crohn's can learn to behave.

It is just so hard to be always feeling a little off and never have 100% energy. I just got a refill of iron so i am not as tired as usual.
But this truly sucks :) hehe ...

I would also say that fear is also keeping me down the fear of becoming more sick, it is always there in the back of my head. So i just need to get on with it and fix it if it happens not just wait for it to happen tongue
24 year old female
Diagonsed with Crohns disease in December 2008..
Medication - Asacol, Remicade, Entocort

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