I can't imagine your pain, but if you get any relief from the meds take them - without feeling like a junkie, does a diabetic feel like a junkie when taking insulin, of course not.
Take them when needed and hopefully some day soon you won't need them.
30 Year old Female. Dx with Crohns 2005. Currently take Imuran 50 mg. Had 3 remicade infusions which put me in remission.