Do you feel like a Martian?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

yellowfin43
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 305
   Posted 5/17/2009 6:03 AM (GMT -7)   
When I am out in public like at the grocery store or with friends at a casino I feel like I stand out. I weigh 140lbs and am slightly bent over because of arthritis in my back. Sometimes I limp because of arthritis in my knees or feet. When I look around it seems like everyone looks so healthy and over weight. It really makes me self conscious. I feel like a Martian sometimes.  I'm also single now and I have been for over a year. The women that once smiled and flirted with me now hold a door open for me. I used to be the life of the party. I'm still happy inside and I like who I am but there is no doubt that people treat me differently now that I've lost weight and don't have a skip in my step.  I want so much to meet someone new to spend time with but I feel like I don't have a chance in hell because of my appearence. I grew up being told that women just want a nice guy. That may be true but I've learned that he must be rapped in a pretty package too. When and if my Crohn's goes back into remission and I get back in shape, I will never feel the same about the values people put on others. Don't get me wrong, I've never been mistreated or made fun of at all. People are very kind in that respect but now that I've been on both sides of the "good looks" fence I"ve learned something profound about the "skin deep" philosophy. Thanks for giving me a place to bare my soul. Tony
Crohns 30 years. Ileostomy for 15 years. Symptom free for 14 years until 8 months ago. Now on Remicade, B-12 injections and iron. Feeling much better!
God Bless. Tony


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 5/17/2009 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   
I don't know if I feel like I look like a martian, but I can say that sometimes I feel much older that I am. Because of the Pred I have taken over my 30+ years with this DD, I have really thin skin that tears and gets those blood blister like bruises that folks 20-30 years older than me usually develop with age. The Pred has sped up that process in my skin (explanation by GI). Also, like you my joints hurt so bad now, they are actually more of a problem now for me than the Crohns. I can relate to the times I literally limp.

And then there is my stomach, like many Crohnies I always have a bloated looking gut. Mostly due to my surgeries, but also from the swelling intestines we all get. I hate always wearing looser clothes to hide it.

And then there is of course the always present fatigue, where you are always too tired to even get out sometimes to enjoy yourself. 
After working a fulltime job, I find sometimes I don't have the energy to do much more. 

I try very hard to try to look my best at all times, but I can agree with you this DD does sometimes make you feel like you look less than your best.

Hugs
Gail *Nanners*


Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*

Post Edited (Nanners) : 5/17/2009 7:49:47 AM (GMT-6)


Lizard99
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 192
   Posted 5/17/2009 6:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I understand exactly where you are coming from. I too feel so unattractive, and guys don't even look at me anymore because I've lost all of my body for the most part.  When I was fuller, I used to get attention from guys, but now, I haven't been asked on a date in a year and half. Guys don't even look at me. But if they are all that vein, then they aren't for me anyway, and I'm better off without them.  If all that people want are looks, then what happens when they fade? Maybe were are better off, and when we DO find someone (we will, I have hope) it will be for real, not superficial.  We are beautiful, you and everyone out there. We are all different and that's what makes us special.  Nice guys are the most important, and you seem very nice and will meet the right person when the time is right. Just don't give up hope, believe that it will happen and it will. And yes, I too wear very unattractive clothes because of the swelling tummy, and huge pants because I hate them! But its just clothes, it's what's on the inside that really counts. I think if we love ourselves and remain confident, others will see that and be drawn to it.

gumby44
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4101
   Posted 5/17/2009 4:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I probably look better now. I used to be overweight, and now I'm thinner, so I get compliments. So sometimes I feel like my pain and saddness are invisible..it's almost worse that way!
50 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in small intestine and terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Also have IBS, and had Salmonella Dec. '07
currently taking Pentasa- 4 500mg pills per day, Metamucil and colace for constipation


LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 5/17/2009 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Intermittently I do. For example, when I am on higher doses of prednisone and my face is really round, but everything else is extremely thin. I've been called really cute because of it, but I know that it looks odd...
OR when everything else is deathly thing but my stomach looks pregnant because of a partial blockage and/or the prednisone.
I know that this disease greatly exacerbates dark circles and the disappearance of any distinct jawline as well.
It also makes my voice get really deep sometimes while very high others, and I know this has caught some people off guard...

I guess it's just a multitude of small things, but sometimes they are all at the same time and I have felt so unattractive and undesirable..wondering things often like 'who on earth could ever want someone like me?' It doesn't help that I was born with with what looks like anonychia on my left foot so I can't ever take my socks off around people and they have commented on it. Since when is it illegal to be wearing something on your feet?..

In the end though, I feel like we're still our own worst enemy when it comes to things like this.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone 10 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, bentyl as needed, omeprazole in the morning, prenatal multivitamin, humira every other week, and Align probiotics given to me by my GI.
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


aoccc
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 455
   Posted 5/17/2009 4:23 PM (GMT -7)   
its all in your head..if you were the weight you think is healthy and overweight, you would think you were overweight :) I bet you know one guy that is ass ugly and gets all the women. If you believe you are hot and you can get whatever you want, other people pick up on that and believe it too. Besides man you don't want someone that sees you and wants you instantly by your looks. Crohns is sometimes a great way to find out if you are either with the right person or if you've been with the wrong one.
SCD since 01, remission since 01, occasional random junk food breaks :)
No meds ever.


isergodur
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 831
   Posted 5/17/2009 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   
I was 100 pounds in October and everyone was talking about how sick I was looking :S I was also pale as a ghost.

Now I am 140 pounds, and looking better but now I have this ugly moonface and no one knows who I am anymore :(
It's like I am not me anymore, really weird feeling..

I am so happy to have my hubby and he is not going anywhere(I hope). I could not be dating looking like I look, I know I am just shallow and that the personality is the thing that matters.

I dated a guy with Crohn's who was really skinny and had a cute moonface but I feel like it is different now, because now it is me that has the moonface :S

So what I am trying to say it is all in our heads ;)
Some are fat some are skinny. You just have to be happy the way you are.

Good luck ;)
24 year old female
Diagnosed with Crohn's disease in December 2008..
Medication - Asacol, Remicade, Entocort, Cipralex and Cerazette.
My wonderful dogs :) ~ www.poodle.is ~


LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 5/17/2009 5:54 PM (GMT -7)   
It does make it difficult when so much of the world really does treat you like an alien though..
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone 10 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, bentyl as needed, omeprazole in the morning, prenatal multivitamin, humira every other week, and Align probiotics given to me by my GI.
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


tiaeight
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 5/17/2009 9:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Right now, during this hard time in my life, I make it "all about me". My true friends and family are there and who cares what anyone else thinks? Here is the difference - I am 5'7. I have lost 30 pounds since November. Not willingly mind you. So I weigh 113. The girls at work that look like Barbies all say" You look great!" "How are you doing it?" The normal people say, "you've lost too much weight". "Are you okay"? What a messed up world sometimes.

lilcrohnieUK
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 414
   Posted 5/18/2009 3:09 AM (GMT -7)   
When my sacroilliitis flared up badly I walked with a bad limp, I found some people I didn't know would stare or give me strange looks which did really hurt/embarass me but this got far outweighed by how kind other people were towards me. I was still in school at the time and amazingly all the other kids were fine with it and really nice and helpful to me, it was just random strangers on the street who obviously had no compassion, it took a while but I learnt to ignore it.
 
 
I know what you mean about girls comments about weightloss! To be honest it really worried me what they perceived as attractive, I went down to a little over 100lbs and was uncomfortaby skinny bones popping out everywhere, if I'm honest I don't think I've ever been more insecure about myself then at that point, I felt so unnattractive I hated how I looked and yet I got so many comments from girls going on about how great I looked and how they wished they could be that skinny, I was seriously ill! Its not normal, healthy or attractive! I even got scouted for a model agency - which I declined to be honest I was disgusted, I just couldn't believe how warped people were no wonder women have a screwed up sense of what is attractive. I've now gained 10lbs and feel so much better for it!
 
 

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 10, 2016 1:30 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,736,018 posts in 301,348 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151444 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Kilgore Trout.
291 Guest(s), 9 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
DBwithUC, scifigal2k, Xfitmama3, Kilgore Trout, bdbbauden, nostress, InTheShop, aloha234, JKVR


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer