Are you happy?

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Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 769
   Posted 6/22/2009 9:26 PM (GMT -6)   

I don’t think it’s a question of whether you laugh more than you cry – rather, what is your ongoing, consistent feeling of wellness more likely to be – happy, or sad?


I am betting that some people here will consider themselves happier than others despite having more severe symptoms than that other person. So I don’t consider one’s happiness to be completely dependent on their symptoms – although symptoms are always going to affect your quality of life.


I am sort of the belief that in general, at least to a certain extent, people are as happy as they choose to be. I guess if you believe this, you can find your own happiness. I have to acknowledge that outside influences are always going to be there to make my life hard – and in my case, I believe having Crohn’s is an influencing factor which makes my life ‘harder’ than anyone else I happen to know my age – but this is just my experience. I don’t have any friends from a war-torn country or know anyone else with a chronic, debilitating illness.


I guess what I’m trying to say is that I try to not reflect on my current situation and circumstances when looking for happiness. I try not to let the words of others affect my happiness. I try to do these things, but it doesn’t always happen – especially when my health is as bad as it is right now, trying to maintain a relationship, full time job and friendships when I can’t really move much and am in constant pain. But at least I am striving to do these things.


My question is – do you consider yourself happy? Has this disease made you a ‘less happy’ person than you were before? I cannot tell if this disease has made me happier or sadder, but I know it has made me more mindful, that’s for sure. More resilient, and stronger, even though it has made me weaker (physically).

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 6/22/2009 9:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I believe this disease has provided me with a new way of looking at things. Sure, I become depressed sometimes, and it makes it hard to get through the day. But on the other hand, I think living with such an illness has provided me with perspective. It has made me stronger and more resilient than most people I know. I have gone through some personal things in my life that would make most people give up and give in, but I don't. My friends always say, "I don't know how you do it." But I do. This is my burden, but it is also a blessing. I have to keep that in my mind in order to keep from getting down and depressed. It is so important to try and see the good in life.
Currently taking: Humira 40mg/every other week, Zoloft 50 mg/day, vitamins and supplements
Have taken: Cyclosporine, Pentasa/Asacol, Aciphex, Imuran, Sulfasalizine, Cipro & Flagyl, Prednisone, various pain med's, Xanax
Surgeries: Appendectomy 2001, Ileocecotomy 2007

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 33
   Posted 6/22/2009 9:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Like britt, this disease has me looking at life a bit differently. In general, I'm a fairly happy (and upbeat) person. When Crohns strikes its ugly head (like today) it wipes me out, reminding me that I have this chronic condition. I don't feel sad for myself. I just wish I didn't have Crohns. Thinking things could be worse than they are helps. My friends and family are amazed what I've been through, and I tell them what's the alternative? You cope the best you can, move forward. I think we are all stronger than we realize. Yet, if we have a down day or two, just go with it—it will pass. There is a lot more good than bad in the world. So, phoebeskye86, don't be so hard on yourself.
Diagnosed with Crohns 1995. First bowel resection surgery performed (8in removed). Took Pentasa, 16 pills a day for 10 yrs. Off and on with: Prednisone, Imuran, Remicade, Methotrexate, and Cipro. 2nd surgery 2005 (another 8in), preceeded by an abcess that antibiotics couldn't resolve. Currently on Humira weekly. Status: all of my small intestine is filled with Crohns, except 2ft. I hope to keep it that way as long as possible. So far Humira is working, though I hate having to give myself injections. I keep positive by telling myself that things could be way worse. Doesn't always work, but I keep trying.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 147
   Posted 6/22/2009 10:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I would say that in general I am happy. I do get frustrated sometimes. I am a firm believer that positive thoughts can help heal but I find myself not so positive on my bad I get mad at myself for not being upbeat enough sometimes. (If that makes any sense).

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 6/22/2009 11:43 PM (GMT -6)   
I suppose how I feel is just another echo of what the others have already said. I do get extremely depressed sometimes, really want to give up, and have days that those feelings physically manifest themselves, BUT in the end I feel like I am better able to appreciate life and all it has to offer.
Of course I have been sick for only one year so I can't say for certain what happiness in the face of Crohn's is, but I would like to think that I'll feel stronger and more appreciative as the years go by. I can hope and strive for it anyway.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 10 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, bentyl as needed, omeprazole in the morning, prenatal multivitamin, humira every other week, and Align probiotics prescribed by my GI.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 6/23/2009 12:20 AM (GMT -6)   
I am happy. My disease could certainly be alot worse. I look around and read postings on this site and there are children with this. They are the ones that give me strength! How can I worry about me when their live's are just beginning?

Elite Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20552
   Posted 6/23/2009 12:47 AM (GMT -6)   
In general with my life I am happy, I'd obviously be happier I'm sure if I didn't have this disease (or at least I like to think I would be cuz it seems obvious to me that I would be, but I could be wrong...I'm sure that sounds confusing!!!)...I've gone through some pretty rough patches in my life, as I'm sure many people if not most have, and it seems that having this disease during those rough patches may have made those patches rougher but at this point in my life I have to say overall I am in a happy place (crohn's aside) but I also certainly deserve to finally feel this way too so maybe it's karma.

My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it! LOL :)

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 269
   Posted 6/23/2009 6:54 AM (GMT -6)   
I would say that I am happy, of course I would rather not have crohns, but I try to make the best of it.
Before I had crohns when I was married I was much more unhappy than I am now.  I had a rotten marriage, with a bully of a husband. And then I had 4 turbulent years on my own (in and out of relationships).
I met my partner (who incidentally has UC) and 3 months later I was diagnosed with crohns, so all in all I have been ill on and off since I met him, 4 and a half years ago.
My happiness comes from my partner, family and my good friends. They are all very supportiveof me, I am lucky.
Diagnosed 2005.
Current medication  -  infliximab infusions, ranitidine, ferrous sulphate, Vitamin B12 injections, asacol

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 305
   Posted 6/23/2009 7:25 AM (GMT -6)   
This is a very good post! I feel just like everyone else on here....couldn't have said it better. I look at it like this....most of the time. I feel like God allows things like this to happen to some people to check our commitment to our faith and to set a positive example for others. I've been told many times through my years with Crohn's that "I can't believe how positive you are with this disease". But like MerryMac said, whats your alternative? You either surrender to it or you try to keep living and I choose to keep living. There's no way to always be positive when your sick. I've had my share of pity parties but deep down I'm happy and it usually shows through.
Crohns 30 years. Ileostomy for 15 years. Symptom free for 14 years until 10 months ago. Was on Remicade but just recently switched to Humira because remicade stopped working, B-12 injections and iron.
God Bless. Tony

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 6/23/2009 8:51 AM (GMT -6)   
I like the others have those bad days, but more often than not, I am extremely happy. I contribute that to being loved by the most amazing man. With him all things are possible.

Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed for my anxiety.  Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 202
   Posted 6/23/2009 3:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Happy?  Sad?  Those aren't words that I would use to describe my general over-all feeling.  I think I'm happy, I don't know.  I do know that I feel frustrated and stressed alot because of my disease.  I absolutely hate having to think about my bowels all day long, every single day.  Sometimes I really resent that.  I often wonder what it's like for the "average" "normal" person who can go through their days without having to think about their bowels.  How would it be?  Ya know what I mean?  I try to stay as upbeat as possible.  Thank you for reminding me that we are the ones in control of our own emotions.  I know there are others that are far more worse off than I am so who am I to be filling the pity pot?

Crohn's Disease. 
Diagnosed 13+ years ago. 
Been in remission for short periods of time but each time I come out of remission my disease seems to have spread.  No longer isolated in my ileum, now from stomach down to rectum.
Current Medications:  Humera 40mg injections every other week, Imuran 150mg, Levsin, Welchol 625mg, Prednisone 10mg(started weaning off, now going back up in dosing).Canesa suppositories
Misc:  I recently joined a local crohns disease support group that meets monthly.  It has been great talking to and meeting other people who share the same disease.  I hope to continue gaining insight through this forum as well.

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 331
   Posted 6/23/2009 3:11 PM (GMT -6)   
I was just thinking about that question last night.  No I am not happy, at least not like I used to be.  I was a very outgoing person always on the move, now, I'm on disablity, hardly go out or even want to.  I have gone back to church which is "keeping the faith", but I just can't seen to "MAKE" myself live life to the fullest, maybe I am to my extent?I am happy that I have a great husband & family, but, I have to force anything I do. 
Dx with CD 1987, 3 colon resections, 3 rectal abscess sx, 2 level anterior cervical neck fusion with plate & screws,6/2008. Major depression/anxiety, kidney stones & sx to remove, now 45 yrs old.  Still trying to figure out this disease & all the little extra complications that come with this rollarcoaster of a life with CD. Meds:Humira 40mg every other wk, Imuran .75 daily, welchol 625 x 3 daily, cymbalta 60 mg 2xdaily, Wellbutrin xl 150mg 1x daily, fish oil, folic acid,Vit B12,inject monthly, Oscal w/Vit D, xanex .5 nightly, Gabapentin 600 mg 3x daily, Soma 350 mg nightly & Tramadol/apap 37.5/325 mg 3-4x daily

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 637
   Posted 6/23/2009 3:21 PM (GMT -6)   
I have a happy list; it does seem that whenever something on my list gets met, something else gets put on the list.
Maybe it is more of a happy content type of thing. I think true happiness would require me to be in a relationship, or many relationships at once.

It only takes a few things to make me happy.

1.) I can get out, I am not stuck in the house, by my friggn self for days on end, hoping things will just "get better".
2.) I am not depressed, I get depressed if I can't get out, or if I stare at my walls too long, ooh maybe I needa paint...
3.) I can exercise
4.) My car is running, it is the source of my happiness, if it is broken, I can't go anywheres without asking someone for a ride, or asking to use their car, either question requires listening to alot of b.s., and I am sure you guys can relate.

That is it.

Laterz, and good post. :)
CD dx @ 13 (1987)
Prednisone 20mg every other day
Phenergen PRN
Zantac 150 - Twice Day
Pain Meds

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 769
   Posted 6/23/2009 5:23 PM (GMT -6)   
I guess I'm not that happy at the moment because I haven't been out for months - I just hobble along to work and then hobble home, and spend my weekend cooped up in my house because I am in too much pain to go anywhere. I live alone so the disease is very isolating for me right now. I’m only 23 and was diagnosed at 19. I have been in a great relationship with someone who is very patient and supportive of me, but recently I have been pushing him away, because I find it so humiliating to have someone watching you going through all this. I am only 23 and I have been in constant pain for about 6 months now, with a peri anal abscess that won’t leave me alone, and multiple surgeries. I now have a mushroom drain in so I still can’t sit properly and I have forgotten what it is like to be pain-free. Let’s not even talk about the fact that I’m 23 and haven’t been able to be intimate with my BF for around 6 months now.

I try not to let these sorts of factors influence my happiness but I feel at the end of my tether with these things now. I am tired of trying to be upbeat, when it just keeps coming back and the pain gets worse and every single day is such a struggle. I can’t handle him seeing me like this; it makes me feel doubly worse.

I hate to be that whiny person on the board – but although I do promote trying to find your own happiness; a this stage it is evading me despite my efforts.

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 6/23/2009 5:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Phoebes, I think reality is starting to sink in, and you're starting to see how this disease is affecting your life, and may affect it in the long term.

When you next see your wonder-team, I think it would be a really good idea if you mentioned to them that your mood is dropping - and yes, Phoebe, I think it is - as this can be an indication that your pain and symptoms are not being adequately managed. I also think it might be good if you could be plugged into some sort of counselling or chronic illness support team to start talking about the effect this disease is having on your life. I think that this is best done relatively early in someone's disease, before they make so many compromises that they end up being backed up in a corner, unable to get themselves back out.

Keep plugging on,

Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

New meds thread

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 947
   Posted 6/23/2009 5:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I am a happy person, but when the Crohns hits it really makes me tired and miserable.
Diagnosed with Crohns in 2001
First and hopefully last Ileocecectomy 2/18/2009

Medications: Asacol, Precription Folic Acid, Multivitamin, 1000mg Calcium, Vitamin D, Probiotics,  Monthly B-12 injections.

Living a Great life with my Wife and my two Chocolate Labs
Hunter & Hailey.
I love them dearly.

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 6/23/2009 6:15 PM (GMT -6)   
ps. Also, what I think I am hearing from you is that you feel that you are too young to be this sick; that you are being robbed of a "normal" youth? Is that right, Phoebe?
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

New meds thread

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1220
   Posted 6/23/2009 6:57 PM (GMT -6)   
This disease is rotten, and living in a body that is aging really sucks (and we all will die). BUT -- I am happy only because I have such great hope for the future.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4)
Diagnosed with Crohn's in early 2007.  Several peri-rectal abscesses and two fistulae with setons.  Allergic to Remicade and Humira.  Currently on 6MP, and vitamins D and B-12.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1338
   Posted 6/23/2009 7:58 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm happier now. I was sick for years and didn't know it. Getting treatment gave me back energy.

Also, I have a lot of other wonderful things in my life to enjoy that this DD does not touch.
Hoping to stay in remission after the birth of a healthy baby girl. On Pentasa during my pregnancy, went med-free 2 months to nurse (stupid), but back on Pentasa and still nursing.

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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 6/23/2009 8:02 PM (GMT -6)   
ivy6 said...
ps. Also, what I think I am hearing from you is that you feel that you are too young to be this sick; that you are being robbed of a "normal" youth? Is that right, Phoebe?

You know, it certainly does feel like, to me anyway, a thief when it comes to youth. There are so many opportunities for people our age, and we can't take advantage of them because we might be sick later or are too sick to do anything about it now. It certainly makes it difficult to plan ahead...and I think people have problems enough with that without being ill. Uncertainty is all too stressful...
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 10 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, bentyl as needed, omeprazole in the morning, prenatal multivitamin, humira every other week, and Align probiotics prescribed by my GI.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 769
   Posted 6/23/2009 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   
I do feel as if my youth is being stolen away; I can’t remember the last time I went out and had fun with my friends, I simply never do. I can’t travel like everyone else, I can’t go out to nice pubs, clubs and restaurants, I can’t go camping, I can’t go away for weekends to Melbourne or Sydney, let alone travel the world like I’ve always dreamed of. I feel like I sit about watching everyone else’s lives ‘happen’ and mine just does not. I can’t remember the last time I did something fun.

Happiness to me right now is taking a pain killer and floating, because it helps me forget about the fact that I have a tube poking out my butt that is draining, leaking and not healing, after over 6 months of constant pain. I don’t think I can even escape to see my parents bnecauze my health changes so quickly, and sitting for that long would be so painful.

I have spend three years being stuffed around and received little or no medical help while trying to finish my degree and work. I am grateful that now I have access to a good team, but it’s still going to be months before I am on remicade, which is really my only hope right now. so I face months of tubey existence, no fun, no going out, trying to sit still as much as possible. Even a trip to the grocery store is a challenge. I’m 23. What the hell. After months and months existing like this I really am over it.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 6/23/2009 10:53 PM (GMT -6)   
I believe I am happy.
Even though I am very limited in what I can do physically, and how far away I can get from my bathroom at times...yes, I am happy. I think it is because I enjoy what I can, when I can and do not swell on the times when I cannot do what/when I want. It took a bit of time to come to this mind-set, but I did. I enjoy my housecats, my horse, my Corvette. On a much more personal level, I enjoy my husband (no intimacy for quite some time, but we love each other, still), my family and my friends. I do not have oodles and oodles of friends...QUALITY over quantity...and they all understand when I have to bag-out of a function.
See my siggie:
This disease is crappy. You can either laugh about it, or cry about it. I prefer to laugh.

Husband and I were getting hay last summer with the Jeep (topless, no doors or anything) and I carpped myself. I told him to finish loading the hay, but he'd have to do it himself, I wasn't getting out of my seat. On the drive home, he looked at me with very sad eyes...he felt so bad, knowing I was sitting in a pile of carp. I looked him right back in the eyes and told him: "If we are ever to get in a car accident, now is the time so I can say 'Oh, my! I was so scared I carpped myself!'" ...and he busted out laughing, and I laughed right along with him.

Find little joys. They are out there.
I think it sounds like your road is getting bumpy and you're getting stuck in a pot-hole and it is a good thing you have reached out to the people of this forum. Let everyone help guide you to a smoother path. The first step is to tell your Doctor about these feelings. I remember feeling this way and I 'unloaded' on my Dr. She then helped me become involved in my treatment, helped to give me a purpose and a way to fight back. I don't have control, but she did give me *choices*, and that was empowering, too. See if your Doctor will help you to help yourself.
Best of luck,
I have the ability of single-minded determination and accurate project focu....Hey, look, a cat!
Crohn's and UC are pretty darn crappy, but if you can't laugh at yourself, you'll cry......I'd much rather laugh.
2001 Dx'd with UC.  No remission.  No improvement with Remicade.  5/2008 surgery, removal of 6" of left side colon.  Dx changed to Crohn's.  Remission for 8-9wks after surgery, symptoms returned after resuming 6MP.  Changed maintenance med to Methotrexate (MTX) and had great results with IM injections.  Nausea and symptoms returning with oral MTX.  Switched back to IM injections and am slowly improving.

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 6/24/2009 2:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Phoebe, I am concerned for you. You really do sound as if you are in a bad way, and as if you need a professional to talk to. This is *not* a criticism, and it is not a reflection on your coping skills: I just recognise the road you're on, and know that it leads to a bad place, so I'd like to get you on a detour ASAP if I possibly can.

In terms of you being too young to be "doing" this, I think most of us can relate to that feeling. However, I do think that this is a thought process that needs to be challenged, Phoebe, as you actually came to this disease later than many Crohn's patients. I find it hard to talk to you, sometimes, because we only know each other on the forum and can't always tell what will help you in your real life, but it *might* help you to be aware that you are actually following the typical disease process for Crohn's, and that you are not unusually (or "too") young to be going through such pain. As I said, please forgive me if this doesn't help you... I'm just mentioning it in case it might.

YES! it is absolutely unfair to have your youth stolen from you, especially as (in your case) a lot of your suffering might have been avoided had you been on stronger medication. You are right, and perfectly justified, in grieving. Again, I think it is important to be aware that you *are* grieving, Phoebe, and that this is something you're going to have to deal with, repeatedly, throughout your life. You'll find that you grieve as you reach important life stages and keep having to compare your life to others', Phoebe, and it's always going to be hard. Please accept what you're experiencing as normal; please don't feel that you're "bad" or "unusual" in feeling the way you do; it is something we all experience, and we all empathise with you.

I really do think that it is very important that you find yourself a counsellor or psychologist, and quickly. I don't like to think of you using your pain meds to escape reality and "float", and I don't like to hear you saying that you really are "over it" when you're still in the early stages of adjusting to your illness. Again, I stress that this is not a reflection on you, but it *is* a reflection on your medical care to date, and an indication that you need some more support, pain management and TLC than you have been getting so far.

You may well find that there is an IBD counsellor attached to your medical wonder-team, and I strongly suggest talking to your doctor quickly to ask if you can see that counsellor asap. If you have to wait a while until your next appointment, then *please* go to see your g.p. this week or next week and seek help urgently. I can't stress how important this is, Phoebe; you sound to me as if you're starting to crumble under the stress of dealing with this pain and isolation, and I do think that this is something that the doctors will be able to help you with, *if only they know what is going on*. There are stronger pain meds; there are social support services for sick people; I think it's time you were plugged into both.

Phoebe, honey, please do hang in there. I've said to you a few times, over the years, what a privilege it is to be able to walk this journey with you, and how glad we are that you feel comfortable sharing with us. Know that you *are* still progressing on this journey; you're not stalled, you're not stuck; what you are feeling is absolutely normal, and this too will pass. Please do use this as an opportunity to seek more help and support for yourself, so that you will be better able to walk the journey now and in the future.

We care.

Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

New meds thread

Post Edited (ivy6) : 6/24/2009 1:30:07 AM (GMT-6)

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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 6/24/2009 3:26 AM (GMT -6)   
I was busy thinking when I got to the end of all this reading I would say I'm not happy. My family doesn't understand and I still miss the past where I wasn't so debilitated and full of pain.

Then you told that story and I laughed and laughed and am still chuckling. There are plenty of people worse off than me. I am not blind, that would be hard for me. I can walk even if slow and painful. I can be useful and help others and service makes me happy. I don't live in a war torn country or a million other problems that are bother others.

OK,OK I am kinda happy and very thankful for what I do have.

All the posts are heartwarming for me and I appreciate each and every comment that was made.

Great post to start Pheobesky86

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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 3129
   Posted 6/24/2009 8:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Am I happy...yes in general. BUt I have had those bouts of "this isn't fair", life sucks, why me. Phoebe....I really agree with Ivy. It is time for you to talk with someone. I unfortunately have had a brother take his own life. The positive of that is I am more aware of when I am past "just a bad day" and into a depressive state. Most days when this happens, I can have a long discussion with myself and occaionally my husband that vents the feelings and allows me to focus on the positive. HOWEVER, I have had occassion when I just could not get myself out. THEN I asked for help. Ask for help Phoebe.
Sharing really helps. If you are not into the professional route, get in a support group and talk. I just want you to be able to see that yes this can stink, but youth can be taken back....I cried my eyes out for days when diagnosed in my early 20s.....I am now in my mid 402 and think my 30s were the best years
Dx'd '90 (emergency rupture), symptoms ignored long before that, '03 fistulas and bad flagyl reactions, B12 weekly, Pentasa [until I surrender to the bigger meds]
I'm riding on the escalator of life....

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