My heart goes out to all of you who are able to push through and go to work every day. I consider myself incredibly lucky that DH can support our family without me working. Because it was really difficult when I did. People seem to think remission means you are completely back to normal, and feeling great. Just not true. Even though I'm in remission now, I still have symptoms EVERY single day. I still have to watch what I eat, and where I eat it. I still wake up every morning cramping up a bit. I still spend my fair share of time having the good old D. When I worked I also ate the same safe foods every day, and even then I seemed to flare up WAY more then I do when I'm at home. By 3 pm I'd want to crawl under my desk and take a nap, feeling just drained and tired.
Getting up early for some reason makes all these things worse. Had to get up earlier then usual yesterday to take my son to an eye doctor appointment. Spend at least 20 minutes in the bathroom, with the worry of if I'll be okay enough to even leave the house. We get there, and while were waiting the guts start to cramp and rumble. Oh great, that's the last place I can get sick. Not even sure they had a bathroom around that I could use. Plus my son is sitting there waiting for the doctor to come in, not like I can get up and leave. All the little things "normal" people take for granted I guess. So I just sat there and dealt with the pain, and thinking about what I'd do if I mess myself. Real fun!
So ((((HUGS)))) to you Nanners! I feel ya, and you totally deserve to sick of being sick. I've only had this for about 13 years, but we all deserve to be able to lay down with our heating pads when we need to. It's not like we asked for this DD.
Nanners I don't hang out much here but am over at chronic pain forum. You have always been one to give us all a big boost when we needed it and you have provided many of us a wealth of information when needed. I totally understand how you feel. I have about 27 yrs worth under my belt. 20 yrs of not being dx'd and then finally 7 yrs ago all h*** broke loose. I was around when you had your surgeries and remember what all you were going thru. I am still chasing the big remision guy, yes many days I feel like giving up.
I did go out on SSD in 04 at the insistance of my gi who is as conservative as the day is long. I fought it and fought and I ran out of fight. I would give anything to be able to work. I cannot tell you the difference in money what it does to you, but I will say this, my dr had my best interest at heart and it took me awhile to grab onto that one. Do not get me wrong, I am very grateful for my monthly check but you know what I mean.
I am putting off my two new knees too. Wonder if we went together we could get a nifty discount. I am struggling with Lupus from Remicade and now doing Humira. One thing I have learned this disease can get you coming and going. Please take care and I will try to get over here more often. Hugs coming your way.