colonoscopy humor

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heatmiser
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 1671
   Posted 8/25/2009 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
On the subject of Colonoscopies...


Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were
quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual
comments made by his patients (predominantly male) while he was
performing their colonoscopies:


1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone
before!'


2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'


3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'


4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'


5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'


6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'


7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'


8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'


9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'


10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'


11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'


12. 'Now I know why I am not gay.'


And the best one of all:


13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there?'

It's in the bag
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 8/25/2009 9:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm having another one at the end of September...thanks for the light side. :) Luckily my doc. always knocks me out so I don't have to suffer the cold grace of his violation. whew
Asacol 400mg x 8 dly , 50 mg Mercaptapurine x 2 dly , 20 mg Omeprazole x1 dly , Remicade every 8 weeks , Multivitamin , Fish Oil , Currently living ileostomy bag-style , Align


Dagger
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1522
   Posted 8/25/2009 10:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Apparently after the doc lasered off a polyp, I asked said "Cool, will I fart smoke?"

Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 8/26/2009 7:04 AM (GMT -7)   
My doc has a picture on his wall of a doc doing a scope from down the throat and another doc doing a rectal scope....They are waving to each other...
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


It's in the bag
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 9/2/2009 12:51 PM (GMT -7)   
That is the best thing I've ever read. :)
Asacol 400mg x 8 dly , 50 mg Mercaptapurine x 2 dly , 20 mg Omeprazole x1 dly , Remicade every 8 weeks , Multivitamin , Fish Oil , Currently living ileostomy bag-style , Align


CrohnieToo
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 9448
   Posted 9/2/2009 8:06 PM (GMT -7)   
And then there was the Christmas Card greeting that included the appointment information and scope prep instructions that said on the front:

Tis the Season to Look Up Old Friends w/accompanying cartoon of gastro w/scope tucked behind his back and some holly in the two upper corners. And the gastro had a fiendish grin on his face.
Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.


Sunaddict
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 354
   Posted 9/2/2009 8:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm going for mine Sept 16th, it's been 5 years so I'm very nervous.
Thanks for that, def made me laugh!!
Loved them all, 13 was the best tho
Tracy from Montreal,Diagnosed with CD at age 18 but went undiagnosed for 10 years. 17 years with CD
Remicade for 1 year 4 months. Caused remi induced RA, crippled for 8 months
on humira, working for RA but CD is getting worse everyday,been on humira only 4 weeks
Pantasa 8 tabs a day
Provacede 1 daily for the ulcer's
Imuran 1 and half tabs (50mg)
Previous meds: Pantoloc
                         Predizone, tapered down from 10 pills 8 different times.(horrible side effects)
                         Lots more,list is way to long.
Unable to work last 2 years and counting. Hoping to get my life back soon. Minimum visit's to the ER is every 2 months, to stablize me and send me home. Been 5 years since my last colonoscopy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Live life to the fullest with no regrets and only eat what you know what hurt you.   

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