Blaming myself

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Octobergirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 9/17/2009 4:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm having a really hard time right now. I was diagnosed with Crohn's 2 months ago, and I am going back and forth from being in denial that I have Crohn's, I think because I am asymptomatic right now, to blaming myself for having it. I have read that many people who have Crohn's had high sugar intakes, and that is definitely me. I feel like I did this to myself, and I'm having a hard time not being angry with myself for it.

I also am angry with myself that I haven't been able to follow the Maker's Diet or the SCD. It was a lot easier to follow when I felt terrible and wasn't hungry, but now that I am feeling good, I crave sugar and grains...:( Now I feel like if I have a flare, I will blame myself for that, because I didn't follow the diet correctly.

Does anyone else blame themselves for having Crohn's? I'm sorry if this is depressing to you. I should just be so thankful that right now I feel good, and yet I feel really depressed.

LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/17/2009 4:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I've had Crohn's a year and a half, and I STILL can't follow these diets 100%. Don't be so hard on yourself, please!!!
You can't ever say that you caused this. No one knows what causes it. Certain factors like diet and stress make it worse AFTER you've gotten it, but you cannot take that stance towards what happened to you.

Of course I wonder if how I was living my life affect my getting Crohn's, but you just can't think that way. The fact is that we have it now, we can't cure it, but we can try and manage it as best as we can. Everyone slips...believe me.

Things will be hard, but you'll be okay! Just vent away here if you need to, and remember that having Crohn's is not the end. And again, do NOT blame yourself.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 5 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, omeprazole in the morning, and a women's multivitamin. I'm also trying a B vitamin complex, but it doesn't seem to be working so I'm considering the shots.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
bonniegriffith.blogspot.com/
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


ipoop2much
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 9/17/2009 5:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I am 37yrs old i was diag. when I was 9. Please dont blame yourself, I was 9 and there was nothing that a 9 year could do to make this happen so try and keep your head up and stay strong its not easy but you can do it.

pimfram
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 506
   Posted 9/17/2009 5:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm on no special diet, but try and avoid foods that I've realized give me issues. What I've found gives me the most issues is the volume, not necessarily the type of foods, since my main issue is a stricture that won't go away. Frequent snacks and smaller meals seems to work fairly well for me, at least I've stopped losing weight.
Diagnosed with CD July 2007
Currently on Remicade, Imuran, probiotics, folic acid, multivitamin.

Amor fati - Nietzsche


MoobyDoo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 212
   Posted 9/17/2009 6:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I literally JUST read a few minutes ago that taking some apple cider vinegar in water can help to get rid of sugar cravings. Here's what it said...
 
"Add two teaspoons of raw apple cider vinegar to a 6 oz glass of filtered water, and drink it down. As mentioned above, this is a quick remedy that may stop you from indulging on your cravings for sweets and refined sugars. But drinking this concoction regularly also aids in digestion...especially of proteins and fats."

______________________

I am sorry your sig has to be less then 10 lines including spaces.

Post Edited By Moderator (MMMNAVY) : 9/19/2009 2:42:29 PM (GMT-6)


HM
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 211
   Posted 9/17/2009 7:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there girl! It is so hard to figure out what to do and not to do with this disorder. I believe we have all probably "what ifed" about it at somet point.

Try to look at it as you now know what is wrong with your body and there is hope.

36/f   proud single mom of 2

Diagnosed with GERD/Acid Reflex 2002

Diagnosed with IBS 2007

Diagnosed with Arthritis 2007

Diagnosed with UC, then Crohn’s 2008, now the GI isn't sure which is it exactly...he calls me a strange case.

Diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder 2008

Current medications: Asacol 2 tablets 3X daily, Imuran 50 mg daily,Endcort 3mg 2X daily, Pentasa 2 500mg caps 2X daily, Prilosec 20 mg 2X daily (if needed), Cymbalta 60 mg daily. 05 mg Zanax (if needed) Probiotics, Calcuim/Mag/Vit.D. Flinstones multi with Iron and Vit. C 500mg daily


spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 9/17/2009 8:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I blame a few things for my crohn's. First, bad genes (my dad has crohn's too). Second, bad diet. I ate like crap the bulk of my life. I remember one summer I ate hot dogs every...single...day. Yuck! Third, anxiety. I was a super high strung kid, and started suffering from panic attacks when I was a teen. I believe that the crohn's symptoms could have been delayed if I wasn't so stressed out all the time.

I did inherit a good gene too though. When my grandpa decided to do something, he did it. He was an alcoholic, but decided he wasn't going to be a drunk anymore. He drank a glass of wine or beer after dinner, and that was it. He also still tended bar on occasion. Not too many alcoholics could do either of those without falling off the wagon. He also decided to quit smoking one day, and he did, just like that. I decided to eat SCD last December, and I've never cheated once. It makes me think of my grandpa and his strong will :-).

This is not to say I don't crave sweets. I have a recurring dream about gorging on my grandma's Christmas candy (which is kind of weird, since it's been years since I've eaten it). What's even weirder is that I get satisfaction just thinking about the taste of my old favorite sweet treats. I don't crave things like bread and pizza anymore, but my sweet tooth hasn't gone away! I have to be careful and not overindulge in the sweet SCD treats.

I've read that if you cut out all sweets (including sweet fruits and veggies) for 2 weeks, you will lose your sweet tooth. I've never tried it though. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to give it a try sometime.
34 years old, Crohn's disease for 15 of them
Current Meds: Humira since 7/08, Pentasa, Effexor XR
Supplements: 3 kinds of Fish Oil, Multi-Vitamin, B-Complex, Vitamins D, E, & K, Calcium, Magnesium, Enzymes
SCD since 12/01/08 - eating Stage 3 foods


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 9/18/2009 6:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with all the rest, you did not cause your Crohns. My personal opinion is we got some faulty genes. I have lived with this dd for over 33 years, you will learn to adjust to living with Crohns. In times of remission I still try to eat healthy, but I don't kill myself denying things I want. You have to find the right diet for YOU. I live on a low residue diet all the time, and that works well for ME.

Gentle Hugs and Good luck,
Gail*Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Crohn's Disease for over 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Octobergirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 9/18/2009 8:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, everyone. I know I shouldn't be what-ifing myself to death, but sometimes it's hard. I think that part of mine is genetic since my dad had UC, but I still can't help but think, what if I would have eaten a better diet...but it doesn't matter anymore, anyways. I guess all I can do now is try and accept the fact that I have it and do my best to take care of myself. It's just hard coming to terms with the fact that I have an incurable disease, when I used to never get sick...but, at least I feel good now. Thanks for letting me vent.

frogeleita
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 342
   Posted 9/18/2009 11:14 AM (GMT -7)   
sure lots of times..i blamed myself and thought maybe it was some water i drank..or some food that i ate...i even thought maybe my first horrible abscess was caused by me eating too many gourmet jelly beans..it sounds silly..but that was the only thing i could think that i had done wrong...i have even gone through denial where i stop taking my meds and i get really angry...we go through this..because its normal..no one knows what caused Crohn's we only really know for a fact that it is genetic...other than that..its all up to theory..

 Crohn's anal fistula Lupus Hyperthyroid..Pentasa..waiting on Remicade

Kanye West is a jerk.


frogeleita
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 342
   Posted 9/18/2009 11:15 AM (GMT -7)   
also..don't feel bad..i can't follow any diet to help me with my disease..i eat all the wrong foods..beans milk fiber..even...and i pay for it..and i never learn a lesson! Don't be depressed please...its not your fault..i promise you that.

 Crohn's anal fistula Lupus Hyperthyroid..Pentasa..waiting on Remicade

Kanye West is a jerk.


Brude3
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/18/2009 11:28 AM (GMT -7)   
I blame my DNA. And a stressful period in my life activated it imo. Whats hard is sometimes I can eat whatever I want. Over the yrs I can tell when I can and can't eat certain things. Most times a big no no for me is steak. Had one on memorial day to be polite they had nothing else stupid on my part. Stomach swelled way up. And started a problem with my fistula into my bladder thats has'nt calmed since. That was my fault. And I beat myself up for a a long time about it.
Diagnosed 2002. Remicade and 6mp since then. Have a bladder fistula thats been bad since June 09.


spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 9/18/2009 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Octobergirl said...
Thank you, everyone. I know I shouldn't be what-ifing myself to death, but sometimes it's hard. I think that part of mine is genetic since my dad had UC, but I still can't help but think, what if I would have eaten a better diet...but it doesn't matter anymore, anyways. I guess all I can do now is try and accept the fact that I have it and do my best to take care of myself. It's just hard coming to terms with the fact that I have an incurable disease, when I used to never get sick...but, at least I feel good now. Thanks for letting me vent.


I never used to get sick either. Often times, I would be one of a handful in my class that wasn't out with the flu. Since a person's immune system is overactive in crohn's, I've often wondered if my earlier good health was due to having crohn's in my genes, until the day it wigged out and started attacking me instead of germs. Crazy idea?
34 years old, Crohn's disease for 15 of them
Current Meds: Humira since 7/08, Pentasa, Effexor XR
Supplements: 3 kinds of Fish Oil, Multi-Vitamin, B-Complex, Vitamins D, E, & K, Calcium, Magnesium, Enzymes
SCD since 12/01/08 - eating Stage 3 foods


Octobergirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 9/18/2009 1:51 PM (GMT -7)   
spookyhurst said...
Octobergirl said...
Thank you, everyone. I know I shouldn't be what-ifing myself to death, but sometimes it's hard. I think that part of mine is genetic since my dad had UC, but I still can't help but think, what if I would have eaten a better diet...but it doesn't matter anymore, anyways. I guess all I can do now is try and accept the fact that I have it and do my best to take care of myself. It's just hard coming to terms with the fact that I have an incurable disease, when I used to never get sick...but, at least I feel good now. Thanks for letting me vent.


I never used to get sick either. Often times, I would be one of a handful in my class that wasn't out with the flu. Since a person's immune system is overactive in crohn's, I've often wondered if my earlier good health was due to having crohn's in my genes, until the day it wigged out and started attacking me instead of germs. Crazy idea?


I know exactly what you mean, I thought the same thing. Maybe your body does an extra good job with fighting off everything else- and then it gets confused...

spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 9/18/2009 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Brude3 said...
I blame my DNA. And a stressful period in my life activated it imo. Whats hard is sometimes I can eat whatever I want. Over the yrs I can tell when I can and can't eat certain things. Most times a big no no for me is steak. Had one on memorial day to be polite they had nothing else stupid on my part. Stomach swelled way up. And started a problem with my fistula into my bladder thats has'nt calmed since. That was my fault. And I beat myself up for a a long time about it.


That's really interesting! I've read that some people have problems with certain meats based on factors such as age (has it been sitting in the supermarket or is it fresh from the farmer). Amines bother some people, and one of the symptoms is digestive upset. Amines are high is vacuum packed meat and meat that's been sitting around for awhile. According to http://www.zipworld.com.au/~ataraxy/Amines_list.html , "Amines arise as a result of protein breaking down. Therefore, aged, overcooked and processed meats are high in amines. Browning, grilling, charring will increase amine level and therefore microwave cooking or steaming may give better results." Perhaps that could be a reason that the steak bothered you so much?
34 years old, Crohn's disease for 15 of them
Current Meds: Humira since 7/08, Pentasa, Effexor XR
Supplements: 3 kinds of Fish Oil, Multi-Vitamin, B-Complex, Vitamins D, E, & K, Calcium, Magnesium, Enzymes
SCD since 12/01/08 - eating Stage 3 foods


michmo
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 9/18/2009 3:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Being a Mom of a 16 yr old that was just recently diagnosed, I'm very much blaming myself for causing my son's Crohn's.  I always wonder if it was stuff that I fed him that caused it.  We never had much for sweets in the house, but we had some processed foods and crackers and stuff like that.  Who knows?  That's the worst feeling in the world.  I wish it was me that was diagnosed instead of my boy.  So, the bottom line is, hopefully someday they will figure out what causes this.  I do think there is an environmental factor as well as genes.  I look at other people's shopping carts at the grocery store and I see all the crap in there and they most likely don't have Crohn's.   Could it have been the pop tarts that he ate on occasion on the way to school?  What could it be?  Why are other kids eating that stuff and they don't have Crohn's.   I have lots of questions too....you are not alone in that. 

Brude3
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/18/2009 4:27 PM (GMT -7)   
spookyhurst said..
Brude3 said...
I blame my DNA. And a stressful period in my life activated it imo. Whats hard is sometimes I can eat whatever I want. Over the yrs I can tell when I can and can't eat certain things. Most times a big no no for me is steak. Had one on memorial day to be polite they had nothing else stupid on my part. Stomach swelled way up. And started a problem with my fistula into my bladder thats has'nt calmed since. That was my fault. And I beat myself up for a a long time about it.


That's really interesting! I've read that some people have problems with certain meats based on factors such as age (has it been sitting in the supermarket or is it fresh from the farmer). Amines bother some people, and one of the symptoms is digestive upset. Amines are high is vacuum packed meat and meat that's been sitting around for awhile. According to http://www.zipworld.com.au/~ataraxy/Amines_list.html , "Amines arise as a result of protein breaking down. Therefore, aged, overcooked and processed meats are high in amines. Browning, grilling, charring will increase amine level and therefore microwave cooking or steaming may give better results." Perhaps that could be a reason that the steak bothered you so much?
 
Brude3

That could be I just avoid steak for the most part. It sits in my gut for a week very painful. I have no problem with any kind of pork and beef other then steak. So I show up on memorial day and what are we having?. Big steaks and corn on the cob. I just about had a panic attack. Should have asked for a cold sand. or something my uncle would'nt have been offended. Instead I ate it, and really opened up my fistula into my bladder.


Diagnosed 2002. Remicade and 6mp since then. Have a bladder fistula thats been bad since June 09.


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/19/2009 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I personally feel like I was infected with this disease. But while there are genes associated with crohns, just my gut feeling has something to do with being infected.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 9/19/2009 4:33 PM (GMT -7)   
My dad feels the same way MMMNAVY. He got crohn's after he was sent to San Antonio for training (he was in the Air Force). He thinks something there set off the crohn's. I got crohn's shortly after moving to a new city as well.
34 years old, Crohn's disease for 15 of them
Current Meds: Humira since 7/08, Pentasa, Effexor XR
Supplements: 3 kinds of Fish Oil, Multi-Vitamin, B-Complex, Vitamins D, E, & K, Calcium, Magnesium, Enzymes
SCD since 12/01/08 - eating Stage 3 foods

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 10, 2016 9:35 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,875 posts in 301,335 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151440 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Ian88.
231 Guest(s), 13 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
ResilienceR, PeteZa, Wings of Eagles, Rebel_runner, Ian88, Christine1946, Michael_T, Girlie, BillyBob@388, Derwood, pmm73, nostress, quincy


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer