pain and being sick just suck...ok I just need to rant.

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MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/20/2009 6:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Ok I have to admit sometimes I get tired of people complaining about being sick from things they brought on themselves.  What I mean by this they just felt like it was ok to smoke, drink, and do drugs to the point that they ruined their health or got in a car crash.  I try to be patience and compassionate in that I know this is a poor coping mechism.  I have to admit from the outside I must look like volenteered to not be healthy, because I am fat.  Part of this is because my family is all lean and tall, and evidently blame me for not having the strength of charater to defeat my illness, let alone have the weakness for being fat.  But none of my living family have ever been really ill and none of them have ever had the amount of surgeries that I have. 
 
The last couple of days have been pretty bad.  Like not being able to get from the bed to the toliet (3 steps away if I do a sprint twirl) in time.  Plus in so much pain it was all I could do to just breathe and sleep.  Mainly just laying there in pain, but I have had 2 ER trips, and the last one helped enough so I am not passing out from the pain, but I am kinda wondering how am I going to feel when it wears off.
 
For someone who is trying to get an MFT PhD I am getting really pissed off with my family.  I realize that I must stop drinking the poison of being mad at them (because I want to have a relationship with my niece, and the bun in the oven), but I have to admit it is difficult.
If I was healthy I would not care, because I would not be vernerable to them.
 
I really do think sometimes being so sick and in pain is a bit like losing your mind.  Because it exastribates your vernerablities so much...
 
 
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 9/20/2009 6:23 AM (GMT -7)   
I can relate to your family not getting it that we are sick, and no we didn't do anything to cause this. We just unfortunately got the short end of the stick. My problem with my family is that I am the thinner one, and they are all obese. I always hear maybe you should eat more, or when I am feeling bad, so what did you eat you werent supposed to??? Grrr!! The always say I just give into my pain and I should just toughen up. I wish they could understand for just one day what I feel like, so they could understand what a Crohnies day is really like, even for those like myself who are in remission. I feel bad everyday, lately mostly with horrible joint pain.

I am so sorry you are feeling so sick. I wish I was there to help you out, I know you have to be missing your lil brother, who did help you out. I just think that healthy people really take their health for granted, and think because they are healthy and we aren't, that it is somehow our fault we are sick. Sending healing hugs your way!

Gail*Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Crohn's Disease for over 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

andorable
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 9/20/2009 6:23 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi MMMNAVY,

Im sorry you are having a bad time at the moment and can totally understand where your coming from. Families think they are helping but really dont understand the pain we deal with every day with this lousy disease and all the horrible drugs they pump in our systems to help us go into remission and in the process doing other awful things to our bodies. You didnt choose to be like this none of us did so dont let them get to you. I am now off prednisone and have been since my ileostomy in march this year and have lost heaps of weight a lot of our weight gain is due to all the drugs we have to take. I have always been a small build at the best of times but did put on a good bit in the time I was on steroids. Sounds to me like you need to see the GI again and perhaps try something else that may make you feel better cause obviously whatever your on now isnt helping a great deal. Your right when your in so much pain you do feel like your losing your mind, it makes everything seem so much worse. We are all here for you and hope you get some relief soon.

Take care


spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 9/20/2009 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   
I feel very lucky, as my family is great about understanding the difficulties of crohn's. I guess my dad, who has crohn's, paved the way for me there. He almost died way back when (he had a 50/50 chance of making it through surgery), so that probably made everyone understand the seriousness of it. Those of you who have clueless families have my utmost sympathies!
34 years old, Crohn's disease for 15 of them
Current Meds: Humira since 7/08, Pentasa, Effexor XR
Supplements: 3 kinds of Fish Oil, Multi-Vitamin, B-Complex, Vitamins D, E, & K, Calcium, Magnesium, Enzymes
SCD since 12/01/08 - eating Stage 3 foods


rovin1959
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 9/20/2009 2:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh MMNAVY.....so very sorry. Funny, you ran across my thoughts yesterday for some reason. Now the reason appears to be that you need my prayers. I have sent one up for you. The folks in this forum care,as you well know.I have no advice...however I hear you and wish I could make it better. As always,

Mary Lynn


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 9/20/2009 2:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Navy, honey, I think it is natural to be angry. I think there's a pretty good chance that you're also going through an intense grieving process. Of course you're still grieving for your mother, but I suspect you're also grieving for the loss of an ideal of what your family could & should be, and also for your shattered hopes for future loving relationships with your siblings. I think it can take a long time to recognise that you are grieving for the loss of an ideal, but the loss of an ideal can be just as painful as more tangible losses. Please keep being kind to yourself while you mourn.

The only thing that has helped me is to quietly redefine the expectations I have of people. Perhaps it would be easier to think of them as friendly acquaintances rather than loving family members. That way, you can ring them every now and then and make small talk, and save yourself the heartache of expecting them to be concerned about your daily life and medical struggles.

I agree that you do need to somehow still keep your heart and life open for your baby nephews and nieces... so balancing that with redefined expectations will be tricky.

Huge hugs to you, Navy. I think karma will repay them in the end.

Ivy.

ps. Might it help you to rent a commode while you're going through this extra-difficult patch? That way you'd have more of a chance of making it to the loo.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~


tsitodawg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 845
   Posted 9/21/2009 10:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I think at one point or another we all go through feelings somewhat similar to what you are feeling. It is really hard to have a disease that causes chronic pain, bowel problems, and completely changes your life. It is even harder to listen to other people sit and complain about small stomachs or the flu and compare it to what you are going through. I used to get really upset and it has even caused some problems within my family. I have a sister that has such a desire to be sick and is a hypochondriac. If you or someone mentions an illness around her, within days to a few weeks she suddenly has this disease and tells everyone around. At first I just looked past it because I felt like i was not that big of a deal, but when she started telling people that and my family that she now had crohn's disease, I lost it. My thinking is that if I have to actually feel the pain and have all the crap(no pun intended) that comes with this disease, then she does not deserve the right of saying it. It was also at this point that I realized that the more I complained to my familiy and friends, the more I appeared to look like my sister.
I have had 8 surgeries and there are still people that say things to me about how I treat my condition. It seems like everyone has an answer or diet that they know healed someone else with Crohn's. There are also the people that judge us because of the medication that we take and I am sure that many of us have all had the emergency room where you show up in either immense pain or sick beyond belief but are treated like a drug seeker or hypochondriac. It takes about a hour or 2 before they finally believe you when they do blood work and run tests.
All of this stuff used to bother me and probably caused me more harm and stress than it ever caused them. Now I just let it go and forgive them because they do not know any better. We as crohnies have nothing to prove to anyone and we need no justification for being sick. If someone does not want to accept that fact, then too bad for them. We are going to be sick regardless of if someone accepts our illness. or not. On the other hand, I do think that we do have the responsibility of not complaining too the point that it is bothersome to others. By all means if we are sick it is ok to say so if asked, but why dwell on telling everyone every gory detail. It does not change their mind and often pushes them away. If someone has a question, I answer it but in a way that will not disturb or discust them

LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/21/2009 10:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry you're having to go through this...anger and hate are such awful emotions. It's really, really crappy that you have even come close to feeling either. I just hope you know I'll be thinking about you. Going through something similar albeit not as bad so I really feel for you.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 5 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, omeprazole in the morning, and a women's multivitamin. I'm also trying a B vitamin complex, but it doesn't seem to be working so I'm considering the shots.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
bonniegriffith.blogspot.com/
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


Keeper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1058
   Posted 9/21/2009 10:46 PM (GMT -7)   
It sounds like you need to tell them "There is no known cause and no known cure for Crohn's. If I knew how to avoid being sick, I would do it in a heartbeat. Pain and sickness are not the choice of any sane person." Just repeat until they start to get it.
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