Ridiculous reply from a teacher. Need input.

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LMills
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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/26/2009 2:21 PM (GMT -7)   
A few things have been going on lately that have affected how I'm feeling. Namely, ovarian cysts and possible pregnancy. The cysts are such that sometimes when I walk or sit up too quickly I get hit with a really sharp pain that just forces me to fetal position and tears (sounds wimpy but this thing hurts). Some of you might remember that last time I was pregnant I almost died, and that it made things worse Crohn's wise--and vice versa.
That being said, I have some difficult where mobility is concerned, I'm constantly nauseated, so tired that I can barely stay up enough to get homework done and go to class. I've missed about three classes already. It's a lot, but I keep up with the reading and I am trying really hard. I'm not even close to failing save for one small detail: our teachers' draconian attendance policies. They can fail you if you miss 6 classes in the entire semester. Here is the thing, my other teachers are pretty understanding of what is going on. I decided to be completely honest and straightforward about what is going on. There is one that gave me this reply though:

"I do not differentiate between excused and unexcused absences. You are allowed a total of six absences for the semester. After the sixth, additional absences affect your final course grade as indicated in the syllabus. In addition, any absence results in a 0 for the participation for that day of class.

It may be time for you to evaluate your number of absences and to make a decision about whether you should remain in the course or not."

This is the second time she has implicitly suggested I drop the course--the first time I couldn't find the classroom and my clothes fell in the toilet so it's not like I could have gone anyway. I thought out of all of my teachers she would be the most understanding because she told me she has Lupus and RA, but so far she has been rather cold and the least understanding out of all of them. I don't want to fail this class because she doesn't differentiate between a student who doesn't go out of laziness and a student who CAN'T go because they can't leave their bed or bathroom that morning.

I really need some input on what to do. I'm going to go talk to her after I have some time to think about what to say without provoking her. I'm generally pretty good about being civil, but with her, who knows? She's already picked favorites of sorts in the class, and I am definitely not one of them.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 5 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, omeprazole in the morning, and a women's multivitamin. I'm also trying a B vitamin complex, but it doesn't seem to be working so I'm considering the shots.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
bonniegriffith.blogspot.com/
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


FitzyK23
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Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 9/26/2009 2:30 PM (GMT -7)   
What does disability services have to say? Also, if you have ovarian cysts they can give you every sign of pregnancy including missed periods. I thought I was preggo once and I had a 6 cm cyst. Good luck!
27 Year old married female.  Graduated law school this year and waiting for results of the bar exam.  Start a new job sometime in September.  Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night.  I take xanax prn for situational anxiety (aka no easy bathroom access). 


littlemissmuffet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 269
   Posted 9/26/2009 2:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Could you speak to someone more senior to your tutor, someone who could over rule her.
 
Are you in the UK. If you are then you should be covered by the Disability Discriminations Act
Diagnosed 2005.  41 year old female living in UK
 
Current medication  -  infliximab infusions, ranitidine, ferrous sulphate, Vitamin B12 injections.


LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/26/2009 2:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm registered with my Office of Disabilities, and I plan on asking them about this as well. But no, I am in the US.

Fitzy-I was wondering about that, but I took a pregnancy test...it tested sort of positive? I need a more official one because this one...well, I wouldn't suggest it to anyone wanting an actual answer. I really hope it's just a cyst because I cannot have a child at this point in my life. I am having a lot of symptoms of both cysts and pregnancy so...who knows?

I'm going to try and speak with her one more time, and if that doesn't work then I will be going to someone higher up. I do NOT think that unwillingness to differentiate is at all reasonable.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 5 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, omeprazole in the morning, and a women's multivitamin. I'm also trying a B vitamin complex, but it doesn't seem to be working so I'm considering the shots.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
bonniegriffith.blogspot.com/
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/26/2009 2:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Also, I replied with this:


"I was not asking for you to excuse my absence. I was asking for your understanding. I disagree that a student who is lazy and habitually truant because of that is the same as a student who is absent but still works hard. However, I am not the teacher, and I cannot do anything about this difference in opinion. I should hope that the fact that I am willing to work hard and work around what is going on to do well in this class should say something, and if there are ANY problems for you because of this then I am hoping that we can work something out. You told me when we met in your office to speak with you about things concerning this after I handed you my disability letter. I took that to heart, and that is why I have emailed you in this current situation. I am in no way trying to make things difficult for you. This is me saying that things are not going as planned concerning my health, but I am working around it and will do whatever it takes to perform well in school. I refuse to be beaten down by an illness, and, while I can understand your suggestion to think about whether or not to stay in the course, I hope you can understand why I will not drop it. Passing stands for much more than a score on a grade report, and I am not incapable of succeeding."

We'll see. If she disagrees then I'm hoping that I can at least talk to her in person.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 5 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, omeprazole in the morning, and a women's multivitamin. I'm also trying a B vitamin complex, but it doesn't seem to be working so I'm considering the shots.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
bonniegriffith.blogspot.com/
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


General Colon Bowel
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 282
   Posted 9/26/2009 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Id she balks, Id write a letter to her department chair about how you (a student with a medical disability) are being subjected to unfair expectations of a prof who will NOT make accomodations for your needs.

The only argument they can shoot back with is.........hwo have you made it through all your other classes so far, and how do you plan on handling future classes with this condition?


CB
Diagnosed with CD: November 2003
Probably had it long before that.
 
Currently taking: Not what I asked for.
 
Cant eat: I can eat anything.
 
Crohn's Wishlist: I would like a minor resection surgery...you know...just to see what it's all about and so I can say I had one.


FallColors
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1220
   Posted 9/26/2009 3:29 PM (GMT -7)   
I suggest you speak to the Disability Office regardless of what else happens with this Prof. It will be good to know the school's policies are in case this situation arises again (hopefully never again!). Let them know the situation without naming the Prof. If it turns out that what she is doing doesn't violate policy, it will suck but I think you do have a choice to make. Drop the course without penalty while you can and, if possible, take it again with another Prof. But if she is not following school policy, then I would tell the Office her name. I would think your school will want to know about Profs who don't adhere to polices. I hope it works out well for you!!
Diagnosed with Crohn's in early 2007.  Several peri-rectal abscesses and two fistulae with setons.  Allergic to Remicade and Humira.  Currently on 6MP, and vitamins D and B-12.


LMills
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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/26/2009 3:33 PM (GMT -7)   
If I could afford to drop the course I might, but I want to take it and prove that illness doesn't make us failures.
The thing is, I have to be at full time credit hours to keep my scholarships. If I go under then I can lost them permanently.
My only choice is to keep trying like I have been. Aside from missing class, I am a really good student.
I'll make sure and speak with other people though.

Thank you all for your responses. They have been really helpful...
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 5 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, omeprazole in the morning, and a women's multivitamin. I'm also trying a B vitamin complex, but it doesn't seem to be working so I'm considering the shots.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
bonniegriffith.blogspot.com/
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


Zanne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3763
   Posted 9/26/2009 3:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I would make sure that you keep everything documented. No verbal conversations for your own protection. And I would contact the disability office first before you 'speak/email' the professor again, bringing with you copies of all the previous conversations. This can only help to make your case that you are in no way asking for anything unreasonable but only what is necessary for you to succeed as a disabled American.
Suzanne

CD 20 years officially, 30 unofficially. 3 resections '93, '95 '97
Managing with strict low residue diet, keeping symptoms to a minimum. All test show small amount of ulceration, still have occasional blockages. But still have a great time with my 2 daughters and husband!


Prednisone, 6MP,Prevacid, B12 shots, Bentyl, Xifaxan.....


vitaka
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 887
   Posted 9/26/2009 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree with Zanne that you should contact the disability office before having any more conversations with the professor. Your professor may be unaware of the technicalities of your rights as a student with disabilities. The problem that so many professors face is dealing with so many students who just don't care and try to take advantage of the system. This sometimes makes professors so jaded that they have a hard time seeing the ones who are truly invested in learning, especially when they have to miss class for real reasons. Of course, she may just be insensitive (which is even sadder considering she deals with related health issues).

I am in no way defending your professor, but just sharing my experiences in academia. While I imagine disability practices vary from school to school, I have a hard time imagining that you would be unable to complete the class as long as you are keeping up with the work.

Good luck.
29f, PhD student, originally diagnosed 2/06.
09/09: diagnosis being questioned due to lack of evidence of disease.
Next step: seeing rheumatologist
Currently taking: 2g Pentasa, tapering from 20mg prednisone, 150mg Trazadone, multivitamin, vitamin D supplement


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 9/26/2009 6:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I think you really need to first find out if you are pregnant!! What do you mean by "sort of positive?" If it was a "line" test and there was even a bit of a second line I think that means that you are. Have you tried a second home test? Can you go to health services on campus? I wish you the best. I had a scare lately too. Silly period decided to run and hide for a month and then come back w/ a vengance w/ the period from hell. I know how stressful it can be though.
27 Year old married female.  Graduated law school this year and waiting for results of the bar exam.  Start a new job sometime in September.  Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night.  I take xanax prn for situational anxiety (aka no easy bathroom access). 


LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/26/2009 9:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Just thought I would add since checking my grades:
Attendance score is a C. However, she said a lot of it was based on our discussion and blog comments (we use an online blog system for reading responses). So far, I have contributed to discussion every class I was present except one. Three or four other people did as well out of twenty five students.
I went to count how many reader responses people posted. Everyone has posted one response consisting of a single sentence. I have posted five consisting of in depth paragraphs.
I have missed 3 classes since registering for this class.

Am I being nitpicky or does this not seem just slightly unfair? I participate more than most people, get my reading done, and get my homework done. So why is my grade a C?
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 5 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, omeprazole in the morning, and a women's multivitamin. I'm also trying a B vitamin complex, but it doesn't seem to be working so I'm considering the shots.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
bonniegriffith.blogspot.com/
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


frogeleita
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 342
   Posted 9/26/2009 9:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Ovarian cysts..hurt so bad...i have had these on and on for a while...i had a few bad times being pregnant...i threw up the entire time...and lost about 35 pounds with my daughter 25 with my son...it was the worst time of my life..i can relate...plus having Crohn's...you could try to fight her..but if i were you..i might just feel more comfortable just dropping the class...if she is this difficult to work with...then it may not be worth the fight..take care of yourself hugs*

 Crohn's anal fistula Lupus Hyperthyroid..Pentasa Remicade

 


LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/26/2009 9:43 PM (GMT -7)   
frogeleita-I'm sorry to hear you went through all of that...it's tough!
I understand about dropping the class, and I would be half tempted to but for the fact that I would lose my scholarships permanently. I just don't understand why she is acting this way.
She gave a few civil responses back via email so far in this semester, but then has responded with equally rude ones. I just don't get it.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 5 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, omeprazole in the morning, and a women's multivitamin. I'm also trying a B vitamin complex, but it doesn't seem to be working so I'm considering the shots.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
bonniegriffith.blogspot.com/
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


frogeleita
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 342
   Posted 9/26/2009 10:16 PM (GMT -7)   
ahh..she is just a big jerk..too bad since she has so of her own health issues...that she can't perhaps..be more understanding...of what you are going through..i say fight her then..take it up the ladder and don't let anyone mess with your scholarships...i really hope you feel better

 Crohn's anal fistula Lupus Hyperthyroid..Pentasa Remicade

 


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/27/2009 6:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Ok perhaps it is time to talk (after you have spoken with the dept chair) with the dean of students especially if you are concerned about your grade and scholarship money. It is best to do this as an as kind of an FYI thing.
In all honesty you really should have a doctors note for every time you miss class or work. Not that it is fair, but this is what my university does to prevent people from abusing the system.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 9/27/2009 7:07 AM (GMT -7)   
I think you should go to a higher up. What she is doing is not fair at all in my opinion. She evidently is doing well with her health issues, as she is seems to have forgotten how bad things can get during the bad times. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way LMills and hoping all turns out well for you.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Crohn's Disease for over 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

LMills
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/27/2009 9:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you guys...I'm going on Monday. I wouldn't be nitpicking about the C grade if it were fair, but she said grades would not be affected until you miss two weeks worth of classes i.e. 6. I've missed three or four...and I've contributed to everything more than a lot of students in there so I think you guys are very, very much right.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone 5 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, omeprazole in the morning, and a women's multivitamin. I'm also trying a B vitamin complex, but it doesn't seem to be working so I'm considering the shots.
Diet almost completely without refined sugars, wheat, flour, gluten, high lactose dairy, and/or junk food in general.
bonniegriffith.blogspot.com/
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."


CrazyHarry
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1034
   Posted 9/27/2009 4:27 PM (GMT -7)   
talk to the dean. you have an extenuating circumstances. they are discriminating against you if they hold up your teacher's decree of only 6 absences per semester or you fail (or something lame like that). you can do almost any college course without going to the lecture - it is called reading the book and doing the homework. if this class is a pre-req or required for your major, you need to talk to some one in the high up in the college to get this taken care of. and you can always threaten to sue as this is a flagrant infringement on your right to learn (imho at least). worst case though, take a C and move on. a C is passing. then set up a website about your experience with this teacher (change the name of course for legal reasons, but make it rhyme or something) and state explicitly just how unfair and callous this teacher was to your condition. revenge is a dish best served cold (and sometimes you need to dish out seconds).
Crazy Harry

---------------------------------------------
Crohn's since 1993 (17 yrs old then)
surgery in July '05 - removal of 2 inches at ileum and 8 inches of sigmoid colon (had fistula into bladder)
Nov '05 developed colonic inertia; July '06 told i needed ostomy surgery
began maker's diet in August '06 - now feeling the best ever with no symptoms of colonic inertia and i kept my colon
med free as of 10/31/07


MikeB
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Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1169
   Posted 9/28/2009 5:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Well I have Crohns and I am also an adjunct college instructor. I wil work with a student with medical issues -- have had several over the years, including some who had to have surgery in the middle of the semester. Having said that, there is a point at which you have to draw a line, and sometimes a student will simply vanish for some time and reappear expecting to be fully reinstated with all uncompleted work somehoe forgiven.  Each teacher has a right to set his or her own attendance and grading policies within the overall institutional rules. Some are more rigorous than others.  One suggestion might be to see what other instructors teach the same class and see if you can move from one section to another. Bottom line, however, is that life is not always fair . . . if it comes to it, just drop rather than take the F grade and pick the course up in a future semester with someone else. I always ask at the first class if anyone has any issues that might interfere with attendance, to talk to be after class, and we work something out. Sounds like you need to find instructors (this goes for all classes) that are more willing to work with you.

aoccc
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 455
   Posted 9/28/2009 6:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Great post Mike. I see a lot of issues similar to this posted and there are a lot of answers given seem to feel they are entitled to special help, insurance, or whatever. There are thousands of different diseases and disorders out there and people that will not hold our hand. You have to make it happen yourself and don't depend a group or law is going to cover you. You can do it, just have to be creative.
SCD since 01, remission since 01, occasional random junk food breaks :)
No meds ever.


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 9/28/2009 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Mike and aoccc - I completely disagree. She will lose her scholarship money PERMANENTLY and not be able to afford school. She is not asking for special treatment. She does all the work. She is expecting her absenses that are medically necessary to be excused. There is no reason they shouldn't be. People fight long and hard to pass laws to help those who need them. The ADA makes disabled people whole, it doesn't give them an advantage. For example - say every student has half an hour to take a test. And someone w/ crohns is taking that test. If they used the bathroom 3 times they might lose 10 minutes which is major in a timed test. With stop the clock testing they don't get "extra time." Instead they get a full half hour of TEST time, just like their non disabled peers. Rather than viewing people as entitled why don't you try having some compassion.
27 Year old married female lawyer.  Diagnosed w/ CD 5 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For Crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night.  I take xanax prn for situational anxiety (aka no easy bathroom access). 


CrohnieToo
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Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 9448
   Posted 9/28/2009 6:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't mean to be heartless as I really do wish you well and hope that you can get the necessary accomodations from this teacher - but - w/all you have going on w/school and your health WHY is there ANY chance of your being pregnant? THAT is irresponsible on your part. You've been blessed w/a scholarship and you risk it by playing w/the risk of pregnancy given your health. THAT is not very mature on your part either.


Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Post Edited (CrohnieToo) : 9/28/2009 7:38:47 PM (GMT-6)


LMills
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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/28/2009 6:45 PM (GMT -7)   
CrohnieToo said...
I don't mean to be heartless as I really do wish you well and hope that you can get the necessary accomodations from this teacher - but - w/all you have going on w/school and your health WHY is there ANY chance of your being pregnant? THAT is irresponsible on your part. You've been blessed w/a scholarship and you risk it by playing w/the risk of pregnancy given your health. THAT is not very mature on your part either.


Because birth control doesn't always work. Great for people who practice abstinence, but I don't. I'm a 21 year old college student living with my boyfriend. Not only that, but my boyfriend was supposed to be sterile from a surgery he had so surgery+birth control SHOULD mean no pregnancy.

And thanks, Fitzy...I agree. My case isn't so bad that I can't even be in class right now, cysts seem to improving so that I can walk much better, I'm making the effort to get there and participate, but I just want my teacher's understanding at this point. The only things to worry about right now are perpetual nausea and loss of appetite, fatigue, and I have to go see a neurologist for a 'knot' on my head. I've had a hard time thinking clearly as of late (sometimes imagining things).

I understand where you are coming from Mike/aocc, but I can't risk losing my scholarship money. I have no way to go to school without it, and dropping this class would mean exactly that. I have spoken with the financial aid department, they understand, but there isn't much they can do since this semester was given to me to prove that can make good grades in spite of illness.
And I'm sorry, but if someone has a legitimate illness they do need help. They shouldn't be forced to 'get creative' in order to succeed.

And for the record, I have NOT asked for an excused absence as of this point. I disagreed on her attendance policy, but I told her straight up in a following email that all I wanted was for her to understand why I was not there. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Diagnosed with Crohn's in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone, pentasa, omeprazole, and humira. Using probiotics and a multivitamin.
bonniegriffith.blogspot.com/
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."

Post Edited (LMills) : 9/28/2009 8:12:02 PM (GMT-6)


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 9/28/2009 7:25 PM (GMT -7)   
C2 - accidents happen to even the most responsible people. I wish there was an on/off switch for fertility. It is sad that so many people want children and can't have them and so many really don't (or can't afford to) and wind up pregnant. Even married I lived in fear of getting pregnant b/c I wouldn't be able to afford to drop out of school. My loans would go into repayment and w/o my post graduate salary I wouldn't be able to pay them. We used birth control but I was still scared. People in committed relationships should be able to consumate them. Plus, depending on ones personal opinions there are options for ladies now-a-days for those comfortable going that route.
27 Year old married female lawyer.  Diagnosed w/ CD 5 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For Crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night.  I take xanax prn for situational anxiety (aka no easy bathroom access). 

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