So sorry need to rant!!!

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 634
   Posted 10/9/2009 10:51 AM (GMT -6)   
So i'm in my 3rd year at uni, and my infliximab wore off a few days ago. I was pretty down about it cos i had an accident in my sleep. My next treatment is on thursday and i'm heading to get it done on sunday (i live 170 miles away from the hospital i'm treated at).

I obviously haven't been 100% since then, but have been ok. I just havent gone out for lectures ect cos i have very little control right now. No other reason, i have no pain, no nausea, no vomiting. Just explosive and seriously smelly D.

I explained i wouldnt be in to my 'best mate' who we shall call C. Now up to this point she was really cool about it all. Let me just do my thing with crohn's.

She went in the next day and shot her mouth off to two of my friends, who i share with, and a lecturer about how i'm seriously ill!
The lecturer has paniced and wants to cut my workload right back and has basiclly said i wouldnt pass. The two friends were so scared, they were practically in tears and they told me they have felt so guilty cos they didnt notice how ill i was.

Thing is, C has told them how i 'dont eat' and that my two friends should force me to eat. I have cut down on actual food but have been eating fresubin instead. pescription nutrition drinks. Then apparently i eat at different times to everyone else so i can throw away alot of my food and get away with it. I lie about how i'm feeling on a daily basis, and i will probably have to stay at home for weeks to get myself healthy again. Apparently i have been told to remain at home by the GI cos otherwise i'll catch swine flu.

I spent most of yesterday calming people down after her little stunt.

I know she's done this cos she's worried, but this is merely a blip in the overall picture. She has to learn that just cos she know certain things doesnt mean she should tell people them. The two friends know enough about my condition for them, but C shocked the hell out of them, even reeled off statistics to them. They were so freaked. You just cant dump that much info on them all at once.

Does anyone have any ideas how i can get her to understand that she needs to be far more careful with what she says, and to who she says it. I honestly thought she had a fair idea of being responsible, especially seeing as she in wheat, gluten and starch intolerant herself.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 10/9/2009 12:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Better talk to the lecturer first and get things squared away. Figure out how to make up missed stuff.

Tell your friend how you felt about her telling others. Get her to see your view point from her place. She needs to understand your position and if she is a true friend respect your wishes.

Have to say I have a good friend I adore who I can't tell anything I don't want the whole world to know about. Some people just can't keep secrets. I know that about her and live with it. There was I time where I had to step away from the friendship because of her behavior. Went back when I could.

Most friends just want to help. Glad you realize that. Hope it all works out for you. You sound pretty level headed about it all. EVer tried Metamucil for the crazy D. May help until....
This heights by great men reached and kept, were not obtained by sudden flight, but they while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.
H.W. Longfellow
Thyroid cancer removed 1988
Stomach problems finally figured out 2001 Crohn's/Colitus
Tried every drug without much success
Colon/rectal cancer removed Aug 2009

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 10/9/2009 4:48 PM (GMT -6)   
O my gosh, friends sometimes dont realize they're making things worse instead of helping, the last kindof stress you need right now! I hope when you talk to your professors that they are understanding with you and offer alternative ways to earn points and pass classes. You seem very strong and laidback about all of this which is impressive, dont lose that, it says a lot about you :)
dx w/CD finally in July 2009, currently taking pentasa, entocort, cipro, flagyl, probiotics, celexa, bentyl, biofeedback.
"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change" Charles Darwin

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 517
   Posted 10/9/2009 7:20 PM (GMT -6)   
perhaps you are too concerned about her. You might be a candidate for ostomy surgery to control incontinence in long term quality of life, so you have enough to be concerned with.. Take some pressure off yourself regarding "3rd year" as learning is lifelong, so you can get your degree on your pace. (This disease is lifelong as well so plan in years not in days). I can understand things getting dicey closer to graduation time. Can you still crunch your last couple university years with minimal attention to your healthcare, yes its doable. sorry for my tone. Remember you have 1 health whereas the university will be there. Cover your own ass and get a written excuse and some medication from this "GI" who has gone out of his way to make sure you stay homebound. Sorry, I just dont see how you need to get her to understand your issues, while she has already shown to be irresponsible with your personal information. You also acknowledged that she was trying to help in some way. If you're serious about keeping your condition private lose the roommate, or get your own apt. Have you tried the metamucil or lomotil to get things slowed down? With whatever nutritional drink you take there is D, and without other bulky food there is also some loss of control.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 634
   Posted 10/10/2009 6:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for all the replies. I've spoken to my lecturer and its all been smoothed over. I did suggest that if she had any queries it might be better if she contacted me directly from now on! My friends have also calmed down and seem much more relaxed about my health.

My D is only temporary, its ending on thursday when i have my next infusion. The treatment just doesnt quite last long enough. I'll be speaking to my GI next time i see him about upping the dosage.

This should be my last year at uni, but i've already spilt it into two. My dissertation has been pushed back for next year.

I really dont mind the D, at least i know its only temporary. I've been so much worse before, that this is hardly a burden.

One of my housemates asked me if i wanted her to wait to mop the bathroom floor until she went to bed so i wouldnt have to wait until it dried before i could use it again. I was touched she'd thought of it. Not many would have.

The only reason i was angry with C, was that she made me sound like a deranged anorexic. I'm not anorexic (i am slightly deranged, but then i think you need to be to cope wth crohns!!). I've never hidden food and i rarely throw food away. I always too hungry!! My wieght is low, but no matter what i try i never manage to get weight back on.

I think i'm going to back off from C for awhile, not tell her much. See how that goes. Maybe one day, she'll understand what damage she caused. If not, then she isnt the kind of person i need or want in my 'inner circle'.
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