I went to the GI today and the Flagyl and Cippro haven't done a thing for me in the last 3 weeks. Last week I was feeling about
as bad as when I first got diagnosed. I could barely walk because I could feel my intestines scream with every step <bleh>. I felt a little better today but I need them to get this under control. I'm too busy to be sick and feverish all of the time
They've put my on Prednisone which I never thought I would do again but I welcome it this time. I guess when you feel like crap, side effects don't matter as much any more. Besides I could gain a few pounds, I lost another 2 pounds and I'm down to 123 which is the lowest I've ever weighed in my adult life. I just LOOK sick and I hate it. (For example...in my substance abuse class we had to act of the good and bad of different drugs and while I was in the restroom I'm pretty sure they were talking about
me behind my back saying I should be the addict because of how bad I look right now) The good news is that they are letting me semi-wean myself onto it because last time they just started me at 30mg and I remember feeling like I was falling off the earth lol. By Monday I'll be up to 30mg and hopefully it won't hit me as hard this time.
I'm hoping that this will allow my intestines to heal up a little and give my fistula a break until the Cimzia can start doing it's job. I've been getting worried about
it because I don't know if I can live with this forever (the fistula...obviously I have to live with the CD forever lol). I'm running out of medications to try to fix it and they said that surgery is the last resort because it isn't completely superficial. They said I could end up being incontinent...at 26. I can't deal with that either.
I'm a hot mess right now. I was doing so well for a few years and had pretty much stopped taking all medications except for my 16 Pentasa but now I'm back up to 26 pills a day plus Cimzia (and I'm about
to add some more once I see mental health next week for my depression). I dislike taking so many pills because really we don't know what all of this does to us in the long run.
Anyway, I've just had a few frustrated/scared moments in the last few weeks and wanted a hug or two. I'm really looking forward to eating normal food and feeling better from the Prednisone though :P Who woulda thought I'd be happy to be on it again lol.
"Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity" ~ Horace Mann