Helping Santa OT

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Sniper
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   Posted 12/17/2009 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I may have to help the old guy out this year. He tells me with the high price of heating more people are keeping the fire going in the fireplace. Hes afraid of becoming Crisp Kringle. He sleighs me sometimes. I think he is afraid of getting stuck in the chimney . Call it Santaclaustrophobia . He told me to tell the reindeer, if they dont wont to work for me, there is a name for them . Lunch . Maybe he is suffering from low elf esteem but today he said a 20 year old woman sat on his lap. He does not usually deal that much with adults but smiled at her and asked what she wanted for Christmas. She said,, I only want one thing and its for my mother. When he asked what he could bring her mouther , she said,,,a son in law. Merry Christmas to all..
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


teddybearweiser
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Date Joined Oct 2004
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   Posted 12/18/2009 2:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Really funny Sniper. You had me rolling in laughter.

teddybear
Hi, I am teddybearweiser, I am a male.
I was diagnosed with crohns disease when i was admitted to the hospital

in 1992, in Jan of 1993 I was back in the hospital for surgery for my crohns. I had part of my right colon resectioned with ilecolonstomy.

My GI doctor has me on and Humira. B-12 injection once a month.
Also diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis.


SydneyJo
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Date Joined Mar 2006
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   Posted 12/18/2009 4:08 AM (GMT -7)   
hahahahaha - how do you come up with these Sniper?
It would take me from this Xmas to the next to think of all that! Thanks for the laugh. (I was still laughing about the Quigley doll)
Jo
Crohn's Disease, Ankylosing Spondylitis
Current meds: Methotrexate, Prednisone, Humira
Bowel Resection Sept. 07
 
Forum Moderator - Rheumatoid Arthritis


snohare
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   Posted 12/18/2009 11:17 AM (GMT -7)   
idea Don't worry about Santa getting stuck in chimneys. There is a special tool they use for these sorts of emergencies, it is a legal obligation to have it which is part of his employment contract.
yeah It is called a "get out Claus".... turn
Of course Santa is always worrying about the timetable. It is ironic that of all of us, he is the only one who cannot live for the present at Xmas time ! Never mind, we get his wrapped attention.
After that story about the woman sitting on Santa's knee, I was going to tell that old joke about the reindeer in the Arctic circle, but this being a polite forum I thought that jokes about Lapp Dancers might not work well.
Speaking of which, did you hear about the year that the elves thought Santa had a panic attack when they found his sledge deserted, broken down in the middle of Christmas night ? It turned out he was back at the workshop, he had done a runner... wink

MMMNAVY
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Date Joined Jul 2006
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   Posted 12/18/2009 11:50 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL!
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


Howlyncat
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Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/18/2009 1:04 PM (GMT -7)   
OMG i can always count on you Sniper n u too Snohare to bring my mood back to lmbo...thank you soooo much i needed this 4 sure..luvs lyn
                          
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
 
                        I DONT COMPLAIN...OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN I AM                                   
                                                     .....LYN.......
                                Donate to..www..healingwell.com.
                                                    
                             No BETTER GIFT than FRIENDS N FAMILY                                               
                            Happy Holidays from my home to yours
                              
 


Sniper
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Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/18/2009 10:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Sno, is that the claus of life ??? those things they cut people out of their sleds with after a mishap? Sorry guys the story just snowballed on me .
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


snohare
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Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2088
   Posted 12/19/2009 3:53 AM (GMT -7)   
yeah You're catching my drift right enough, Sniper. People think snow is soft and fluffy, but it's not an ice thing to pile up into at 60mph. If nothing else, the....end result when the reindeer see they are not going to manage the turn.... shocked there's a reason why the passengers are all wearing scarves over their mouths in all the Christmas cards...best not to yawn at a sharp bend redface smhair I hear it is like a load of damp buckshot.... rolleyes

dunny2
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 12/19/2009 3:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I was feeling so Bar Humbug til I came on here. Lovely play on words sniper, you're a gem. xxx
Vicky

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
B12 Shots bi-weekly

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/19/2009 5:10 PM (GMT -7)   
OMG...i am gomma piddle meself....ty for the great laughs well needed
                          
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
 
                        I DONT COMPLAIN...OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN I AM                                   
                                                     .....LYN.......
                                Donate to..www..healingwell.com.
                                                    
                             No BETTER GIFT than FRIENDS N FAMILY                                               
                            Happy Holidays from my home to yours
                              
 


Sniper
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/19/2009 10:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Geeeez dont piddle yourself, its going to freeze....Maybe become some of that buck shot Sno is talking about. Remember,,please don't eat the yellow snow, thats the place where the huskies go...I cant believe I wrote ,,,Mouther ,,,, and old VV didn't pic up on it. Guess the bait was to easy to see. Maybe hes ah shovlin...Sno, don't the scarves hide the fear too...
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


randynoguts
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Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6049
   Posted 12/19/2009 10:59 PM (GMT -7)   
sniper, everyone knows santa is a VET and always toss's in a grenade before entering any hole.
randynoguts 



     http://www.geocities.com/randynogutsweb/


snohare
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2088
   Posted 12/20/2009 5:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Somebody said...
santa is a VET


idea If he is a vet, why doesn't he throw in an enema first ? I'd have thought the ...ahem, outcome...would be much preferable ! confused
Sniper, at a guess VV is busy de-icing the power lines from his emergency backup wind turbine so that he can crank up his computer and get online yeah ...pity he won't have heard about the downed phone lines, eh turn
nono Wot, don't tell me that every rural US household doesn't have its own wee windmill nowadays...why you can build them yourself. shocked You'll be telling me next that you don't have snowmelt turbines... wink
Not that we Scots have any kind of fixation on getting free electricity or anything. tongue

Sniper
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Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/20/2009 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Sno, if I wore a kilt I would be inclined to own a snowmelt turbine whatsit . As I understand it, no long johns under there, only that which god has graced him with upon his birth,, is what the song says. Do you know where I can find the plans for the windmill , and will it stand gale force winds ???
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


snohare
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2088
   Posted 12/23/2009 12:26 PM (GMT -7)   
nono Sniper, I think in your case there might be special planning control conditions. We have all heard what dire things can happen when the **** hits the fan.... smhair scool cry yeah

AzJohnny
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 171
   Posted 12/23/2009 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   

AzJohnny


I feel a whole lot more the way I do now than I did a little while ago.
Crohn's Dx April 2006. Pentasa and Entocort EC


snohare
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Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2088
   Posted 12/23/2009 6:36 PM (GMT -7)   
eyes Don't *****foot around Johnny, just say what is on your mind ! turn
yeah It can be an ugly sight when you get drunken Scotsmen on a slippery dance floor.... nonothat's all I'm saying.
Personally I am a bit more timid ever since I was chased down Union Street by a drunken women's rugby team shocked blush smilewinkgrin

Sniper
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Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 12/23/2009 10:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Now theres a story befitting a Scottsman. Pray tell,,,did they catch you or did you give them the slip ?????
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/23/2009 10:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Cmon Sno..we needs your answer or buttal on this eh...kuvs lun
                          
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
 
                        I DONT COMPLAIN...OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN I AM                                   
                                                     .....LYN.......
                                Donate to..www..healingwell.com.
                                                    
                             No BETTER GIFT than FRIENDS N FAMILY                                               
                            Happy Holidays from my home to yours
                              
 

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