Doc Trouble!!!

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Veebo
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 147
   Posted 1/22/2010 9:22 PM (GMT -7)   
A few months ago my Dr. discussed with me the possibility of going on remicade. I am not so keen on the idea because to be honest I don't think I am sick enough and I don't want to use the strongest drug just yet. So we talked about alternates options and he pretty much left it up to me to decide if I want to go the remicade route. So I have been thinking and mulling and thinking and I decided that I want to get a second opinion. Not questioning my doctor's opinion at all but I am questioning myself. Quite honestly I am bit scared to go on remicade. Anyway, I was at my Dr. the other day and told him I was going to get a second opinion about the remicade and he got noticeable mad. I was completely floored. He told me that I can keep going from dr. to dr. and eventually someone will tell me what I want to hear. So I said that I only switched docs once and that was due to the fact that my former dr. would not do a scope (nor had I ever had one), i had no diagnosis, and I was having horrible issues with rectal bleeding. My current dr. then says "well you got what you wanted" cause I did 3. What kind of response is that! Oh yes I really wanted a scope so that I could be told I have another lovely disease...THANKS DOC! He had a couple other slightly obnoxious comments for me before the visit ended. What makes me SO incredibly mad is that I REALLY liked this dr. He was always willing to work with me and I felt comfortable with his treatment plans etc. After his reaction to getting a second opinion its like I see him in a whole new light and I don't think I can be his patient anymore. My second opinion is not until March so I don't want to burn any bridges just yet but I can honestly say I am really upset and disappointed and I really want to this tell guy what is what. I kind of want to just call him up and give him a very big piece of my mind! yeah

artist guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1373
   Posted 1/22/2010 9:37 PM (GMT -7)   
do it the new way. get a new dr.then e-mail the firing. they all get changed on. it took me 3or 4 to find one that suited me. I was so pissed at one I changed plan's. from sharp to scripps

artist guy


mommymoe
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/22/2010 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I had a similar experience with my doctor. I was not really feeling the whole remicade thing as I have a history of cancer and I know remicade can have some nasty side effects including cancer. My doctor basically scolded me like a child for not proceeding with remicade and doing what HE wanted me to do. He said I could see one of his colleagues in the practice and get a second opinion and that I did. I've never looked back. I have been seeing his colleague ever since.

Jen77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2691
   Posted 1/23/2010 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Sounds like a real ego issue there. Doctors should be supportive of second opinions. I still haven't found a good GI doc. I've been told there simply isn't one that is great for Crohn's here. Or well they recommend the last jerk I had, and no thanks! If he's the best, I'll stick to my primary doctor! He's been awesome. I hope to someday find a good GI. Sure would be nice! So I agree, go to this new one and then fire the old one. Lymphoma runs in my family, so I will be VERY cautious about going on Remicade when/if the time comes. I don't want to trade a flare for cancer, and the doctors better get that!
~Jennifer
 
Diagnosed with Crohn's Disease 2/06, and Health Anxiety/OCD 12/08 Taking Asacol, Questran, Toprol XL, and Celexa.


CrohnieToo
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 9448
   Posted 1/23/2010 8:21 AM (GMT -7)   
If you've been very happy w/this gastro until now I would NOT be so quick to burn my bridges. He could have been having a bad day and actually took it personal that you wanted a second opinion. Give him a break. You could have hit him on a day he had recently lost a patient and was quiestioning himself and what if anything he could have done different to save that patient.

Go ahead tho and get that second opinion. Cool off a bit before you try to talk to this current gastro about his reaction. Discuss your fears about Remicade and that you are not sure you feel sick enough to try it just yet w/him. Let him know how shocked you were at his reaction since you had felt that the two of you had a good relationship and you had been very happy w/his care - until that point. Be right up front and lay it all out on the table - if at any time he resumes that defensive, antagonistic attitude then just say thank you for the care he has given to this point, you're sorry that things haven't worked out and LEAVE. Maintain your cool and your dignity.
 
IF at any time you feel you HAVE to explain why you left his care, keep it simple. It is sufficient to say that he didn't agree w/your seeking a second opinion about Remicade.


My computer says I need to upgrade my brain to be compatible with its new software.


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/23/2010 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   
I have to agree with C2's comment. You may have come across in a manner that he felt insulted and maybe you didn't mean to. I think her suggestion is a good one. Good GI's are hard to find, and I think if you have had good luck with him, you should do as C2 recommended and talk to him reasonably about your concerns of starting such a strong drug when you aren't feeling so bad. Good luck!
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease & Anxiety/Panic
Crohn's Disease for over 34 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium, Vit D, and Xanax prn. Resections in 2002 & 2005. Also diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, & Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

nawlinscate
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 656
   Posted 1/23/2010 10:02 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm with C2 and Nanners on this one. Our family once had a wonderful dentist, who, for about a year, became really awful (including being harsh with our kids). We intended to switch--but before we did that, he reverted to his old, kind self, and he's stayed wonderful for the past 15 years. We never had any idea what prompted his personality switch. So it's possible that your doctor was having a really bad day or some personal issues or that you hit some button of his. I'd try approaching him once more before you try to find a new gastroenterologist.

If you aren't confident that you can handle things verbally, sometimes it works to send a fax to the doctor (marked Personal and Confidential)--so that you can make it sure you're saying exactly what you want to say and so that he can read it at his leisure. I'd basically just say that you were surprised at the intensity of his reaction to your decision to seek a second opinion and that you're sorry if you presented it in any way that seemed confrontational; that you've always valued his judgment; but that you're very frightened about starting such a powerful drug, especially because of your family history of cancer. Tell him that you'll make an appointment with him once you've gotten the opinion (whatever it turns out to be), so you can discuss your options.

Of course, it may turn out that your doctor has revealed things about himself that you can't deal with. I had two gastro docs who seemed fine initially, but proved to be misogynistic and dictatorial. If your doctor gets worse instead of better (or if he continues to treat you badly and hold your three scopes over your head), you'll want to start looking for someone else. It often takes a long time to find a gastro doc that you can really trust. It's an important personal relationship, and you have to find just the right one (although your demands have to be reasonable).

Good luck!

Veebo
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 147
   Posted 1/23/2010 9:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah I agree that it would be good to give it sometime for me to cool off a bit. But what gets me so upset is that I would not stand for someone to talk to me like that at work or any other place and the fact that I let him get away with it really burns me up. I keep asking myself why I did not stand up for myself more. I think the reason is that I am dependent on him from a medical standpoint so I did not stand up for myself. If only I could rewind.

CrohnieToo
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 9448
   Posted 1/24/2010 6:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Hooo, I so understand anger at ourself for not standing up for ourselves. I tend to not do so sometimes because I am REALLY angry and KNOW that I will NOT handle the situation well at all. When I KNOW that I will really blow instead of speaking up rationally and diplomatically.
My computer says I need to upgrade my brain to be compatible with its new software.


Jen77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2691
   Posted 1/24/2010 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Sometimes from my experience, a doctor can be great until you don't want to do exactly as they tell you. I think we need to be pro-active in our health care, and while I like to trust doctors, they should understand the need for second opinions. Or the very least concerns about a medication that does have some nasty side effects. I've come across too many doctors that tend to have a "God" complex, and I'm not afraid to drop them if they can't work WITH me on things.

I understand that doctors are human, and have their bad days like anyone. But also like anyone they really shouldn't let it effect their work to the point of being that rude to a patient.


~Jennifer
 
Diagnosed with Crohn's Disease 2/06, and Health Anxiety/OCD 12/08 Taking Asacol, Questran, Toprol XL, and Celexa.


nawlinscate
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 656
   Posted 1/24/2010 10:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, don't beat yourself up because you didn't react quickly and decisively to your doctor's unpleasant behavior. I think that when you're a good person and someone reacts so inappropriately and unexpectedly, you get kind of stunned and bewildered. Most of us react that way--and don't think of what we really should have said and done until we've had a little time to think about it. It takes a lot of experience to make you tough and militant enough to react immediately to the kind of treatment that your doctor put you though.

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13481
   Posted 1/25/2010 12:12 AM (GMT -7)   
It's a tough call on this one. But as one of the other's said no telling what happened before he walked in to your room. Granted it should not have been taken out on you. but he is human and they do make mistakes just like you & I. I do know how hard it is to find a good dr and one that you like. I would not burn any bridge here thats for sure. I would get my 2nd opinion and never mention it again if that is what you want to do, you may not like the next one at all. Bottom line only you can decide how to handle this. Good luck.
 

crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & psoriasis and psoratic arthritis. Several other health issues just not enough room to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 17 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.


JavaJay
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 452
   Posted 1/25/2010 5:40 AM (GMT -7)   

It all comes down to this...you have to be happy and comfortable with your doc and all the decisions.  And he/she has to listen to you.  My first real GI was really good, and he did listen..but he still went his own way.  Luckly I moved and it was hard to see him so I changed docs.  And then I changed them again and again.  It took awhile until I found another good GI.  When I did, his specialty was more about the liver than Crohns.  We he knew he couldn't help me anymore, he suggested seeing someone else.  That is what I liked about him.  He knew his limitations and didn't have an ego trip.

Now I am with a doc that is good, listens to me, and actually LISTENS.  I suggested Remicade to him and he said ok.  He wasn't sure if I was truly flaring so he possibly wanted to do a scope on me.  I told him about all my current symptoms and told him it definetly feels like a flare.  He did do bloodwork to confirm I had inflammation but he also said that I know my body best and if I say I am flaring..than I am. 

Don't worry...good docs are out there.  Do some research.  Check out www.ratemds.com Good luck and feel better.


36 yr old Male with Crohn's Disease since '88 - No Surgery yet
 
Been on almost every type of drug with bad results
Remicade since Nov 2009
Prilosec 20.6mg - 2x a day
Multivitamin daily


FunGuy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 1070
   Posted 1/25/2010 8:28 AM (GMT -7)   
The repeating theme here seems to be the HUMAN equation. He may be having a bad day. Even so I think that the remarks he made to you are fairly unexcusable. I think you should look for a second opinion and a new doctor. Once you have a new doctor then you should probably send the old one a good old fashioned letter, marked personal and confidential, about why you left. Make it factual not too viscious but a spanking none-the-less. It may help him improve himself.

As far as I know there is no such thing as a personal confidential fax. That machine will spit out papers that everyone and anyone can read. Don't go that way.
 
Perhaps you can get reccomendation here for your area


gumby44
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4101
   Posted 1/25/2010 9:45 AM (GMT -7)   
If you have an option for another good doctor, you shouldn't have to put up with verbal abuse, which is what it sounds like to me. I sought a second opinion early on in my Crohn's diagnosis. I was very sick and not getting better with higher and higher doses of prednisone. It turned out I had Salmonella, but the second opinion doc (at University of Michigan) and my hometown doc didn't think to test for it for about six weeks! My doc was kind of insulted when I chose to get another opinion, but he handled it in a mature fashion...he called me in for a long office visit and we talked the whole thing out. I developed tremendous respect for him and now I can't say enough good things about him. If you have no choice, then ask for another appointment and try to discuss things with him, but If you have decent choices, then move on and find a new doc. My perspective is that Crohn's is a lifelong and tough illness to deal with...you need a doctor that is on your side and you can talk to! Good luck
51 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in small intestine and terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Also have IBS, and had Salmonella Dec. '07
currently taking Pentasa- 4 500mg pills per day, Metamucil and colace for constipation, probiotics

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