Anyone get married with Crohn's....?

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ibdoer
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 2/4/2010 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey guys. Recently diagnosed with Crohn's. I'm doing fairly well on Mesalamine alone right now, which is good, but I have read a lot on how unpredictable this disease can be.
Anyway, I got engaged about a month ago to my girlfriend of 6 years. We are having an engagement party the end of February, and she has started planning for the wedding which is gonna be in October of 2011.
There is a lot of money and a lot of planning for this one big day, and it is putting a lot of stress on me.
I cant stop thinking of the worst. What if I am in a serious flare that day? Or even worse, I end up in the hospital.
She is aware of my situation and I tried overiding the wedding day thing, but you know how girl's get with their wedding day (no offense ladies). I explained to her my fears, and all she said was that "anything can happen to anyone on their wedding day". She has a valid point but still. It is really freaking me out. I keep thinking about the worst.
Please share your thoughts and/or experiences.
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ZenaWP
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 884
   Posted 2/4/2010 10:04 AM (GMT -7)   

ibdoer, you are worrying too much about it, which will makes things worse.  You are the guy...sit back and let your fiance do her part as a woman and plan the big day.  =)  Guys don't normally have to do much, so it shouldn't be nearly as stressful on you as it was for any woman with Crohn's who got married (I did the planning and got married without any problems related to my Crohn's).  Just make sure that the menu you choose is Crohn's friendly (or don't eat anything that you shouldn't).  I've heard of people on this forum (or maybe it was the arthritis forum) whose arthritis were flaring and couldn't walk down the aisle without assistance on their big day, but they didn't let that ruin it.  Just be happy that you are able to get married and that you have found someone who is willing to live with your Crohn's, as it doesn't always make things easy.  BTW, congrats!

 


Crohn's Disease, Acid Reflux/Gastritis, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Endometriosis, Arthritis, Depression/Anxiety.  Too many meds to list them all.  =) 


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 2/4/2010 10:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Ditto to what Zena said:)
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease & Anxiety/Panic
Crohn's Disease for over 34 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium, Vit D, and Xanax prn. Resections in 2002 & 2005. Also diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, & Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

JavaJay
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 452
   Posted 2/4/2010 11:42 AM (GMT -7)   

The day of my wedding, I had the same fears.  So in the morning I took some Immodium.  I did go some before the ceremony, but once I went down the isle, I don't think I went again all day.  I just put it completely out of my mind and enjoyed myself.

Best advice...don't worry about it.  Just enjoy yourself.  And Congrats.


36 yr old Male with Crohn's Disease since '88 - No Surgery yet
 
Been on almost every type of drug with bad results
Remicade since Nov 2009
Prilosec 20.6mg - 2x a day
Multivitamin daily


Zanne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3763
   Posted 2/4/2010 1:49 PM (GMT -7)   
All you can do is be prepared. As posted, anything can happen to anyone on their wedding day or any day for that matter. If you worry about it now, you will just stress yourself out for the next year and a half. Talk to your doctor 6 months or so ahead of time and see where your disease is at. Make a plan so that you have everything in place for the wedding day and honeymoon. Have all the medicines you need. Maybe plan on leaving on your honeymoon two days after your wedding so that you can take the day after to just rest and relax with out the stress of travel, give your body time to recover. Scope out the wedding and reception site so that you know where all the bathrooms are. Plan these kind of things out so that you feel calm and prepared, then you won't be so worried.
Suzanne

CD 20 years officially, 30 unofficially. 3 resections '93, '95 '97
Managing with strict low residue diet, keeping symptoms to a minimum. All test show small amount of ulceration, still have occasional blockages. But still have a great time with my 2 daughters and husband!


Prednisone, 6MP,Prevacid, B12 shots, Bentyl, Xifaxan.....


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 2/4/2010 1:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Someone told me "don't worry about it, you will forget you even have crohns on your wedding day" and I wanted to punch them in the face. I thought "they must not know what it is like to have this disease." But you know what? They were right! My husband has IBS and I have this, and we were both FINE through our ceremony, and reception! I took immodium that morning and if I had to do it again I would have taken a small dose of xanax that morning. But, I was fine. And hopefully, you will be too!!!!
27 Year old married female lawyer.  Diagnosed w/ CD 5 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For Crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night.  I take xanax prn for situational anxiety (aka no easy bathroom access). 


pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 2/4/2010 1:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree with your fiance, anything can happen on anyone's wedding day...try not to stress over how you will feel on that day, even a healthy person can get sick on their wedding day, relax and concentrate on the big day and all the fun and how wonderful it will be to make a commitment to the one you love infront of all your loved ones. Congratulations by the way, I'm sure it's just as exciting for the groom as it is for the bride. If worst comes to worse then try taking imodium, many people have used it as a life saver, if you've never tried it then try it on one of your bad days and see how it goes...just don't over-use it.

:)
bee propolis caps 500mg one cap twice/day
omegas 369 caps one cap twice/day
probiotics 10 billion cfu once/day
vitamins C-calcium ascorbate (easy on the gut) and vitamin A each once/day
Prodiem fibre supplement one cap before bed
I've also altered my diet (no junky stuff at all, processed, fast-foods, refined sugars, ect) and exercise regularly.
I went from 30+ bloody BM's/day with lots of lower back pain to an average of 5/day no bleeding no back pain and completely formed stools, still have severe urgency issues.
~~~~~~~~My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it! LOL :)~~~~~~~~


WriterMum
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 166
   Posted 2/4/2010 2:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I got married in May. Last November we booked a restaurant where we would get married and have the reception. It was 120 people and a lot of money, including family traveling from England and California to Canada. I was largely in remission at the time and didn't even think about any problems. My husband had never known me sick, although he knew I had Crohn's.

In December I got an ear infection and it was a downward spiral from there. I ended up in hospital a month before the wedding bleeding heavily on IV steroids etc. It was then that I realised how important good family and friends are. My mother came the day after I left hospital. She put out fires, received invitations, fed me, my kids and husband, etc. My best friend came to my house and pinned my dress for me and took it to be altered. My weight was fluctuating, and so I had left the dress to the last minute. I did a ton of stuff on the phone and internet from my bed or sofa. Other friends helped too in various ways.

We did talk about postponing, and then I thought about how all the stress etc. should end up with a good result so we went ahead. It was a wonderful evening. I think that in some respects it was better than I had hoped for because I had to let a lot of stuff go. Who really cares if there are table decorations ....?! So many people have told me that it was the best wedding they had been to. It was very low key, just a short ceremony, a good meal, and good friends. I did cancel the photographer - no moon face pictures for me!!

I think your girlfriend is right. My brother's wife's father died on the morning of their wedding. The family didn't tell my brother and sister in law until they came back from their honeymoon. I don't know how her mother coped. He was in hospital, so they just made some excuse about him sleeping, so they should talk to him when they got back etc. You cannot know how you will be, but it is certain that if you start worrying about it now you will likely worry yourself into a flare!! Whatever state you are in will happen anyway, and you cannot stop planning things "just incase". It is wonderful that you have found someone to share your life with, and that she is there for the good and the bad. The wedding will always be the good, so even if it has to be adjusted closer to the time it will still be a wonderful day of joy.

Congratulations on your engagement, and best wishes for a wonderful life together. Take care.
45 years old. Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's in April 2005. Hiatus hernia diagnosed in 2008. Had Crohn's under control until March last year when I had a major flare up and ended up in hospital. Diagnosis is now CD and IBS. Getting it under control again.
Currently taking: Salofalk 2000 mg, Nexium, Calcium and Vitamin D, Matamucil, Yogurt for probiotics, Salofalk suppositories as needed.


sugarfoot
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 2/5/2010 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
I just got married this past September. I've been with my now husband for 10 years and much of the delay on the wedding is all I could picture was me having to go potty in my dress. Fortunately, everything worked out fine. Hopefully your Crohn's will be under control & you'll have nothing to worry about. Best of luck to you & don't stress out about it!
Crohn's Colitis - officially diagnosed Feb. 2005
(Imuran, Lialda, Folic Acid, B12 injections)
Interstitial Cystitis - 2002 (Elmiron)
Raynauds - 2005
.::I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13::.
 


ibdoer
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 2/5/2010 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for your kind words and responses. I really appreciate it. But its not really the marriage part that stresses me out. Its the fact that I keep thinking the worst. "What if the night before I'm hospitalized for a blockage or something crazy like that". I can't get that stuff out of my head. Anyway, I guess I just need to wish for the best. Thank you all!

mull
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 86
   Posted 2/5/2010 11:35 AM (GMT -7)   
try not to worry so much cause it can bring it on i am married myself but i was two yr married.
when i got the crohns and we are still together so try and relasx because stress can play a part in it
so good luck
im a 40 yr old woman who has CD since 1993..
current medication is pentassa and purinethol.


heatmiser
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 1671
   Posted 2/5/2010 11:41 AM (GMT -7)   
I think I would have the same fears. Maybe a little "code" or something between your bride and the person officiating in case you need to let them know you need to step out for a moment. Have a planned "explanation" to tell the guests. You will feel better knowing you are not going to have to think of something quickly, and that will help you relax about it all. It's hard not to worry about what people will think, but hopefully everyone there is really there because they care about you both and if they knew what you have to deal with, would be totally supportive. So it might be a little unconventional to leave in the middle of the ceremony...the point is that you come back and tie that knot. Some people faint at their weddings-have you seen all those funny home videos? So not everyone's wedding goes as planned. It will be something for you to laugh about on all your anniversaries.
Dxd CD in 2003. Scope Aug/09 shows UC.
Meds: Colazal, prilosec, darvocet


basil
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 78
   Posted 2/5/2010 12:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi ibdoer,
I know exactly how you feel, and I was in the same position when I got married about a year ago. I was diagnosed about 6 months before my wedding, and was so stressed out about being sick during the wedding.
I agree with everyone who said it's amazing how you probably won't even be thinking about Crohn's during your wedding with everything that will be going on. For me, the wedding day was such a whirlwind (in a good way) that Crohn's didn't cross my mind. I didn't feel sick, didn't feel cold, didn't feel hunger, etc :)
I was most nervous about the actual ceremony/vows because that would be the most inopportune time to have to make an emergency run to the toilet, so we planned a very short ceremony-- probably 10 minutes. During the reception, it's no biggie if you need to step away for a few moments.
Best of luck!

Basil

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 2/5/2010 12:47 PM (GMT -7)   
It really sounds as if you have anticipatory anxiety. I have it too, always wondering what if. May I suggest you talk to your family doctor about Xanax. I take the lowest dose .25mg and it really helps when my mind wants to take over and it stops the what if's. I am sure you will do fine, but that ol anticipatory likes to strike. Good luck and best wishes on your upcoming marriage. Hugs!
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease & Anxiety/Panic
Crohn's Disease for over 34 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium, Vit D, and Xanax prn. Resections in 2002 & 2005. Also diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, & Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

randynoguts
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6049
   Posted 2/5/2010 9:25 PM (GMT -7)   
got married in '91. had CD since 84.. already had 5 or 6 operations .. we just planned it and went ahead.. i was in the hospital the week before the wedding.. got out the day before , came home and puked all night.. went to the wedding, was white as a sheet and went back to the hospital the next day.. everything been just "great" since then... if we had waited for a better time, it never would have happenned. just do it.. if you end up in the hospiatl you can get married there and she can go back for the reception..
randynoguts 



     http://www.geocities.com/randynogutsweb/

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