dating with Crohn's

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chico41
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 3/11/2010 2:33 PM (GMT -7)   
I am soon to be divoriced.  Never had to date with this dd.  Scared to how the women are going to react with a guy that has to wear depends on somedays and have a pad underneath him incase of an accident. mad  Before i was married i never had these problems.  My wife is a nurse so she understood this dd. 

Post Edited By Moderator (Nanners) : 3/16/2010 7:39:03 AM (GMT-6)


Peaceandhappiness
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 3/11/2010 3:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Diseases do make us think we are unlovable, but we are lovable!

I met my husband in the PRIME of my thyroid condition. I had gained massive weight, somehow he still found me attractive and I just kept getting more and more symptoms over the months/years and sicker. But he ended up marrying me. Now it's mostly under control (thank goodness, but you never know when I can swing hyper or hypo again and have to work on it again). I had like 1/3 of my hair fall out and all sorts of things like asthma, anxiety and you name it. I guess I knew he was the one when he's seen me at my worst.

My aunt has Crohn's pretty bad and has for years and she is married and he's still very much in love w/her. My mom has all sorts of things and my step dad looked past it all and they've been together for a long time. I have an old friend who had a bit of cerebral palsy on one side, that didn't stop her from dating and getting out there!
-Mom of a preschool boy and teenage girl and wife to a wonderful man.
 
Hypothyroid, newly dx'd Crohn's, Gerd. I love to look for natural ways to heal first, conventional ways second and keep my faith.


J-
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 86
   Posted 3/12/2010 3:52 PM (GMT -7)   
hay its not our fault we have cd so be upfront. Let her know that you need to sit by the restroom when you go out to eat. if shes not cool with that then her loss. I found a good girl when I was sick, very sick. We do whatever I feel I can do at the time. If there's one for me - there's one for you too.
diagnosed with crohn's 6-15-09 at age 23.

meds:
asacol: 400mg. 3 3X a day
prednisone: 10mg. 3 in the morning

supplements:
multivitamin, cal/mag, probiotic, fish oil, vitamin C, digestive enzymes, rice protein. looking into l-glutamine next


MAG102886
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 674
   Posted 3/12/2010 4:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I think women are much more understanding about these things then men are, JMHO.  Be upfront with her.  If she isn't ok with it, then you will know not to waste your time.  And don't feel down on yourself if you meet a couple that don't work out, some people just don't have the strength, courage, or patience to be with someone who is sick.
Dianogsed with Crohns: At 16 years old. 23 years old now.
Surgeries:3 Bowel Resections, Gallbladder Removed, 3 Abscess Cleanings, Fistula Repair
Current Meds: Methorexate, Vitamin B12 (injections), Nexium.
Next Surgery: None.
 

jeanneac
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 1812
   Posted 3/12/2010 6:19 PM (GMT -7)   
You'll be ok out there in the dating world. Just be honest and be yourself and when the right person comes along, it will be great. I had only known my husband for 1 year before I got real sick. I had been sick a little while we were dating. He has some health issues as well and it didn't deter me. So, we make a pretty good pair. Perhaps since he understood what it was like to have challenges, he was more understanding of mine.
diagnosed 1/09 with "diverticular colitis" ?? location: sigmoid colon
localized scleroderma, IBS, asthma/allergies, prediabetes, high BP, fibromyalgia, GERD
low thyroid,claritin, advair, singulair, diovan, progesterone, VSL#3 probiotic, Vit. D, colazal
zoloft, rolaids, pepsid (as needed)

ALLERGIC TO SULFA, AND ANTIBIOTICS GIVE ME DIARRHEA!
Blood test positive for Crohn's via prometheus ibd serology panel


tewcute
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 300
   Posted 3/15/2010 3:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Chico41 I wishyou the best of luck in your new life. Don't get too freaked out because it will add to your stress and we all know what effect stress can have on us!! There are lots of great people out there and the ones that cannot accept you for what you are are better off kicked to the curb. I have been dating a wonderful guy for about 8 years now. I had symptoms of IBS(which I now know was mild crohns) the entire time and I remember the first time we went on vacation together I was so afraid because I had not told him about my 'issues'. Like for the first hour in the morning the bathroom must be mine!! :) Well I talked to him and it was so a non issue. We all have our quirks and issues and I believe you can find someone just like that. He has stuck by me through a lot.

FunGuy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 1070
   Posted 3/15/2010 4:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Have lunch weekly at the hospital cafeteria. Meet a nurse!
 


PV
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 1177
   Posted 3/15/2010 7:08 PM (GMT -7)   
I think people take their cues from you for the most part. If you are very down about your illness, and can't think of yourself outside the label of crohn's, then, I think, neither will the people you date. On the other hand, if you tell them that you have Crohn's, it's just something you deal with, and that you have other interests outside of it, and you are upbeat and positive, that they will be ok with it, and slowly over time, get used to the problems that come with Crohn's.

So, keep it light, and hopefully people will respond to that. I wish you good luck and good hunting! And I do think you should expect some people to run a mile, but I think those are not going to be the norm.

PV
Husband with Crohn's
Diagnosed March 2003 Ulcerative Proctitis
Diagnosed March 2008 Crohn's & C-diff, hospitalized 45 days
Crohn's in Remission since June 2008
C-diff recurrence Sep 2009
Reactive Arthritis Nov 2009
Currently c-diff free
Osteopenia of spine (Mar 2010)
Canasa (1gm), Lialda (4.8 gms), Remicade (8 weeks)
Currently In Remission


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 3/16/2010 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   
There will be someone out there for you, don't worry. My first husband couldn't handle having a sick wife. After our divorce, I wondered the same as you if I would find someone again. I did!! I have been married now for over 10 years to the most wonderful man. And he has been with me and loved me thru the worst 10 years of my disease. Don't give up hope, there are good people out there who will love as they should, in good times and bad. Hugs!
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease & Anxiety/Panic
Crohn's Disease for over 34 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium, Vit D, and Xanax prn. Resections in 2002 & 2005. Also diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, & Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

PinkFlipFlops
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 3/16/2010 10:51 AM (GMT -7)   
When I met my husband, he had (and will always have) Ankylosing Spondylitis. He was a physical wreck. His posture is terrible - can't stand up straight because of the disease. His arthritis flares constantly and he's about due for his third hip replacement. I didn't have to think twice about moving forward with our relationship because I loved him despite his disease. When I was diagnosed with Crohn's last year, my biggest fear was that he'd no longer be attracted to me. Turns out he still loves me despite my disease and isn't bothered by the fact that I have extremely embarrassing moments in public or that I sometimes spend entire days on the pot. We make a good pair, let me tell ya.
 
Like Nanners said, there will be someone out there for you. And like PV said, keep it light.  I believe there are support groups that meet locally - consider going. You never know....you may meet a wonderful woman who can relate completely. You'll find the right person. I wish you luck!!
Diagnosed with Crohn's this year at age 38.


crohnielass
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1118
   Posted 3/16/2010 12:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, I was upfront with my with my boyfriend from the start of what could be expected from this crohns saga he has now been my husband and my rock for the last 22 years. there is someone out there for everyone when you meet a lady give it a couple of dates if all is going well just mention your condition ,if she thinks that much of you she will stick around if she goes then she wasn't worth having. good luck Bev x
Diagnosed with crohns at 13 now 43
Reversal of temp ileostomy finally have a date 7th April 2010
Meds: Iron syrup,Loperimide,Folic acid & Citalopram 60mg (for Anxiety.)


" I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."


aoccc
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 455
   Posted 3/16/2010 5:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Just know that everyone you date will have something wrong with them too. They might not come out and tell you and hell they might not even know they have it themselves, but everyone has something :)

**Disclaimer...don't ask on the first date what is wrong with them(never works for me) lol.
SCD since 01, remission since 01, occasional random junk food breaks :)
No meds ever.

Post Edited (aoccc) : 3/16/2010 6:09:34 PM (GMT-6)


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 3/16/2010 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Nothing in nature occurs just once.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


HabsHockeyFan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 3130
   Posted 3/17/2010 5:34 AM (GMT -7)   
I just celebrated my 5 year anniversary with a men I met in my late 30s. I had one surgery in each of the three years we dated (seton, back, gallbladder). On our first date, he made me dinner. I let him "accidentally" see all the pills I take with meals. He was cool with it and even asked me good questions.

A person who knows what you have will react well if you take it in stride I found. I think looking for someone who accepts you for who you are is easier when you get older....I know dating got a lot easier when I was older and more accepting of my life with CD.
Dx'd '90 (emergency rupture), symptoms ignored long before that, '03 fistulas and bad flagyl reactions, B12 weekly, Pentasa [until I surrender to the bigger meds]
I'm riding on the escalator of life....

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