Post Edited (Peaceandhappiness) : 3/11/2010 8:55:42 PM (GMT-7)
Tonight is one of those nights that I ask, “why now?”
Why did Crohn’s have to hit me now, in my mid-thirties?
Why now, when my kids take so much time and attention in order to raise them right?
Why now, when I’m just trying to discover who I am?
Why now, and not in 10 years, or even 5?
Why now, when the financial difficulties we are having make treatment and supplements difficult?
Why now, of all times?
Life was going good, so why now did I have to get a disease that changes such a very basic part of my life as eating? Why do I now have to deal with the daily wonder if I’m going to be alright? WHY NOW???
I can tell you some things, of why now.
I’m so glad it didn’t hit any earlier. I was not strong enough even a year or two ago to tackle this. I would not have survived and been able to continue being a good mom and wife had it hit earlier in my life. I’m strong enough right now, so that’s why now.
This changes things for my kids. But, they are young enough that the changes will be normal as they grow up. If it would have hit in a few years, incorporating my diet into theirs would have been a huge struggle. They will benefit from the better eating.
God wants to teach me something through this. Why now? Because he knows I’m ready. I’m honored that he thinks that I’m ready for this next step. It says a lot about El Papa Dios, and what he wants for me.
Because…..I am strong. I am a fighter. I am determined. I will not let this get the best of me. God’s got me wrapped up in the palm of his hand, and he’ll never let me go. Why now?
Great spirit and attitude! Yes, our minds can tell us all that, me, too with raising kids with their needs (my son is a sickly kid who's having surgery in two weeks) and yes, financial stuff and so on. It's like "we shall get through this" and not only get through this but "I'm gonna enjoy every moment I have with my children and husband and so on". I have was really focused on selling our townhome and moving up to a bigger home; a big stress b/c I don't really work (except online) and one income so that makes it difficult w/the price of homes these days (and our equity is kaput). Now I realize how much stress I put into that, It was even making my son stressed out (yes we do need another bedroom and I would like a little patio or yard or something for the kids, something low maintainance). But this may not be in the cards for us now, so it's either stay here and enjoy our beautiful townhome, or a better idea, we can go rent a little house somewhere and save a bit of money to pay bills better with (and heck get a trip or two once in awhile!). I miss my sis in Colorado, so that's a trip I def need to plan out sometime.