Dad passed away..

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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 381
   Posted 3/30/2010 4:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been away a lot over the last few months spending as much time with my Dad as possible. One of the first posts I read is about the passing of pb4's mom on the same day. My heart goes our to her.
My Dad passed away Sunday morning from bone cancer. So hard to see Dad in so much pain and become a skeleton of the man he was. He fought brave and hard and never complained. Difficult when his memory was so sharp at times and yet so confused at times from all the pain medication.
He had been in the hospital since December, diagnosed last fall, and we did take him out for Christmas to spend with all his family.
Funeral arrangements were made yesterday. Now for the harder to accept part. My Dad was the most loving, forgiving man there ever was. He remarried almost five years ago and there has been so much conflict since. My brother walked out while the arrangements were being made and later I did more to show support to my brother. I did come back to support my sister. My stepmom wanted just five white roses on the casket representing the five years they had been married and the word Husband.  Never mind that he was a Father, Grandfather, Great-Grandfather, Stepfather, etc. and a Friend. And married to my Mom for over 50 years before her passing. I could go on an on but there is so much turmoil, family do not even want to attend but will in honor of our father.
57 yr. old F dx. CD 07/07
Was on prednisone for three months but no medication for next 11 months.
Started weekly methotrexate injections 09/22/08.
Lap assisted sigmoidoscopy done May 11/2009

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 3/30/2010 4:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry for your loss.
Funerals and the aftermath of death unfortunately bring out a terrible amount of unsolved conflict.
Be gentle with everyone...most especially yourself.
Take Care,
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Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
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   Posted 3/30/2010 4:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh I am so sorry to hear this!! Please take care of yourself. Prayers for peace and comfort for you and your family.
Diagnosed with Crohn's in early 2007.  Several peri-rectal abscesses and two fistulae with setons.  Allergic to Remicade and Humira.  Currently on 6MP, and vitamins D and B-12.

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 3/30/2010 5:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh, Bammer, I am so very, very sorry. It is so hard to have to cope with family turmoil on top of grief.

My heart goes out to you all.

Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 448
   Posted 3/30/2010 5:07 PM (GMT -6)   
My condolences to you and your family.
Male, 22. Diagnosed with Crohn's officially since 2001.. Osteoporosis, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Chronic Anemia.

Medications Used: Remicade, Humira, Cimzia, 6-mp, Pentasa, Flagyl, Prednisone, Zifaxan, Entocort,
TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition), The whole nine.

Current: Methotrexate Injection, Entocort EC, Vitamin D, Fentanyl 25mcg / 72hrs - Zofran - Folic Acid
Currently On SSDI

Veteran Member

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   Posted 3/30/2010 5:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Bammer I'm so sorry to hear about your father, I know that he had been ill some sometime and I had wondered where you have been.
I wish you all the strength and power to get through these dark times. Just know that he is in a better palce now.
It is amazing how families are during times like this,but you need to think of yourself and try not to let them bother you. I know its hard.
God bless you and your family
Diagnosed with Crohns in 2001
First and hopefully last Ileocecectomy 2/18/2009

Medications:Humira,  Asacol, FolicAcid,  Multivitamin, 1000mg Calcium, Vitamin D, Probiotics, Pepcid Complete, Questran,  Monthly B-12 injections.

Living a Great life with my Wife and my two Chocolate Labs
Hunter & Hailey.
I love them dearly.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 1810
   Posted 3/30/2010 6:29 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the family situation gets better. Take care of yourself.
diagnosed 1/09 with "diverticular colitis" ?? location: sigmoid colon
localized scleroderma, IBS, asthma/allergies, prediabetes, high BP, fibromyalgia, GERD
low thyroid,claritin, singulair, diovan, progesterone, VSL#3 probiotic, Vit. D, colazal
pexeva, rolaids, pepsid (as needed)

Blood test positive for Crohn's via prometheus ibd serology panel

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 457
   Posted 3/30/2010 6:36 PM (GMT -6)   
So sorry to hear about your loss and family turmoil. I hope that you can all be strong and get through this extremely difficult time.
Dx'd with Crohns 1984
Polycystic kidney disease in 1996
Bowel Resection surgery 2006, Now on Asacol, Endocort, Prednisone, Imuran, Folic acid, and Enalapril.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 2480
   Posted 3/30/2010 7:07 PM (GMT -6)   
My condolences as well.

Sorry also that your stepmom isn't thinking so much about the rest of you guys. She probably feels excluded from the rest of his family since she's only been married to him a short time.

Whatever she does doesn't change your dad being a father, grandfather, etc. He knows that and so do all of you. Try to be peaceful at this time of grieving. Maybe you can set up some kind of small memorabilia picture board or something...? If you do, be sure to include her so there won't be strife.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 390
   Posted 3/30/2010 7:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry for your loss.  I am sorry you are going through a difficult time.
33 yr old Female
Crohn's Colitis
DX 12/06
Currently on Remicade, Humira, 55 30 mg Prednisone, Multivitamin, Calcium, Probiotics, Vitamin D, a few other herbal supplements my natureopath has me on.
Eating a Macrobiotic diet, no meat or dairy, trying to cut way back on sugar and white foods.  Trying to focus on a more holistic approach to healing. 

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 105
   Posted 3/30/2010 7:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Diagnosed w/ Crohn's 2010
Current meds: Pentasa, prednisone taper

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 3/30/2010 7:27 PM (GMT -6)   
My deepest sympathy. (((hugs)))

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
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Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 253
   Posted 3/30/2010 7:42 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry... you are in my thoughts
female 20, diagnosed crohns december 2008
entocort/pentasa previously, now prednisone(tapering) & 100 mg imuran, moving onto humira injections, probiotics, calcium w/d3, biotin, folic acid, zinc, omega 3s, digestive enzymes & prenatal multivitamin

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 1177
   Posted 3/30/2010 8:13 PM (GMT -6)   
My condolences. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Sounds like it is beyond stressful, losing a dad is hard enough, to have to deal with family strife on top of it is just terrible. I'm so sorry. Remember that it is his life that matters, and the fact that you spent as much time as you could with him, and that he loved you and you loved him. He probably doesn't care how many roses there are at his funeral; he knows you love him. Keep that in your heart, and don't let the stress of the situation get to you. It is a rough time, and do try to take care of yourself.

Husband with Crohn's
Diagnosed March 2003 Ulcerative Proctitis
Diagnosed March 2008 Crohn's & C-diff, hospitalized 45 days
Crohn's in Remission since June 2008
C-diff recurrence Sep 2009
Reactive Arthritis Nov 2009
Currently c-diff free
Osteopenia of spine (Mar 2010)
Canasa (1gm), Lialda (4.8 gms), Remicade (8 weeks)
Currently In Remission

Julia Hill
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Date Joined Mar 2008
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   Posted 3/30/2010 8:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself, your dad would want that.


Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 405
   Posted 3/30/2010 9:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry for your loss.

Elite Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20552
   Posted 3/30/2010 9:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh Bammer, I'm floored right now after reading your post.....I am so sorry for your loss and freaked out at the same time that we both are going through this right now, same day and everything...we are definitely connected more now than before (both of us being in Alberta) heart aches for you and your family as well and just know that you are definitely in my thoughts and I'm sending you a ((((((((((HUGE HUG)))))) SINCEREST CONDOLANCES AND THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. We will get through this.
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vitamins C-calcium ascorbate (easy on the gut) and vitamin A each once/day
Prodiem fibre supplement one cap before bed
I've also altered my diet (no junky stuff at all, processed, fast-foods, refined sugars, ect) and exercise regularly.
I went from 30+ bloody BM's/day with lots of lower back pain to an average of 5/day no bleeding no back pain and completely formed stools, still have severe urgency issues.
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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 381
   Posted 3/30/2010 10:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you everyone for your wishes and kind thoughts. Your support means a lot and really does help to have another place to turn to.
I just talked to my sister for an hour on the phone and she said maybe Dad is with Mom right now and definately free from pain. I am thankful for all the time Dad and I had together these last few months to say and show how much we loved each other.
57 yr. old F dx. CD 07/07
Was on prednisone for three months but no medication for next 11 months.
Started weekly methotrexate injections 09/22/08.
Lap assisted sigmoidoscopy done May 11/2009

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6044
   Posted 3/30/2010 11:07 PM (GMT -6)   
sorry about your dad :-(

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 506
   Posted 3/31/2010 12:25 AM (GMT -6)   
My condolences.
Diagnosed with CD July 2007
Currently on Remicade, Imuran, probiotics, folic acid, multivitamin.
Resection December 2009

Amor fati - Nietzsche

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 681
   Posted 3/31/2010 2:34 AM (GMT -6)   
My dad died 2 years ago and I (we) watched him struggle with his disease and loose so much weight, similar to your father he and we new at the end that it was the best thing for him but that never makes it easy. I too have great memories of the last few years of Dad's life that I treasure even now. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family Bammer. Rob
Male, 54 years old with Crohn's since 15 years old, diagnosed at age 46. Terminal ileum resected 2002. 5 months of remission. Crohn's has now been active since early 2003. Had a gall bladder removed Nov. of 2009. Currently on Remicade every 8 weeks, Nexium, Iron, B-12 injection every 4 weeks,5-asa Asacol, Morphine Sulfate as needed for pain. Cymbalta for long term pain control. 5-asa Salofalk, Entecort, Imuran and Prednisone in the past.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3296
   Posted 3/31/2010 6:10 AM (GMT -6)   
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,
Jon,  Co-moderator for Crohn's Disease, Depression, & Celiac Disease forums
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret." -- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet 
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Equestrian Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3106
   Posted 3/31/2010 6:27 AM (GMT -6)   
my condolences to you and your family.
Crohn’s dx 1989
some terrible years before my
Proctocolectomy in 2008

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 414
   Posted 3/31/2010 7:00 AM (GMT -6)   
My thoughts are with you bammer, such a sad time. I hope that your family eventually pull together, last thing you need at a time like this is conflict. Thinking of you and your family.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 3/31/2010 7:18 AM (GMT -6)   
I lost my dad 9 years ago so I understand what you are going through. My prayers are with you and your family. It will get better in time.
age 41,diagnosed with CD in 11/07, Rx Pentasa 4000mg and Remicade.

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