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Sofee
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 4/2/2010 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
cry

Yes, I am sure all of us here at this site has asked this question way to often.
I know I have.
Why me?
Why do I have to suffer so much? Why do YOU have to go thru all this crap?
Why is it so much to ask to just want to be normal, like everyone else?
I'm a good person, I haven't ever asked for much, I work hard, very hard, I love my family, I am greatful & thankful,
its just no fair that I have to spend all night in the bathroom and walk around with a sore butt all the time.

And why do some men feel they have to relive their childhood - WITHOUT their wives?
I am totally fine with living life on the edge and trying new things and going out there and really living life.
That's FANTASTIC! But how is it that someone can just fall out of love with you, and say they are tired and don't want to deal with it no more? It's so sick! A marriage has its twists and turns and times can be hard, but you gotta work at it TOGETHER and stay strong.
WHY is it so easy these days for young couples to just say "the hell with it"? Barely anyone anymore stays together.
Its so sad. cry

We all have our own personal issues to deal with I guess.... I apologize for going on about mine. I guess I'm just looking for support and answers to the BIGGEST question .... WHY?

Thanks for reading & listening.
33 yr. old female CANADIAN
dx with UC October 1998
had temp j-pouch: '98-'99
disease free & back to norm: '99-'07
dx. with CD March 2009
Currently taking: Remicade mthly & Imarun


In my next life: I want to be a big beautiful oak tree or something like that... so I can live off of just sunshine and water.


NiceCupOfTea
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 8584
   Posted 4/2/2010 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
My answers are, respectively, "Why not?" and "Life is unfair."

I don't mean that in a harshly critical way and I apply them to myself as much as anyone else. Most of that time that long-distance way of viewing it helps me, but there are days when I get supremely fed up, even desperate. Without going into detail, I only emerged from a short but severe depression for the first time today. Today I'm calm. I have no idea why. I think the mind is self-protective and self-correcting to some degree; it can only feel utter despair for so long before eventually it decides that, as nothing is going to change, it might just as well calm down now.

Some folks will bring God into it, but if you don't possess faith that's not an answer. Life is mysterious, whether you believe in God or not. Just why are there so many diseases, many of them hideous, in the first place?

As for your husband, he's obviously not one of life's stayers. Why some wives/husbands run away at the first sign of difficulty, while others would lay down their lives for their spouses, is another mystery of life :-/

Bammer
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 381
   Posted 4/2/2010 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
My heart goes out to you. Hopefully you are as strong as that big beautiful oak tree.
57 yr. old F dx. CD 07/07
Was on prednisone for three months but no medication for next 11 months.
Started weekly methotrexate injections 09/22/08.
Lap assisted sigmoidoscopy done May 11/2009


FallColors
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1220
   Posted 4/2/2010 5:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Sofee,

Sounds like you are really going through some hard times right now. Hard times, especially a chronic illness, really makes you evaluate what is important in life and what life is all about. For me, it is about seeking out and getting into a right relationship with our Creator. What ever it is for you, I truly hope you have easier times ahead! And soon!!
Diagnosed with Crohn's in early 2007.  Several peri-rectal abscesses and two fistulae with setons.  Allergic to Remicade and Humira.  Currently on 6MP, and vitamins D and B-12.


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 4/2/2010 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   
You're right. It's not fair. I wish I had some answers for you, but all I can do is send you a big hug.

I hope life starts feeling better for you soon.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~


Sofee
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 4/2/2010 9:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the GOOD words guys, and yes Bammer ... I do want to BIG, STRONG, AND BEAUTIFUL like that oak tree.
I will make that my motivation! Heck, I always say: "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."


I should tattoo that on my butt.
:oD
33 yr. old female CANADIAN
dx with UC October 1998
had temp j-pouch: '98-'99
disease free & back to norm: '99-'07
dx. with CD March 2009
Currently taking: Remicade mthly & Imarun


In my next life: I want to be a big beautiful oak tree or something like that... so I can live off of just sunshine and water.


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 4/3/2010 9:15 AM (GMT -7)   
(((Sofee))) Just wanted to give you a big cyber hug!!
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease & Anxiety/Panic
Crohn's Disease for over 34 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium, Vit D, and Xanax prn. Resections in 2002 & 2005. Also diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, & Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

isergodur
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 831
   Posted 4/3/2010 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
(((((((((( Big hug too you )))))))))))

I try to think better me than anyone else.
If someone has to be sick I would want it to be me not anyone else I know or not know.

Try to stay positive and think about all the good things in your life.
When life sucks I try to find funny small things to be glad about, there is always something.

Like my amazing bed, comfy toilet, my good doctor, my wonderful dogs, the fact that my moonface is almost gone and so on :)
25 year old female from Iceland.
Diagnosed with : Endometriosis march 2007, Anxiety disorder august 2007, CD/UC they don't know witch October 2008, Autoimmune Hepatitis in July 2009
Medication - Humira, Asacol, Librax, Cipralex and Cerazette.

My wonderful dogs :) ~ www.poodle.is ~


PV
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 1177
   Posted 4/3/2010 5:16 PM (GMT -7)   
(((Hugs))) Sounds like things are pretty rough right now. Hang in there. I keep asking myself those questions too sometimes (I'm dealing with it better now than I did 2 years ago). My husband is the kindest, most loyal, nicest, most generous, most ethical, most loving and most decent human being I know. But he has Crohn's, suffers so many indignities . . . his body is just letting him down so badly. I really can't see how him getting Crohn's disease is in any way fair.

But what I've learned is that life isn't about fair, life is about what you make of it. It's short, sometimes incredibly painful and sometimes unbelievably beautiful, and is always ever changing. Also, if your partner leaves because of Crohn's, I think that partner would have left regardless at some point, for some reason. You're better off without that kind of fickleness of character.

Isergodur, I have no idea how you have such a wonderful attitude, but I'm going to try to adopt some of that. My husband too has a similar attitude. Since he got sick, he's been into mindfulness meditation, and he just enjoys and appreciates everything around him, and is happy for each good day that he has. In a small way, I think being hit hard with Crohn's has made him actually take stock of his life, and take the time to smell the roses, and enjoy it. And I think if he got into another flare, it would help him still focus on the positives.

Hugs Sofee. Vent anytime you need to. We certainly understand.

PV
Husband with Crohn's
Diagnosed March 2003 Ulcerative Proctitis
Diagnosed March 2008 Crohn's & C-diff, hospitalized 45 days
Crohn's in Remission since June 2008
C-diff recurrence Sep 2009
Reactive Arthritis Nov 2009
Currently c-diff free
Osteopenia of spine (Mar 2010)
Canasa (1gm), Lialda (4.8 gms), Remicade (8 weeks)
Currently In Remission

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