Can things just go easy for a change?

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 4/20/2010 10:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so tired of dealing with the multiple complications associated with this disease. I just ended up needing a 3rd surgery this past week. This time not to take any bowel away but to fix an incisional hernia from my surgery in 2006. Recovery stinks, they found a belly full of adhesions, I have no energy, and I am having difficulty with my short term memory. I have to take 2 10mg of ambien to sleep each night rather than the normal 10 mg dose. Depression is always an onging struggle. I find I still suppress my feelings even when angry. My claim against my employeer for discrimination is stuck with the EEOC for over a year and they say it may be a year yet before it is finished. Which means any civil suit is still on hold. I am still struggling with having been forced into medical retirement because of the hostile work environment. And . . .
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating:
Dx'd with Crohn's at age 12. Symptoms since age 5, RLS, Depression, Anxiety, and down right feel yucky some days.
Learning to live with this Disease rather than be its victim after 36 years.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 232
   Posted 4/20/2010 10:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for sharing. We all know how much this sucks.

CD 24 years. Multiple surgeries in past 10 yrs. 4 year Illeostomy. Mesh rejection. Too close to death, twice. Large inscisional hernia. Perpetually underweight. Short bowel syndrom. Have used a variety of complementary medical therapies. Highly recommend Bowen Therapy as the best body work. Take me vites. Started Low Dose Naltrexone March 27, 2010. Got married for the only time 2008. Survive because of the love of good friends, and because I can. Happy to be alive. IBD needs more awareness and more voices willing to speak up. BE well.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 4/21/2010 8:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry to hear you are still feeling bad Randy and still fighting with your former employers. Will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease & Anxiety/Panic
Crohn's Disease for over 34 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium, Vit D, and Xanax prn. Resections in 2002 & 2005. Also diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, & Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 1070
   Posted 4/21/2010 8:46 AM (GMT -6)   
I am feeling you brother. Hang tuff.
I don't try to surpress my feelings but it seems like I am often numb.  I think to myself where are my emotions?  When I was so desperately sick in February and early March it seemed like I cried all the time, usually from depression mixed with pain. I am doing a lot better now but still feel completely licked.  Can't travel.  I used to like to hike to remote places and lakes to fish but I am afraid that the physical stress will cause my flare to get worse.  It has happened before, when I was relatively healthy.  Nothing else seems like fun to me and even the fishing I am not sure about.  (another sign of depression?) 
At least we understand that we are depressed, because of chronic illness.  I think that is half the battle.  Professional counsel might be a good idea if it gets to be too much to handle on your own.   Give yourself a break too.  You aren't a freakin super hero, just a guy fighting a tough tough battle.  Maybe not endless though.  Lots of technology on the horizon.  I AM optimistic for a cure despite 35 years of illness.
Good luck

Post Edited (FunGuy) : 4/21/2010 8:06:54 AM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 4/21/2010 11:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi CheerDad, sorry you have so much on your plate. I cant help you with most of what you have to deal with but I can say a few words about your law suit. I too was forced into a medical retirement. I can tell you it ate me up inside for years . Later I got a grip on just what I was doing to myself. Hey, I sure wasn't hurting them, just me. I started looking at the good side of being retired. No money , oh well, but no stinking A hole boss either. I found a little part time work to make a few bucks, I rest when I can , fish when I can, and I let go of the anger that was killing me. Let your lawyers do what they do and try to enjoy the freedom of not working for a bunch of non careing Butt holes. Dont let them into your life anymore. They are not worth it. Hope all gets better for you soon and know we are here ffor you even if its just to listen.
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 8414
   Posted 4/21/2010 8:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Sniper's post really. The anger will eat you up from inside and not touch your former employers. I say this as one who hasn't been in your particular situation but who has had lifelong issues with depression, and bad anger issues for the last 10 years. (Not caused by Crohn's, but obviously coincided with it.) Anger can't be dropped like a stone, but if you are aware of it you can work on letting it go over a period of time. Depending on personality/personal circumstances you may never be able to let it go entirely, but you don't have to be a slave to it. Also, although it sounds like you repress your anger rather than express it, angry people are no fun to be around. At all. For those who verbally/physically lose their temper frequently, this is something they ought to use as motivation to become less angry.

Anyway, although I don't know you, I do feel for your struggles. I hope things get better.

(Agree with FunGuy's post in its entirety too, and identify with the first paragraph.)

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/21/2010 11:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow my friend its been a long time
sorry all this chit is coming your way but i agree totally with Sniper..let the anger go my friend n let the lawyers do their work..
plz post more
you hv been missed
..Co Moderator for Crohns...Anxiety/Panic......Alzheimers

DX..Crohns,,,A/P...Fibro...Seizures..Neuropathy...Pyoderma Gangrenosum..Deaf

I Refuse To Give Up....Others Are Worse Off Than I Am

Donate to
MEDS..Lyrica..Dilatin...Pentasa...Folic acid....Ativan..,Diazapam prn..Trazadone at HS..T 4s PRN


Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 681
   Posted 4/22/2010 2:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Cheerdad why is it that everything in life with crohn's such a battle? My battles are different from yours but I feel your pain too. One day at a time is the only way I don't go crazy. Just deal with what you can today thats all. good luck!
Male, 54 years old with Crohn's since 15 years old, diagnosed at age 46. Terminal ileum resected 2002. 5 months of remission. Crohn's has now been active since early 2003. Had a gall bladder removed Nov. of 2009. Currently on Remicade every 8 weeks, Nexium, Iron, B-12 injection every 4 weeks,5-asa Asacol, Morphine Sulfate as needed for pain. Cymbalta for long term pain control. 5-asa Salofalk, Entecort, Imuran and Prednisone in the past.

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