do you ever ask yourself...

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debilitated
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 448
   Posted 5/6/2010 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Man, A GirlFriend or Boyfriend would solve so many of my problems?
Male, 22. Diagnosed with Crohn's officially since 2001.. Osteoporosis, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Chronic Anemia.

Medications Used: Remicade, Humira, Cimzia, 6-mp, Pentasa, Flagyl, Prednisone, Zifaxan, Entocort,
TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition), The whole nine.

Current: Methotrexate Injection, Entocort EC, Vitamin D, Fentanyl 25mcg / 72hrs - Zofran - Folic Acid
Currently On SSDI


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 5/6/2010 5:41 PM (GMT -7)   
No.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


Becoming undone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 927
   Posted 5/6/2010 5:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Nope...
My analogy...they whipped creme on top of hot chocolate. You know, hot chocolate is so yummy and delicious without the whipped creme, that that whipped creme makes it extra delicious...so much better...however, if that creme has turned bad, it can make the whole cup of hot chocolate bad and it would have been better the just have the hot chocolate without the whipped creme...
"The earth laughs in flowers"


debilitated
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 448
   Posted 5/6/2010 5:50 PM (GMT -7)   
i do. "(
Male, 22. Diagnosed with Crohn's officially since 2001.. Osteoporosis, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Chronic Anemia.

Medications Used: Remicade, Humira, Cimzia, 6-mp, Pentasa, Flagyl, Prednisone, Zifaxan, Entocort,
TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition), The whole nine.

Current: Methotrexate Injection, Entocort EC, Vitamin D, Fentanyl 25mcg / 72hrs - Zofran - Folic Acid
Currently On SSDI


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 5/6/2010 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
What I know for sure, having a significant other does not really solve problems. They can be great wonderful add to your life, but they do not solve problems.
Of course, you think that way, you are 22, that is what you are suppose to think at 22.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


NiceCupOfTea
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 8566
   Posted 5/6/2010 7:04 PM (GMT -7)   
No, I gave up thinking that what feels like a lifetime ago but in reality was probably about 10 years ago.

spookyh
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1342
   Posted 5/6/2010 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I think having a man in my life would really just compound my problems!
34 years old, Crohn's disease for 15 of them
Resection of ileocecal valve on 09/22/09
Current Meds: LDN, Pentasa, Effexor XR, Zyrtec
Supplements: 3 kinds of Fish Oil, Multi-Vitamin, Vitamin D, Calcium, Magnesium, Coconut Oil, Garlic Oil, CoQ10, Enzymes
SCD since 12/01/08 - eating Stage 3 foods


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 5/6/2010 7:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I'd like to have a SO, but, realistically speaking, I don't think I'd be good company or make a good partner right now.

What problems are you hoping a girlfriend would solve, Debilitated? Are you struggling to cope on your own there? Need help getting to and from appointments? Want some emotional support? Something else?
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~


MToronto2
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 232
   Posted 5/6/2010 10:02 PM (GMT -7)   
At 22 there are certain things that would make your day brighter, someone to hug and hold, etc.. etc.. is obviously one of them.

They cannot make your problems go away, but they can balance them out.

My rule for years was, It takes a mighty fine man (woman) to be better than no man (woman) at all. And in the mean time I made friends, got out and sometimes even got some "fun."

I had my periods when I too felt to sick to engage in a relationship, and I also chose to be single for the first couple of years after entering remission, to enjoy myself this way. Fun :)

I didn't get married until I was in my 40's, it's not even 2 years ago. Tell ya one thing, the mighty fine man is better than the others, and of course, better than no man at all, but no man at all was much better for me, especially when I was so sick, than a guy who didn't get me or my situation.

One thing I learned along the way, to give myself the love attention and comfort that I wanted from a partner, which was not so easy to do at first, but it made me recognize what I needed and I didn't settle for less in this way.

Your 22 on your better days, get out there, find the love in the simple things. I'm sure your mighty fine woman will show up as long as you stay open to it.

Inoculate yourself from loneliness by finding and being a good friend.

Hang in there :)
CD 24 years. Multiple surgeries in past 10 yrs. 4 year Illeostomy. Mesh rejection. Too close to death, twice. Large inscisional hernia. Perpetually underweight. Short bowel syndrom. Have used a variety of complementary medical therapies. Highly recommend Bowen Therapy as the best body work. Take me vites. Started Low Dose Naltrexone March 27, 2010. Got married for the only time 2008. Survive because of the love of good friends, and because I can. Happy to be alive. IBD needs more awareness and more voices willing to speak up. BE well.


Charlee
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 5/7/2010 1:51 AM (GMT -7)   
I guess it depends on what sort of problems you're referring to. But if its problems relating to your health, one think I learnt from day 1 on this forum is that there is a enormous amount of understanding, listening, advice, laughter and relief when your feeling down. People are especially quick to respond to cries of urgent help and will listen and advise intensely. If you are lucky enough to find a partner who can sympathise with whats going on...thats great. But if its empathy your looking for, this forum is second to none, Im sure. Dont see us as words on a screen, but people who are there for you when need be. We all cant walk down the isle with you, but we sure can let you vent, and seek some inner strength when needed. Hope that helps!

Charlee
37y/o female from Australia
Dx: crohns april 2010
Meds: Currently : prednisone, calcium, vit d, nexium, probiotics, fish oil


tsitodawg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 845
   Posted 5/7/2010 2:28 AM (GMT -7)   
While having love in your life does not give you the answers to all of the problems or heal your disease, it can certainly help with the emotional pain. Of course it honestly depends on the partner and his or her ability to cope with and support your battle. Some people truly can not understand or choose to not understand the pain and sickeness toll that this disease can have on you. It is also important when you have a significant other in your life to support them and not too consumed in your own life that you forget their needs. I was married 8 years ago when I was 22 years old and I have not regretted it since. Having her in my life has helped me think of someone else besides myself and helped me appreciate someone more than I ever thought that I could. The fact that she went to work fulltime after I had been supporting us and that she is now seeking a second degree to pursue a job in nursing to give us a better life, tells me that someone truly cares for me. She is only 27 years old and could easily be living a much easier life than what she has now and I have always given her to option to leave without any bitterness. She chooses to stay which causes me to choose to fight harder and I love her for that.
So no love does not solve everything but love with the right person means everything. Bill Mahar put it best when he said," True love is like a Toyota, once it starts you can stop it." and I am out. lol

almost30inMI
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 5/7/2010 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Having a SO can be a blessing or a curse. Depending on the person you find. If they put their needs infront of yours, then you could end up feeling guilty about not being able to do normal couple things. Then you are compounding the physical pain and emotional pain/guilt. At 22 it is harder to find a young person that is willing to understand your needs and gets you. I would focus on understanding yourself and having fun with others when you can. If you find someone, good for you. But if you find your self alone, you should be ok with that. There are many people who care about you and want the best for you here.
I did quite a bit of soul searching in college and my senior year found the love of my life. I wasn't looking for anyone, but it just happened. A good sense of self is worth the time spent alone. He understands the days when I can't go out or feel too tired to make dinner or hog the bathroom :) Good luck and enjoy every day!
Diagnosed with Crohns in 1998. Been on and off pred, entocort, immuran, asacol. Currently on Remicade every 6 weeks along with Asacol. Began having joint pain 01/2010.

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