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Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 6/28/2010 6:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I ended up doing a spontaneous tlc this morning by giving myself permission to go back to bed for another hour, because I was feeling pretty zonked. I'm now sitting here trying to find some - any - motivation for Tuesday... and guess what? I don't have any. eyes

Things I have to do:

* appointment
* make some food that I can eat

Things I ought to do, because I feel bad about myself when I don't:

* some dishes
* some tidying in kitchen
* some general cleaning / tidying
* make bed
* put away stock
* exercise

Things that I feel remotely interested in doing right now:

* write letter to penfriend (long overdue)
* read story

Things that will cheer me up in the long-term, but need more brain power than I have right now to deal with:

* spend some time dealing with stressy paperwork mess
* make stressy phone calls that are related to stressy paperwork mess

I might alternate ten minutes writing / reading with a few minutes of housework until I feel more human.

Have a good day, everyone.

An uninspired Ivy. rolleyes
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 266
   Posted 6/28/2010 6:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Ivy:  yellow sticky note lists keep me motivated . . . .but I think you trump the list by going back to bed and sleepin in!  Sounds lovely . . .overslept this am and had to rush off to work, dash in to buy gas before the E became really EEEEE!
Favorite thing in the am is watching a taped (DVR'd show) and fastforwarding through the commercials! 

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 6/28/2010 7:14 PM (GMT -6)   
:-) Yes, I like to do that too.

You did well buying the petrol, especially when you were late and in a rush!

I've done a lot of my dishes, run a dusting cloth over some of the more offensively dusty surfaces in the lounge room, and made one annoying paperworky phone call, and emailed the results to someone else.

Off I go again.

Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 8410
   Posted 6/29/2010 7:48 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm in a slightly odd mood today; tired but wired. Not sure where the wired aspect has come from, but I don't much like it :-/

Hope you're feeling a bit better by now, Ivy. I do strongly identify with the lack of motivation/inspiration, unfortunately. Hours pass by in a haze and I don't even notice until I start feeling better; then I realise how utterly braindead I had felt previously.


* Read for at least an hour (I've got quite a few books I want to read, but I just can't seem to wrap my head around reading atm)
* Go to bed at 3am; don't just log off then but actually go to bed

That's all I can think of, which isn't very impressive :-/ I still feel quite zonked, to be honest. I will wake up later on, but I hate it when that happens. I'm desperately trying to move from a night time schedule to one that is a bit more in tune with the rest of the world. It's no good being tired all day and then waking up in the evening or, worse, midnight.

I also need to think about other things. These range from fairly trivial (buying a digital camera), to less trivial (taking up a new hobby, eg learning guitar, resume learning CSS, embarking upon an exercise regime) to important (voluntary or part-time work, choosing a course to study). It's so easy to let the days and weeks and months and even years slip by. I'm absolutely dreadful at imposing a schedule upon myself, and I don't know why. I also find it hard to follow schedules imposed from the outside, eg by a job. This is what I need to work upon, as otherwise another year will slip by without me having achieved anything.

Sorry, just thinking to myself there. Thank you for the tlc threads, Ivy. If you can bear with my ramblings, these threads may - just may - prove the springboard for my diving into action. I have a lifestyle where I can be lazy, and it hasn't done my character any good. I need to be challenging my tendency towards inertia constantly, if I am to overcome it.

*thinks* Well, I have to go out quite soon and I really can't do anything right now. Gotta think how I can take baby steps to start with. It really does hurt to think about it, too.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 634
   Posted 6/29/2010 9:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Tuesday TLC

* spray weedkiller in front and back jungle, i mean garden! (DONE)
* wash some dishes
* shave legs
* spend some time outside in sunshine
* be ready to leave for 5.30pm for my iron infusion appt at hospital
* listen to music

I went into town yesterday, first time i have been out on my own in months. I got the bus in and sat in the local park for awhile to cool off. It was so lovely just sitting in the shade, listening to my music and sipping a cold can of diet coke. I actually felt happy, and i cant tell you the last time i felt like that. Now i must make time to try to recapture that feeling, even if everything else is falling apart.
Dx - Crohn's - 2006, Depression = 2010
Currently - Humira fornightly, iron tablets, B12 3 monthly, prenatal vits+minerals
Tried - aza, pentasa, questran, infliximab
No crohns' surgeries to date, Episcleritis for 3 weeks,
Allergic to Infliximab
Doing BSc (Hons) degree Equine Science - some support from uni. This year has had to be split in to two.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 351
   Posted 6/29/2010 9:07 AM (GMT -6)   

Just wanted to mention that I enjoy reading your tlc lists. What does it stand for again? I suspect it's the to do list. Anyway, your lists motivate me.



Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1338
   Posted 6/29/2010 11:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Ivy -- I slept in too!! Felt guilty about it because it caused me to miss breakfast with my daughter. Hubby encouraged it though. I'll be losing enough sleep when my little man comes home. Good for you on tackling some paperwork. I really should submit some for medical bills and before my boy comes home. I technically have until Sept 1, so I'll probably procrastinate.

- spend day with son at hospital
- lunch, dinner and bedtime with my daughter
- eat a healthy meal at sone point
- bed by 10:30 (I'm being realistic now, I tend to stay at the hospital until 10)

bonus-- hang the diapers out in the sun and sit outside for a bit. It's a gorgeous day, but I can only squeeze this in at lunch if it works with my son's eating schedule.
Mom to a healthy Pentasa baby and pregnant with #2. 5+ years remission, woo hoo!

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 6/29/2010 5:26 PM (GMT -6)   
TLC = Tender Loving Care

NCOT, I so relate to what you said in your post. I'm suffering from a lot of braindeadedness, and lack of motivation, too, and, like you, it's only once it lifts that I realise just how bad it has been. Unfortunately, it doesn't lift that often.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm a bit depressed, and am simply too deep in it to notice.

Anyway. I sympathise. Please don't beat yourself up about all the things you "should" be doing. It seems to me you're doing a lot already. Take babysteps! They'll last longer.

Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 8410
   Posted 6/30/2010 8:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Well, I met yesterday's tlc :p ... I suppose when I set such modest goals... <_<. On the other hand, the zonked feeling never really went away. It was lucky I got my reading done straight after dinner, because by later on I was feeling quite ill really. I'm better today, though.

@Ivy - You could be a bit depressed... :-/ I hope not, but it is definitely one possibility. I do hope that your mood lifts in a more substantial way soon. Fingers crossed for it.

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 6/30/2010 5:32 PM (GMT -6)   
:-P I am a bit depressed. I checked with my psychologist yesterday. So that explains a lot.

NCOT, could you tell us a little more about your zonked feeling? Does it ever lift, and if so, does it tend to lift at a particular time of day? Do you have a lot of body aches?
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 8410
   Posted 6/30/2010 8:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Ah okay :p ... That's actually not really very good news, but it's just comforting to have an explanation somehow :-/

I'm feeling super-zonked right now, that's for sure. (Although it's lifted a teensy tad; maybe getting up to open the window and let in a bit of fresh air helped.) It's tiredness, but not sleepy tiredness. It's like a heavy, weary fatigue - "bone tired". Sometimes it's mild and I'm aware it's there, but can put it to one side. Other times it's more debilitating. about two months ago I was absolutely shattered and I practically had to drag myself around. At the same time my dad had a stroke (it affected his speech, but not anything else except his right hand a little) and I had to drive to the hospital every day, plus take over as sole driver. I was not happy driving, feeling the way I did.

I then went on a course of Entocort and that did seem to give me more energy. I tapered down to 3mg recently and I think the tiredness is making a comeback. If it lifts, it's usually in the afternoon; occasionally late at night. Tends to be worse in the evening, after dinner is over. Food definitely affects it; the more I eat the more lethargic I feel, and it goes on for hours and hours.

Not really a lot of body aches, though, apart from a stomach ache - but that's par for the course with the Crohn's... I sometimes feel a bit achey, I guess, but it's not something which jumps out at me. Used to get low-grade fevers until fairly recently, but those have stopped. Except I suspect they haven't really stopped, but are being suppressed by the 6MP... :-/

Oh, and I had an iron transfusion almost 2 weeks ago and am due a second one this Friday. So far I haven't noticed it giving me any more energy... :-/

Don't fret about replying to this in any kind of detail. I probably waffled, something I tend to do more often when tired. I think after this reply I will actually log off and go to bed in fact.
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