korine, welcome to the forum! While I haven't been in a LDR, I can tell you that we had a post on here recently where many people said they prefer just to be left alone when they are flaring. I know that when I am at work and I'm miserable/in pain, I really don't want to talk to anyone. And while my husband is great for rubbing my back when I'm having severe stomach spasms, there are times that I'd rather just be alone for a while.
I understand that not talking doesn't help the relationship any, but just know that what she is doing...seeming to pull away...is not unusual for someone in a flare. She may also have so much other stuff on her mind. While she may appear to be fighing this with a passion, many of us put on a front for everyone else and we really aren't as strong inside as we appear on the outside. She may go to work everyday, but it may be making her so sick that she wonders if she will be able to continue working.
I am in a similair situation with my some with my son. It is a tough call. maybe some ground rules need to be established. when you talk, is the Crohn's the first thing to come up? sometimes my son wants to talk about anything BUT Crohn's. my wife and I have some real trouble keeping our mouthes shut. She might not want to hear how much you understand, and know what she is going through. None of us, nomatter how close we are to the person can know what they are going through.
Crohn's is a HUGE deal to the person diagnosed and the people close. time is needed to come to terms. One thing that is very hard to wrap your head around is that it is a life sentence(for now).
the one thing that makes the lifestyle changes a little easier for my boy is that we all make the changes with him. when he needs to stay away from certain foods or treats, we take it out of the household diet.
she may need to rant and scream at the unfairness of it all. let her. it's not about you.
because of how Crohn's manifests, there are intimacy issues that may make her uncomfortable. that can be a delicate subject to broach.
maybe take some time and take her some soup. go with her to a doctors appointment. find out about her diet. let her know that you are in it for the long run. let her know that, as far as you're concerned, she may have Crohn's, but Crohn's doesn't have her. hope this helps