Feeling Down about Weight/Being a Sick Person

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ProfCrohny
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 8/3/2010 9:13 AM (GMT -7)   
I haven't written on this site for quite some time. I'm definitely feeling much better than I was when I first got sick, but I still haven't gotten all of the weight off from prednisone, yet. I'm down to 136 lbs, which I know is an improvement. Although, I would like to be closer t 125 lbs (my pre-Crohn's weight). After I went off of prednisone I went up to about 160 lbs.

My problem is that ever since I got sick, about 3 years ago, I have viewed myself as a sick person. All I can see is that I'm not physically or mentally where I was before I got sick and that observation leads to a lot of negative thinking, such as a sick self-concept that I have of myself. I've even had a couple of failed romantic relationships and it's hard for me to not feel as though it was partially related to my illness. I still get very fatigued about once a week or once every other week (sometimes with accompanying tremors) and my first thought is "who would want to be with someone with these problems...what a drag." The fact that I haven't gotten all of the weight off doesn't help either, because I wind up feeling unattractive. I know my thoughts are exceedingly negative right now, but I wondered if other people have similar thoughts. If so, how do you deal with it. I was really positive when I first got sick, but overtime everything has become harder to deal with. Any help would be much appreciated.
Female, 33. Diagnosed August 2007 with Crohn's Colitis. Asacol 400 mg 6 x day, Orthotricyclin Lo, Calcium, and multivitamin.

ZenaWP
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 884
   Posted 8/3/2010 10:08 AM (GMT -7)   
LME, I think it's very understandable to have these feelings at times.  My arthritis is become increasingly debilitating and I cannot do the things I used to do (and I'm 29).  For one, it has made me not feel myself because I can't go to the gym anymore, I can't play with my nephews, etc.  But, I also don't feel like going anywhere and I don't feel attractive because I have lost all of the muscle I worked so hard to gain at the gym and have gained fat in it's place.  I'm still thin for my height, but my body shape has changed and I can't wear some of the clothes I used to wear.  I feel like it would cause problems with my husband except that he has back problems and he hurts too badly to do stuff most of the time as well.  We are like two really old people except that we're both 29. 
 
I know it's hard, but you should take pride in the fact that you are already more than half way to your weight goal and you are actually improving from when you first got sick.  Keep up hope that this pattern continues.  And there is nothing wrong with thinking of yourself as a sick person...you do need to remember to take it easier on your body than you did before you got sick.  But, think of things that you couldn't do before when you were sicker that you can do now and you will see that you have come a long way.  Hopefully that will continue. 
 
If you feel like you need extra help, see a therapist, psychiatrist, support group, etc.  I take anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds and they do help me.  I still feel negative at times and I know that I shouldn't, but the meds help and then I remind myself that it's been worse (and could be worse again), so I should be thankful for what I can do right now. 
Crohn's Disease with Arthritis, Non-Erosive Reflux Disease, Gastritis, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Endometriosis, Depression/Anxiety 

jeanneac
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 1812
   Posted 8/3/2010 10:54 AM (GMT -7)   
I think you are being way too hard on yourself. If you are looking for true love, you want someone to love you for what's on the inside, not b/c you have a great bod. That won't last. When I was younger and looked fabulous I never had good relationships. When I started liking myself and becoming more confident, I divorced a real jerk and met a wonderful man. He loves me for me and is so patient with my disease as it slows me and our life down. I did not meet him when I was thin either.


I think Zena had some good advice about therapy and meds if you need them. It is only natural to feel like this disease took the wind out of your sails but I am sure you still have a lot to give. It is so hard sometimes to NOT become your illness. I fight it too. Focus on getting well and being good to yourself and hopefully, the rest will fall into place. God bless.
d 1/09 with colitis sigmoid colon with some diverticular disease as well
IBS, high BP, fibromyalgia, Mixed Connective Tissue Disease
claritin, diovan, progesterone, VSL#3 probiotic, Vit. D, colazal, plaquenil, omeprazole for reflux, wellbutrin, 5 mg prednisone/day.
Blood test positive for Crohn's via prometheus ibd serology panel ASCA
Positive ANA, LOTS of joint pain followed by a recent set back with the colitis.

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 8/3/2010 12:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I strongly believe in a whole person approarch to any illness. This is a crappy disease. :) Pun intended!!!!!!!!!!! And I believe in using every weapon in the arsernal that one needs to fight against what this disease can do to one. Too often we focus on the physical part of illness, but the emotional part of it can be just as devastating, if not more so.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 8/3/2010 2:27:12 PM (GMT-6)


ProfCrohny
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 8/4/2010 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, everyone. I sincerely appreciate your comments. Ironically, I'm a psychologist, so I always really believed that the mind and body were pretty intertwined. I still do, but I've become a little disillusioned with therapy. I tried a bunch of different therapists when I first got sick. But, I felt that therapy was kind of lacking since I got sick. Or, at least most therapists didn't seem to know what to say when it's something out of the person's control, like a chronic illness. It was interesting from the perspective of being a therapist myself, but frustrating nonetheless. But, yeah...I was in therapy for a year after I got sick and I realized after I posted this comment that I probably need to return to it...even if I'm ambivalent about the process. So, I have an appointment tomorrow with someone. I don't know how I feel about the appointment, but my negative thinking has spiraled out of control and I clearly need help. I really appreciate your comments.
Female, 33. Diagnosed August 2007 with Crohn's Colitis. Asacol 400 mg 6 x day, Orthotricyclin Lo, Calcium, and multivitamin.
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