relatives visiting and flaring

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4338
   Posted 8/14/2010 11:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I have relatives visiting for this week, and I'm having lots of stomach pain. I had to skip dinner tonight and just have a piece of toast to give my GI system a rest. I haven't decided yet if I think it's a Crohn's flare, or just bad IBS. I've been under tremendous stress all summer, as my mom is dying from cancer, but I've really coped pretty well. It amazes me though that when I don't feel well and nobody is visiting, I can just take my pain in stride and do the best I can, but it is sooo much more stressful when I have to entertain.My relatives are completely understanding, so I can't blame them...I just HATE feeling sick around other people and having to put on a happy face. I know what to eat and do to deal with my flare, but the stress of dealing with my visitors makes it so hard for me! I just want to curl up in my bed and wait until I feel better, but that would be so rude! Does anyone else struggle with this?
51 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in small intestine and terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Also have IBS, and had Salmonella Dec. '07
currently taking Pentasa- 4 500mg pills per day, Metamucil and colace for constipation, probiotics

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 8/15/2010 2:46 AM (GMT -6)   
I know how you feel, I struggle sometimes, and it is hard to entertain when your in pain. I have good family and a good partner that generally take over and let me rest when I need to. Even if I dont tell them I am in pain, they notice, and the extra bathroom trips give it away too. I don't like not being independent but some times you have to give in!
Good luck and hope it goes well!
Michelle 40 years old
Diagnosed with CD 2004 (undiagnosed correctly +- 3 years, wrongly diagnosed with IBS)
Bowel resection 2005
medication: pentasa 500mg , Co-codomol 500mg/32mg codeine
loperamide 2mg (prn - take as many as 10-20 a day)
calcium tablets, multivitamin tablets, Omega 3
Ferrous sulphate(anaemia)
levothyroxine (thyroid)
questran light (3 sachets/day), 3 monthly B12 Injections

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 1070
   Posted 8/15/2010 10:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Sounds like you handled this really well actually and that your family are good folks. I have noticed that for example when I am driving and my wife is in the car I have to ask her not to talk if I don't feel "well".

Perhaps this is similar to how you can handle your pain and discomfort without company being at your house. I think that I kind of meditate when I have pain but when my wife talks it pulls me out of my meditation and into the "real world". When you have company you have to come out of your hibernation or meditation or whatever. It is also hard to be in pain around folks you are not VERY close to.

Since your relatives understand just RELAX and let your guard down. Do what you can do and lean on them to help you. If you have to collapse on the couch with a hot water bottle do it. What would you do if it was one of them who was ill and needed this help? You don't need to be a hero here do you? Just don't swing the other way and use your sickness as an excuse when you could "suck it up". This is how I would handle it. I do hope you feel better and wish you luck.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4338
   Posted 8/15/2010 10:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the replies. Fun Guy you are right husband completely gets me, so I feel free to relax but it is much harder with anyone else. I've been in remission for quite a while, so it is really disappointing to be having a tough time...I'm in Northern MI and the weather is beautiful, and I'm needing to remain close to home and the bathroom! I know I just need to do the best I can, but I really hate the unpredictability of Crohn's!!!! Thanks for the support!
51 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in small intestine and terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Also have IBS, and had Salmonella Dec. '07
currently taking Pentasa- 4 500mg pills per day, Metamucil and colace for constipation, probiotics

Becoming undone
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 927
   Posted 8/15/2010 12:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm glad when I get to entertain at home...I used to feel guilty if I had to go into my room and close the door...but not so much anymore...When I don't feel good, I just go lie down...and now, I don't even need to explain, DH will if needed...that helps so, so much, and I am so thankful for that...
And it makes visiting with people (esp if they are staying over) so much less stressful...and I get to enjoy spending time with them...good time...

It might be something to consider...when you don't feel well, just quietly leave the room, lie down for awhile, then visit some could discuss what you need with hubby and family before the need arises...that way, it is not such deal when you need to leave for awhile...

Wishing all happiness and a good time visiting...
"The earth laughs in flowers"
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