sister with crohns, and I know nothing

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

czoren
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/24/2007 7:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi I am David in Utah my sister in nevada has crohns and it has of course been painful and my concern for her was really not something I would post on the internet for 2 reasons I figured she had a dr and was getting treatment and it dint effect me as selfish as that sounds. In the past few years she seems to be getting more and more out here for lack of a better term...she called my other sister and yelled all kinds of insults half truths and just plain delusioal BS, I guess my question is does this seem like anything to do with this disoder or is she likely suffering other problems unconested to crohns? Please help since I have little other recourses.-D  czoren@myway.com

tinglebell
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 531
   Posted 8/24/2007 8:58 PM (GMT -7)   
She probably need s a lot of family support right at this time. Our disease is very unpredictive and expensive at times. My sisters want me off all my meds and do some diet stuff and homeopathic concoctions. I think I'm ready for something new.
DIANNE
Diagnosed at age 19 with CD.
3 small bowel resections, 1 for perforation, 2 for strictures 
 


czoren
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/24/2007 11:26 PM (GMT -7)   
but ... is the weird behavior likley due to crohns???

hipsydipsy
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 58
   Posted 8/25/2007 5:21 AM (GMT -7)   
well if you mean does crohn's cause some sort of behavioural side effects, then no. But people with crohnic illnesses can get frustrated, upset, depressed etc and can take it out on the wrong people sometimes...

JudyK89
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 8/25/2007 6:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Some of the medications can also cause behavioral changes, it depends on what medications she's on. Also if she's in chronic pain it can wear a person down, definitely cause personality changes. Why don't you call her and see how she's doing and ask if there's anything you can do for her? Does she have a family with her to help her deal with things? If she really is having a melt down, someone should be with her.
Judy
25+years diagnosed with CD. 
Numerous surgeries, permanent ostomy, adverse reactions to Remicade finally off of Prednisone, hoping for a long remission from this last surgery. 
 
 


Lucillemom
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 183
   Posted 8/25/2007 6:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I have to agree with all of the post. If, she doesn't have a support system to help her through this awful illness then depression can set in on a person. That can cause changes in personalities. Crohn's is a very ugly disease to go through alone. Maybe you could call and just lend a listening ear.





Hemi and Fissure surgery that developed 2 abcess deep in my left cheek, by my rectum...(oh how fun!) Medication: Asacol 12 pills a day, Immuran 200 mg, Welchol 4 pills a day for diarhea

Pregnant for my second baby that is due Nov. 1, 2007

Thank God for my adorable daughter, who makes me smile
<FONT color=red>everyday!


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 8/25/2007 6:56 AM (GMT -7)   
 I give you kudos for be concerned, but is you concern going to be helpful to your sister or will it hinder her?  When someone is sick they ususally revert, so this might be a time for unconditional positive reguard.  My first suggestion would be to use more empowering words then "yelled all kinds of insults half truths and just plain delusioal BS."  That is not going to help her.  Perhaps this might help "Dear sister, I love you.  How can I help you?" might be alot better.
 
Chronic illness/pain can make life very difficult and therefore affect personality. (any mental health issues are considered secondary in a case with chronic illness)  In all honesty a high fever can cause delusions, which fever is common with crohns that is out of control.  Meds can also do this (remember roid rage?).

You have not given us alot of details on the state of her life and your relationship with her.  Since I see that you are not in the same state I wonder how close you are?  I am not saying it is impossible to be close when you live away, but it does make things more difficult.  How close are your sisters to each other? 
 
Well I want to give you a perspective of what your sister is going thru: how would you feel if you had the stomach flu all the time for years? If you had less bowel control than a one year old? And in so much pain it feels like you are being tortured? It would not make you exactly the easiest person to be around. Especially if you have crummie docs and you need someone to advocate for you.

Believe me if your family is not around for you and helping you, you might get mighty peeved. Crohns can be alot like doing chemo if it is not well control. Now not all cases or times with crohns is like this, but I am trying to help give you a perspective here.

If your sister had cancer how would you help her?

Hopefully you would be there to help her go to doctors appointments, chemo, and just generally help her out because she would hardly have to energy to take care of herself (i.e. make food, do dishes, laundry etc.). Or else you would arrange help for her.

I don't mean to be harsh, but I do want you to understand where your sister is at possible at right now.


Forum Moderator 
I will find a way, or make one.-Philip Sidney
Make sure your suffering has meaning...

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 8/25/2007 11:07:42 AM (GMT-6)


Writer
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 443
   Posted 8/25/2007 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Crohn's disease does not cause delusional behavior or other psychiatric illness. It's hard to say, but from your description it sounds like your sister could now be dealing with some psychiatric problems as well as Crohn's. If you have the opportunity to visit her, that might give you a chance to assess whether her attitude of recent phone calls was just a matter of blowing off steam or whether she seems disturbed in a more sustained way. If the latter, it would be important to encourage her to seek mental health care.

There is also a medication-related possibility. If she is taking corticosteroids (e.g., prednisone or prednisolone), she might be suffering psychiatric side effects from the medication -- steroid-induced psychosis, for instance. In that case, she would need to develop a plan with her doctors to taper and ultimately discontinue the steroids while moving to a different treatment.


reynoldi
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 244
   Posted 8/25/2007 9:26 AM (GMT -7)   
if families cant connect it is not just the one person. it takes 2 to not communicate right.
"If thou wilt be observant and vigilant, thou wilt see at every moment the response to thy action. Be observant if thou wouldst have a pure heart, for something is born to thee in consequence of every action." -Rumi-
 
CD for 15 years diagnosed at age 11(i get the crohns cycle)


peggy113
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 8/25/2007 10:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Tho I am new and haven't posted until now, I have been lurking and just had to post to this one. When I was on the "roids", I was very, very nasty to EVERYONE. Even to those people I loved dearly. I was just so miserable with pain and nothing was giving me relief. That was many years ago, and I remember the pain vividly. And I was sick of being sick. Be very patient and try to understand.
Peggy
       


czoren
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/25/2007 3:04 PM (GMT -7)   
i dont think I am any more or less supportive as anyone else in a simular siuation, I know as much, well more now...about your common aliment as you may know about mine . Mostly the I ask about it was fear ...she is acting different than I would think that she would ...yelling at another realative to the poit of tears insulting her on things that just seem so unlike her I know she has pain ...of course ones suffering cannot be known by another

gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 8/25/2007 4:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Just wanted to say that sometimes people are not there when we need them some people worry so much that help is hard to find . What meds is she on .?The least pressure and more help makes a difference .How long has she had CD ? I am sure you are concerned let her know you are there for her. Hopefully she has a good GI and a good diet helps CD . Learn about it so you have a better prospective about it.Best Wishes tell her to join us the support is a great help. lol gail

flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 8/25/2007 4:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Have you talked with your sister who has Crohn's about what happened? Maybe your other sister said something that upset her. I've learned in family quarrels that it helps to hear all sides of the story to better understand what's really going on.

czoren
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/26/2007 12:13 AM (GMT -7)   
well since I last posted I did talk with the whole clan except the one sister in Ohio, It seems that my mom who lives blocks from the sister has seem no other outbursts the sister that was the recipient is not about to call because she was yelled at about things that happened years ago and things that never happened and even about her conversion to a different religion than our family ... it looks less and less like a matter of anything to do with crohn's because my mother says she just lays there in pain i can even imagine the physical pain but I appreciate all of your help she takes no medication that is narcotic, we have addiction in the family (me) and most have quit or are looking for another route for pain management I know this is 1 long sentence but I am no rocket scientist maybe something else she was sweet as could be to me today and I didn't mention it for fear of messing up my relationship with her .... so other than mostly eliminating crohn's as a likely contributor...I have just found out I am not at fault appriciate all your help and will continue to read about this affliction to try to help .

belleenstein
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1010
   Posted 8/26/2007 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
It's important to remember that truth is relative. One person's truth may not be another's, but it is still valid. When you describe your sister's narrative as "things that happened years ago and things that never happened" you are taking away your sister's right to her story. It is one thing to say in response "I don't remember this happening" but not that it never happened.

When words like delusional and never happened are used as a response to someone's recollections it stops communication and further escalates the cycle of hostility. people then often become enmeshed in a "he said" "she said" debate that goes nowhere and does nothing to advance understanding.


It sounds as though your sister harbours some deep-seated grievances with her sister. perhaps dealing with her illness has made her realize the importance of processing these old hurts so that they no longer have the power to hurt her and maybe that is why she is bringing it up. Those hurts are her reality. Whether or not they are "the truth", they are her truth and if you can find a way of supporting her without necessarily accepting her truth (after all, you probably have your own truth) you might find a way to heal the breach and become closer as a result.

Try not to be defensive even if what she has to say about her experiences in the past are painful to hear and don't fit with what you remember.

Family relationships can be very complicated and sometimes a struggle, but the family you have is the only family you've got. Worth the struggle.
Belleenstein:

30+ years living with Crohn's.


JudyK89
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 8/26/2007 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   
czoren said...
 ... it looks less and less like a matter of anything to do with crohn's because my mother says she just lays there in pain i can even imagine the physical pain but I appreciate all of your help she takes no medication that is narcotic, we have addiction in the family (me) and most have quit or are looking for another route for pain management
I'm sorry, but this statement really bothers me.   It looks less like crohn's because your sister just lays there in pain?  She doesn't take pain medication because YOU were an addict? It sounds like your sister needs a lot more support than you are giving her, and also a good doctor. 
 
Just because you had a problem with drugs, does it seem fair that your sister should suffer?  My brother was (maybe still is) an addict.   I've been on and off pain meds AS NEEDED for over 30 years and have not become addicted.  
 
And if she's in that much pain, without any sort of medication, you should be way more supportive of ANYTHING she may say anytime she may lose it. 
 
Sorry everyone if this starts a hulabaloo, but this really struck me as wrong.


Judy
25+years diagnosed with CD. 
Numerous surgeries, permanent ostomy, adverse reactions to Remicade finally off of Prednisone, hoping for a long remission from this last surgery. 
 
 

Post Edited (JudyK89) : 8/26/2007 8:36:38 AM (GMT-6)


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 8/26/2007 9:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Narcs work quite well for people with crohns pain and it slows down the digestive system which with explosive d is a good thing. And most of us do use them as needed. Your mother allows your sister to lay there in pain? ARE YOU SERIOUS? What kind of doc's does your sister have that they allow her to be in pain? Living in chronic pain can shorten your life because it overstresses the other body systems.

Now that you are assured of your sister's mental status any further involvement in their arguement (i.e. "she was yelled at about things that happened years ago and things that never happened and even about her conversion to a different religion than our family") is no longer a role of yours. (especially since you are already disengaged from the situation) Granted I could not exactly tell because of how you worded your post. But it seems to me that your sisters need to work this out on their own.


Forum Moderator 
I will find a way, or make one.-Philip Sidney
Make sure your suffering has meaning...

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 8/26/2007 1:59:34 PM (GMT-6)


czoren
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/26/2007 2:24 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks for your help some of you have been very helpful, I do not conntrol what my sister does to take care of pain ... ...most of you are more than helpful. thanks to most
 
___________________________________________
I had to edit your post because you were flaming members.-Navy

Post Edited By Moderator (MMMNAVY) : 8/26/2007 7:37:58 PM (GMT-6)


dragonfly137927
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2527
   Posted 8/26/2007 10:09 PM (GMT 0)   
I know when I am on Prednisone my behavior goes wacky (I become a witch or really happy). Pain meds are something she should have. If she had constipating Crohn's that could be a reason for not putting her on pain meds and if she isnt an addict I dont see why she isnt on pain meds. I would suggest a 2nd opinion from another GI. I know the pain and trust me it is horrible at times. In when I have severe pains and no pain meds I will use a heating pad and drink tea and if my Dr says clear liquid diet then I do it. She may want to have a food diary to see what foods affect her.
Dx with Crohn's 1987, symptoms as early as 1984.
Temp iliostomy February 2007, reversed June 2007, Ovarian cysts, migraines, allergies (incl food allergies) , oral allergy syndrome (diff than true food allergies), Asthma, Gall Bladder removed 1999, Inguenal hernia 1987
 
 


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 8/26/2007 7:00 PM (GMT -7)   
It is VERY DIFFICULT to understand your post and so there is some confusion about it.   In fact I am still having problems understanding what you are saying.  I don't know if there are missing words in your post or if there is a language problem or what.  I don't know all we can do is give you advice to the info that you have giving us. I know you said that you were going to seek advice elsewhere, but please understand where we are coming from and we are doing the best we can given the sketchy info that you have given to us. 
 
Your sister should not be in that kind of pain and suggests to me that this is poor medical management and your sister could use another opinion. It also sounds like she needs someone to advocate for her (a family member or friend).  In fact because women do not statistically get their pain managed well. (Believe me I hate to say that but it is a statistical fact.)
 
The issue is why is your sister in so much pain? Is she avoiding narcs because you were a drug addict? You have to admit there is some flawwed logic there. It makes me wonder what is going on here? That is what I inferred from your post and I assume that is what Judy inferred. It is a different thing if she is a recovering drug addict, but that can be dealt with.
 
You mentioned that you had an aliment, what exactly is going on there?  Is it the drug addiction? 
As my own brother said when reading this post (I had called him about this): "I would never let you lie there in pain and Mom sure as heck wouldn't." (meaning that he would take me to the er or get me to another GI depending on the severity)  I am not trying to be mean, I am trying to give you a model to work from.

P.S. A friendly word of advice: be the brother that gives her unconditional possitive reguard.  Especially since you are disengaged (even by a simple thing such as distance) from the situation right now. 


Forum Moderator 
I will find a way, or make one.-Philip Sidney
Make sure your suffering has meaning...

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 8/26/2007 8:59:30 PM (GMT-6)


Lucillemom
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 183
   Posted 8/26/2007 7:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Could this argument between your sister taken place at a bad time. I have 3 sisters, I am the only one with a chronic illness (crohn's) I have 2 sister that always behave like that, when something is said that they don't like or disagree with. I am not saying this behavior is normal for your sisters, but it would be normal for my sisters. I guess my sister are very high strung in there personalilties.





Hemi and Fissure surgery that developed 2 abcess deep in my left cheek, by my rectum...(oh how fun!) Medication: Asacol 12 pills a day, Immuran 200 mg, Welchol 4 pills a day for diarhea

Pregnant for my second baby that is due Nov. 1, 2007

Thank God for my adorable daughter, who makes me smile
<FONT color=red>everyday!


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 8/27/2007 4:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Glad your not at fault if your sister is mad at someone that is between them either they will work it out or they won't. Hope you get some help for your addiction. I hope your sister gets some help there are many meds that treat CD.Best Wishes lol gail
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 9:13 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,466 posts in 301,216 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151332 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Blueswoman.
294 Guest(s), 11 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
DQueen, Bloom93, jdcd57, mspt98, time2reclaim, sam12, Red_34, Yarbo3, Gram4plus, Mister Mike, julymorning


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer